OldLOL: I have been walking on ballfields for 23 years, and I've never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you.

OldLOL: I have had the great honor to have played with these great veteran ballplayers on my left -- Murderers Row, our championship team of 2000.

OldLOL: I now have the further honor of living with and playing with these men on my right -- the Bronx Bombers, the Yankees of today.

/puts on Yankees hat

OldLOL: I have been given fame and well deserved praise by the boys up there behind the wire in the press box -- my friends, the caterers.

I have worked with the two greatest asses of all time, my own rump derriere, and Mr. Joe Torre.

OldLOL: I have a mother and father who fought to give me health and a solid background in my youth.

OldLOL: I have a wife, a companion for life, that has bore me children who I have only occasionally had to mow down in anger with fastballs.

OldLOL: People all say that I've had a bad break. But today --

OldLOL: TODAY today today

OldLOL: I consider mySELF self self

OldLOL: The luckiest MAN man man

OldLOL: on the FACE face

OldLOL: of the EARTH earth

/holds for applause

GuidryToANunnery: Rocket, what're you doing? You're talking to the hot dog vendor.

OldLOL: who in the fuck did you think i was talking to