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BorasStone: /does ol' soft shoe routine into room
/tips straw election hat
Step right up, coxcombs and dandies, and feast your eyes on the ever-loving, walking, talking, fire-breathing MANNN FROM JAPANNNN |
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SukeSukeNow: /bows repeatedly |
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BorasStone: You and your team are just gonna DIE if you don't sign Suke Matsuzaka, baseball's sole proprietor of the mysteeeerious GYRO BALL.
Folks, you seem like the kind and intelligent sort... not like those CANADIAN Baseball Leaguers! What I'm offering you is, in a nutshell, a 45-game winner good for at least, count 'em, EIGHT World Series wins. |
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BorasStone: This man is from the Orient! You may even get to play in the brutal underground Chinese World Series that you've only heard whisperings about! |
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BorasStone: All I need from you is:
1. A bid of X amount of dollars, preferably XXX,XXX,XXX amount of dollars nudge nudge, allowing you the right to then do "the business" with Matsuzaka-zulu!
2. Your social security numbers |
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BorasStone: The bidding starts at ONE DOLLAR AMERICAN, do I hear one dollar, one dollar humna humna hoosagonnabe one dollar humbay humbay |
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PeterAngel: one dollar! |
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PeterAngel: /pretends to pat pants pockets
shit i'm out |
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principlepwner: Manny, are you sure you can't wait until next season to get one of these? It's in fact quite difficult to- |
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MannyTheTorpedoes: hey daddy i wan oombaloompa. i wan you get manny a oombaloompa rite away |
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principlepwner: All right, all right, I'll get you an Asian pitcher before the end of the day. |
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MannyTheTorpedoes: i wan a oombaloompa nowwwwww
or mebbe you tray manny to the yangees an he play with wang//// |
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principlepwner: /tugs collar
Fifteen million dollars. |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: SIXTEEN million dollars! Suck it, Henry! |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: hey manny sup |
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MannyTheTorpedoes: aaaah a monsderrrrr |
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PeterAngel: Can anyone break a five? |
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HendryHuggins: so what exactly are we bidding on again /approaches Matsuzaka
/adjusts area of face where glasses would be |
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SukeSukeNow: /hands Hendry his business card |
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HendryHuggins: /tries to eat business card |
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PeterAngel: I am literally out of change, here. |
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WhatNintendont: The Seattle Mariners know what the people want. They don't want to watch fun games! They want NOVELTY TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT! |
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WhatNintendont: /sets up pitching machine on pitchers mound
Now Adrian Beltre can decide which pitches will be thrown by running in place on our third base Power Pad and pantomiming a throwing motion! |
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WhatNintendont: shut up its awesome you dont know anything about baseball |
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PeterAngel: /checks pockets of satin jacket |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: FORTY MILLION DOLLARS |
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principlepwner: Forty million five! |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: hey manny how about I make Sheffield go play for Detroit? Maybe then you can come play for your Uncle George! |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: i've got cannnndyyyyy
/holds out handful of peppermints |
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MannyTheTorpedoes: gandy |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: now you and the chinaman get into my van |
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principlepwner: MANNY NO |
