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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: and the guy in the bleachers starts yelling things like "whattsamatta Verrrrnon" and "HE LIKES GUYS!" |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: And, as I'm sure you know, I love vaginal sex. |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: So when I head out for the next inning I throw the guy a ball, upon which I have written:
"Dear Mr. Dork,
Here’s your ball, now please tell me what gas station you work at so I can come and yell at you when you’re working. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game.
From your favorite center fielder." |
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Sexybaek: lol owned |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: Turns out he works at a Shell station in Cleveland, so I go there every couple of days, buy a ton of lottery tickets, and then stand there scratching them off in front of him so his line gets super long and everyone gets pissed |
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Sexybaek: omg harshly owned |
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Elijah_Price: I had a situation like that at Dodger Stadium not too long ago. There was a guy in the Chavez Ravine stands mercilessly heckling me, saying things like "you're too old for centerfield" or "you suck," or "your duodenum has fallen out and is laying by the sidelines." |
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Elijah_Price: I said some things to him like, "you are a fat!" and noted that he couldn't touch the threads on my jock strap. |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: which makes sense, because you were wearing pants |
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Elijah_Price: To further illustrate, I tossed the rowdy a brown bag containing my jockstrap. He went from hating me to telling everyone that I'm his personal girlfriend. |
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Sexybaek: pwned |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: Was he able to touch the threads? |
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Elijah_Price: yes, surprisingly |
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Kiss_The_Sheff: one time in boston a fan touched me so i tried punching him in his goddamn mouth |
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RingDaBelleBitch: i had to do that one time, except the fan didn't put his hands on me, he refused to give me back a ball i hit |
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RingDaBelleBitch: so i had to be all "bitchhh! your a bitch!!! what now little bitch lit ole stu pit bitch!! |
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RingDaBelleBitch: and then once i threw a baseball at a guy because he was being a bitch and i was like "bitch!!!!!" |
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RingDaBelleBitch: and one time a fan came to my house trick a treatin on halloween and said "trick or treat!!!" at my door like a ultimatum, so i got in my car and ran him down with my car |
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RingDaBelleBitch: and one time a fan was heard to remark "it is sure hot!" so i smashed his cooler of soda pop with my baseball bat and said "what now bitch !!" |
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RingDaBelleBitch: he had no answer
lit ole stu pit bitch |
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RingDaBelleBitch: and one time a fan axed me for an autograph so i refused, swore at her, shoulderblocked her to the ground, put a GPS tracking unit on her car, obtained his phone records, used techmology to find her home, and then choked the hell out of her |
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RingDaBelleBitch: "what now lil bitch" |
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Sexybaek: lmao
total possession as property |
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Sexybaek: So what would you guys say is your favorite thing about interacting with the fans? |
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WhatchuTalkinBoutWells: playing well, earning their respect |
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Elijah_Price: knowing that you've put a smile on someone's face |
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Kiss_The_Sheff: making so much money that they cain't have none |
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RingDaBelleBitch: makin everybody feel bad for no reason |
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RingDaBelleBitch: then walking up to them later and bumping them with my stomach and axin "what now" |
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RingDaBelleBitch: what now lil bitch |
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RingDaBelleBitch: lit ole stu pit bitch |
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Sexybaek: I would also say that! |
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Sexybaek: what |
