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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: and tomorrow afternoon is the "Fight Domestic Violence" Bake Sale! |
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ThorneInYourEye: Laura, if you personify "domestic violence" as an entity, as you have done by suggesting it was a thing that you could yourself personally fight, doesn't that make fighting domestic violence into domestic violence itself? |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: we ask that you please do not actually fight the domestic violence |
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RickFace: And what about the fact that your husband is a multi-millionaire? Wouldn't it be easier just to give the domestically violated some money, instead of using your money to raise awareness and make other people give them that money? You know, cut out the middle man. |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: there will be a dunking booth and cake walk |
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RickFace: Laura, will this kind of help Jay in the domestic violence area? If he doesn't start getting a few more hits, you might grab him around the neck and rough him up a little bit. |
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RickFace: Is this money going to go to help him a little bit with maybe some of the hospital bills or something like that? |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: I don't know, Rick. I don't think I'm encouraging that. I'm definitely not ... |
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RickFace: Not going there? |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: Not going there. |
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RickFace: All right, I'll domestically violate him if he doesn't start getting some more hits. The motherfucker! |
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ThorneInYourEye: I know, right? Jay Gibbons. What a motherfucker! |
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RickFace: Look at him down there in the dugout, chewing bubble gum. I'm likely to take a vacuum cleaner and force it deep into his ass! |
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ThorneInYourEye: I work long and hard, every day, supporting this team. So when I come to the game I expect some base hits! Is that too much to ask? |
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RickFace: No, it isn't! You shouldn't have to put up with that! |
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ThorneInYourEye: You're right, Rick, if Jay doesn't reach first base here I'm going to go down there and beat him in the face with a hairbrush. |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: guys you should probably think before you say things on the air |
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RickFace: Y'hear that, Gary? Th' bimbo thinks we should THINK! Well you know what I think? I think you should "talk to the hand!"
/raises fist |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: /flinches |
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ThorneInYourEye: Ha! Look'it that! Just like a woman! |
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RickFace: she's probably just actin' testy 'cause it's "that time of the month," ay Gary? |
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ThorneInYourEye: May be! But Doug Mirabelli told me the blood expunged during her menstrual cycle isn't blood at all! It's paint! |
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RickFace: PAINT! Laura, get over here, YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW, WHERE IN YOUR BODY ARE YOU HIDING A CAN OF PAINT |
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JayGibbonsOnlyFan: I'm not, Rick! I'm not hiding paint in me, I'm not hiding- |
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RickFace: COME HEREEEE |
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**Online Host**
A hailstorm of welding anvils has fallen from the sky and killed Rick Dempsey and Gary Thorne, thank Christ. |
