The toy section of Big Lots is a desolate place. There are mismatched baby toys, plastic
jewelry and generic action figures. Sometimes there are normal toys, the type you'd be
able to find at a Toys 'R 'Us. The various Barbies and G.I. Joes or even Sesame Street
toys, sloppily ordered on bare metal shelves with large adhesive tags on them with their
new discounted price. Walking up and down the partially organized aisles over the stained
and cracked linoleum, I took looks at all the various toys that I was able to pick from to
take home.
In the summers when I was little, my grandmother would take me to her best friend's home
with my sister to swim. I loved to spend the hot days diving in and out of the water and
lingering by the blue lined walls until my feet and fingers pruned. After we were
practically yanked out of the water and made to change, we would go out for a drive. We'd
visit the cemetery and see my grandfather's grave and make sure it was cleaned and the
grass around it neatly trimmed. If we were hungry we'd end up at a local restaurant. The
type that all of the senior citizens used to visit to get cheap club sandwiches and barley
soup.
If there was something we wanted to see playing at the discount movie theater we would
make a visit there. It was an old two theater building with a stage below the screen and
curtains that pulled back. The best part about going to the theater was that next door was
the local Big Lots. My grandmother loved to shop and so did my sister and I. We'd go
inside, walk around with her as she looked at little things and kept ourselves busy. The
best part was that every time we went shopping there, I came home with a new doll.
I loved playing with my Barbie dolls. I had all sorts of outfits and items to go along
with them. To add another new doll to my collection was exciting and I had all sorts
thanks to my gifts from my grandmother from when we shopped at that store. I had a Lady Lovelylocks
doll, which taught me how to daintily break into homes or alternatively was what
inspired a dyslexic Fergie sing a terrible hit song years later. I had other sorts of
dolls too that ended up forgotten in a short amount of time like Peppermint Rose and Teen
Cheerleader Janet. I liked having these different types of dolls because no one else
seemed to have them and it was a change from the same blonde haired, pink dress wearing
Malibu queen that I already had.
One day after swimming and a movie, I went into the store and to the toy section to look
at what was there. In a pink and blue box there was a blonde doll in a strange outfit. Her
name was written across the front of her shirt and on her earrings. She was similar to a
Barbie but she didn't look like any doll I had ever seen. And holy crap! A doll that comes
with a cassette tape? It was a selling point I couldn't say no to. I made my selection and
was introduced to Brazilian superstar Xuxa.
If we take a samba on down below the equator south from the United States we find the
land of coffee and Victoria's Secret models, South America. To really get to know anything
about Brazilian superstar Xuxa, we must first get to know the land that she came from. If
we were to take a tour of the land of soccer and exotic nuts from Central America, we
would first come across Columbia, home of Juan Valdez and his donkey. Columbia is a
beautiful land and it was founded in its particular place because if it went above Texas
it would break apart. To get closer to Brazilian superstar Xuxa's home we'd have to cross
over the Andes mountain range.
ANDES!??
Running along the western coast of South America, the mountain range
famous for its after dinner mints is one of the longest and highest in the world and is
just like the unconquerable spirit of Brazilian superstar Xuxa. The mountains can't be
climbed, unless you're a Bolivian tour group or a Sherpa. Continuing on east we would find
Xuxa's home country, Brazil.
Born with a bald vagina like the rest of the women in the country, Brazilian superstar
Xuxa was first known as Brazilian civilian Maria da Graca Meneghel. When Maria da Graca
found out she was pregnant years later, she wanted a better life so she decided to smuggle
drugs into the US from Mexico. When that ordeal was over she and her family moved to Rio
de Janeiro. Life was tough for little Maria da Graca, Rio was hot because it sat on the
invisible line through the middle of the earth known as the Ecuador. She had dreams of
going and being famous in such places as Paraguay, the only place in the Americas other
than Massachusetts to allow that kind of marriage.
At age 16, she began modeling and was in such high demand that she was signed by New
York's Ford modeling agency. Young Maria was going to be seen all over the world, like in
Bolivia. Its name is Pauline but I's calls it Bolivia because it's gots bold eyes. When
she began to model, instead of using her real name, Maria took on the name
"Xuxa", a nickname her brother gave her. When her star began to rise she started
making TV appearances as early as 1982. Young and attractive, she was given and took an
opportunity to model in the Brazilian edition of Playboy. She accepted this because she
wasn't a frigid female.
If she was frigid, she would've been from Chile.
Xuxa continued modeling and started her career as a singer, gaining more success. Her
albums sold. She became popular in places like Guyana and French Guiana, where the princes
don't know anything about Shrimp Cocktail. She was on her way to being a superstar! Soon
she would have her own terrible movie with Will Ferrell and everything. Like any
international star, she became famous and well known in other countries, but there is
always the ultimate challenge: to come over to America. Years and years of modeling and
making albums would pay off and Xuxa was ready for her shot at the US.
 
Brazilian superstar Xuxa was finally a big enough star to not only have
her own doll, but to have her own television show in the United States. In 1994, on the
now extinct Family Channel, Xuxa's show began to air its 65 episodes. While I'm not sure
about other places, but the only time I knew of the show being aired was at 6 A.M. on
weekdays. I managed to catch it once when I stayed up all night. It was reminiscent of a
children's variety show. Xuxa would come out, wear crazy cloths, sing a song to her studio
audience of 150 kids play some games, have a guest come onto the show and then sing again.
It wasn't that thrilling of a concept. Personally, if I wanted to watch a show featuring
occasional guests and audience participation, I would get my sleep and just watch
"What Would You Do?" with Marc Summers instead. Though Marc Summers never had
stars like the Olsen twins, Cheech Marin or illusionist Ed Alonzo.
Or a little black kid dressed like a Care Bear.
The show was barely considered successful. I'm sure the timing had
something to do with it. If she had only waited 5 years for the Latin music craze to
begin, she might've had a chance. I know if Shakira had a variety show, it would've been
more successful. However, she was too busy belly dancing and making friends with world
famous poets to tape a show featuring children playing games with water balloons.
Also starring in the show were the "Pixies". Like any superstar,
Xuxa had da posse. In South America, they were known as the "Paquitas" because
they liked bananas. You could think of them as the burrito equivalent of the Wiggly
Dancers. Whenever Xuxa would perform they would be there dancing, sometimes singing, but
always looking their best. Since we don't like foreigners and it's tough enough to get
kids to say "Xuxa" the name "Paquitas" was changed to
"Pixies" and new Americans were hired in the place of their brown friends. Their
new duties, as well as standing in the background wearing ridiculous outfits, were to keep
those kids in line. They needed to be careful in case their use of whipped cream got out
of line.
The show was used to educate as well as entertain and being a singer barely able to speak
English, Xuxa tried to do this through song. Her songs would teach children such things
such as dancing and the alphabet. Take for example the lyrics to "the Alphabet
Song":
"A" IS FOR APPLES
"B" IS FOR BOOKS
"C" IS FOR CARROTS
"D" IS FOR DRAGON
"E" IS FOR THE EARTH
"F" IS FOR FRIENDSHIP
"G" IS FOR GOLDFISH
"H" IS FOR THE HEART
"I" IS FOR ICE CREAM
"J" IS JUBILATION
"K" IS KINDERGATDEN
"L" IS THE LAUGHTER
"M" IS FOR THE MOONLIGHT
"N" IS MOTHER NATURE
"O" IS OH, O.K.
"P" IS FOR THE PEOPLE
"Q" IS THE QUIET TIME
"R" IS FOR THE RAINBOW
"S" IS THE STAR
"T" IS THE TELESCOPE
"U" CAN SEE THE UNIVERSE
"V"ICTORY FOR THE
"W"ORLD
"X" IS FOR WHAT? IT'S FOR XUXA!
"Y" YES
"Z"S FOR ZOO ZOO ZOO
LET'S ALL SING
LET'S ALL PLAY
LET'S BE HAPPY
COME WHAT MAY
LET'S SING THE ALPHABET
WE'RE GONNA LEARN TODAY
Oh, okay. I'm glad to know it teaches important vocabulary like jubilation, quiet time
and Xuxa.
Other songs were things like Xuxa's song, Xuxa's dance, Xuxa's recipe and "Una Equis
en Tu Corazon" which I think is about horses and hearts.
Perhaps it was Xuxa's lack of grasp of the English language or the 6 A.M. time slot, but
after its 13 week run it was never renewed. The half hour of song, dance, contests and
crazy clothes maybe wasn't American enough. The show lingered on in repeats for a few
years until in 1996 it was permanently pulled. Xuxa returned to her homeland to continue
her superstar lifestyle and her work with her charity and her doll was burned most
famously in the music video for Black Hole Sun. She even made it as a joke on the
Simpsons, so I guess it's not all bad for her.
Years later and now in her 40s she is still modeling in her underwear. According to
hearsay, it's not very attractive. From what I hear it's about as attractive as watching Margaret Perrin
romp around in a chemise.
While Xuxa may have never broken through quite the way she would have hoped, I'll always
remember her show and her doll. And if I ever get lonely I can pop in the accompanying
cassette. Just like the lyrics say "she's the one I've been thinking of". I may
have been too old to learn anything from her show other than the ability to later make
puns about her homeland.
Because of that I must say, Gracias Xuxa.
Gracias. |
