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HurdleWax: now that we've got Javy Lopez on the team, we need somebody terrible to throw to him. |
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SamPer_Fi: If you're looking to lose games look no further than Rodrigo Lopez! |
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HurdleWax: The Lopez-Lopez Connection! Sounds great! If you give me cash I will trade you a "player to be named later" |
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SamPer_Fi: haha that is because you are the Rockies and nobody can name your players |
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SamPer_Fi: I will give you a Rodrigo Lopez and 35 dollars for your Turbographix-16 and its Bonk games |
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HurdleWax: no dice
You've got to want something much worse than that |
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HurdleWax: how about I trade you the ugliest man in the history of baseball, the son of an environmentalist and his llama, Mr. Jamey Carroll |
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DEMON: raaah raaaah hisss |
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SamPer_Fi: no, as the Coach of a team owned by a vampire who formerly employed a werewolf, I can't handle turning my head to the left and seeing that fucking guy sitting two feet away. |
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DEMON: /noisely devours goat |
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SamPer_Fi: Let's think constructively. What's the absolute WORST thing you can think of, abstractly, in the world? |
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HurdleWax: severe distress coming to my wife or children |
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SamPer_Fi: Okay, and what is just slightly better than that? |
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HurdleWax: being hit in the dick with a sandbag dropped from a great height |
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SamPer_Fi: So what is better than your wife and children being hurt, but not as good as being sandbagged in the cock? |
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HurdleWax: /thinks for a moment
/counts on fingers
Two Colorado Rockies minor leaguers? |
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SamPer_Fi: I'll take them! |
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HurdleWax: Yes! The Lopez-Lopez Connection! /pumps fist |
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SamPer_Fi: I'm excited, too. I can't wait for the Orioles to have even more coddled, high-quality minor leaguers who rot in triple-A and later become superstars for other major league teams when we've shipped them off in exchange for a 45 year old home run hitter who hits 8 home runs and gets hurt! |
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HurdleWax: Go ahead and send him on over to the Rockies chatroom so we can all go down in the river to pray |
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SamPer_Fi: that's funny, I've always viewed Rodrigo Lopez as evidence that God could not exist |
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**Online Host**
To reiterate, Rodrigo Lopez is awful and hooray he does not play for the Orioles anymore
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