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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /opens robe to reveal bikini briefs
yeeeeah, you like that |
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WedWood: baby you get the hot tub warmed up and I'll be riiiiiight back |
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**Online Host**
WedWood has left the chatroom to slip into something a little more comfortable.
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: yesss we are totally going to cyber
/lights candles |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /puts champagne on ice
/arranges roses in vase
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /turns hot tub up to full blast |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /presses play on jambox |
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**Online Host**
music - Barry White, "I'm Qualified To Satisfy You"
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: awl riiiight |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: less get it owwwwwnnnnn /places foot into hot tub |
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**Online Host**
Meanwhile, in Heaven, God remembers that Kerry Wood is moving in the tangible world.
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /slips on tub
AAAAAAH |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /stumbles into dresser
/knocks over candles, lighting self on fire
AAAH AAAAAH |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /pours champagne on self to extinguish fire
/slips on loose champagne
WHOOOAAAA |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /collapses onto floor
/vase falls off table, lands on head
DAAAAH |
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**Online Host**
Barry White has entered the chatroom.
**Online Host**
Barry White is now punching lumberjacks_kerrywood in the leg.
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: /lies bare-assed on own floor |
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WedWood: oh honeeey, i'm... |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: .... |
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WedWood: /looks around |
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**Online Host**
The hot tub has flipped over on its power in Asimov-esque attempt to drown own owner
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WedWood: married to kerry wood |
| |
**Online Host**
The next day, in the Chicago Cubs Chatroom
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: and, y'see, I've got this show called "Kerry Wood Celebrity Hot Tub" where I interview celebrities in my hot tub, but when I put my toe in it was too hot |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: so I turned away and knelt, and my assistant placed a cape over my shoulders |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: and I was like, "HYAH! Good God!" |
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PiniellaTailOnTheDonkey: i see |
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PiniellaTailOnTheDonkey: all right, well, what's YOUR excuse? |
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MarkPrevious: I am trapped at the bottom of a well. |
