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Welcome to the Nightline Chatroom!

TheOddKoppel: As we all know, February is Black History Month, a time set aside in rememberance of important people and events in black history.

TheOddKoppel: And, as we always do when the number at the end of the year in this decade is "seven," we hope to remember Jackie Robinson, the brave African-American man who "stole away home" into our hearts and several of our middle-American hotels by breaking Major League Baseball's "color barrier."

TheOddKoppel: Here to help us celebrate is Los Angeles Dodger Al Campanis, Al?

AnisGoesToCamp: how in the world did you get a lectric typewriter to type on the television, where am i whats goin on

TheOddKoppel: Mr. Campanis is appearing courtesy of the sorceress Ultimecia, who as you are well aware compressed time in this chatroom, allowing all moments in history to happen simultaneously.

TheOddKoppel: And... yes, we are receiving word that Anna Nicole Smith has died, and reincarnated herself through the use of her own vagina. Good game, SeeD!

TheOddKoppel: So tell us Mr. Campanis, what do you think is the best part about Black History Month? I would say, "commercials about Harriet Tubman."

AnisGoesToCamp: blacks may not have some of the necessities to fill, say, an entire month with history

TheOddKoppel: bwaaaat /weird Ted Koppel noise

AnisGoesToCamp: /points to foot

see, they're missing a bone in the back of their foot, and because of this the only people they talk about during black history month are Aretha Franklin and George Washington Carver.

AnisGoesToCamp: singers, slaves, or guys who invented stuff

what I'm trying to say is that maybe they don't have the drive necessary to say "hey maybe maya angelou isn't the only black person to have ever written a book"

AnisGoesToCamp: besides, i ain't convinced that every black in baseball is black

consider the back of melido perez's topps big baseball card

melido perez (gross)

TheOddKoppel: oh come on, come on! Everybody on Topps Big was white, and we all know Melido Perez is the blackest mother effer in history. These remarks are clearly that of a racist.

AnisGoesToCamp: I know. And looking back on it from dying I can see how as a young man I might've not known any better, and as an old man I might've just been talking without thinking. Both times I might've been a total goon.

AnisGoesToCamp: but now that I've been in Heaven for a while, I figured out that the trick isn't to take a bunch of people and put 'em in a month. that only leads to you learnin' about the same 10 people every February. like in high school where you learned about mesopotamia and the civil war for like 8 years in a row

AnisGoesToCamp: don't have "black history month." don't celebrate jackie every time the decade turns. Jackie Robinson was a beautiful man.

AnisGoesToCamp: and it's idiots like me, or however I was in a few minutes that counted, who stow it away on a month or an afternoon, and forget to carry it with them every day of the year.

AnisGoesToCamp: time compression is pretty strange, ted. yer lookin' back before you ever started.

TheOddKoppel: excuse me Al, sorry to interrupt but we've got some breaking news: Paris Hilton

AnisGoesToCamp: well, there you go.

TheOddKoppel: There you have it ladies and gentlemen, Al Campanis is a terrible racist and will be remembered as such forever.

TheOddKoppel: Coming up next on our look at baseball and black history, Hall of Famer Ty Cobb! He'll be talking about "how they jump out a the way when ya try to spike em," whatever that means.