Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 15674

Well, you could say I'm kind of "down in the dumps".  I lost my job the other day.  The company's going out of business and laying everybody off!  What would you do?

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

Hi!  I'm new here, but I just thought I'd drop a friendly line and let you know that at KFC, we have some excellent career opportunities!

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 15674

...oh.  Well, I mean, that's nice.  I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the offer.  It's just that...I might be a little overqualified for that.  But thanks.

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 9415

Hey chief, what queerpole here is trying to say is that he doesn't want your fucking shitty job.  Given, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but come on.  He's a long way from giving up on life.

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

Oh, I don't see it that way at all!  KFC's a great place to start, whether you're 16 or 60!  The great thing about this company is, we promote from the inside!  In fact, many of our district managers started by working the counter!  We also provide great benefits, free food, and a fun place to work and make friends!  Doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 9415

Yeah!  It does.  Because guess what?  It'd be worth it if you paid me $50,000 a year to perform such a menial, dead-end job.  But let me guess.  You start at what, $6 an hour?

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

Um.  Well close, we start at $6.50.

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 9415

Oh wow!  Really?  I think you might have convinced me then!  If I'm lucky your entire paycheck might be half my house payment! 

Look, you can just go ahead and can the act.  You look like you're 40.  If you're 40 and still working blue-collar then let's face it, you failed.  You fucked up your one chance to enjoy life.  Congratulations.  Come on now, be honest.  After work, you go home to your trashy hole-in-the-wall apartment, fix yourself some Ramen noodles, eat at a card table that you use as a dining-room table all by yourself, and call it a night.  Well, except for weekend nights!  Those are pity-party nights!  I can see it now.  You take two bites of your Ramen noodles before you can't hold back any more and start weeping into your soup.  Weeping about being too old and ugly and fat to ever find that soul mate you so desperately long for.  Weeping about not being able to afford health insurance and living daily in discomfort and sometimes near-agony.  Weeping about the realization that you took your one chance, your one shot at life, and flushed it down the shitter.  You don't even have to admit it.  I already know.  You could have been like me, earned your college degree at 22, and be earning a healthy living.  But you're not, so wipe that stupid-ass grin off your fucking face and start wishing you had the balls to kill yourself.

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 15674

...

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

I think you have a lot to learn about life.

Look at the world around you.  95% of the world doesn't have as much money as you do.  Are you saying that a person has to make more money that 95% of the world to be happy?  What does that say about the world, that happiness is a hopeless prospect?  That the rest of us are all doomed to misery?

Never, for one second, let yourself believe that what you do is any more significant than what the rest of the world is doing just because you wear a business suit and make more money.  You're yet another cog in the giant Earth machine.  Any and every cog is dispensable.  You are a speck on the Earth, which in turn is less than a speck in the scope of the universe.  We are all insignificant using this standard.  So what does it make sense to do?  Use your own scale.  Evaluate what makes you happy, and follow it.  For some, that means high-level executive.  For some, it means bus driver.  Find the courage to eschew what everyone tells you you must do, because if you look back on an unfulfilling life, you will not be able to blame anyone but yourself. 

Me?  I'm content.  I work with people I like.  I like the fact that I'm paid to be friendly to people, not selling someone out of their retirement benefits, or serving as a detriment to the quality of life of the people who work for me.  Sure, there are times I wished I had more money.  But then I realize that I'm even more glad that I am at least my own person who knows what I need to make myself happy.

hey there biggity brown, you're all right and a bag of chips

does that headset let you talk to god

what astral understandings does he whisper gently in your ear

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 9415

...I, uh...I'm sorry.  There, I said it.

Can I have one of those applications?

ask him why come the chipmunks run when i only want to sit and listen

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

Sure!  Here's hoping you can become a Customer Maniac!

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 15674

Wait, a customer what?

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

A CUSTOMER MANIAC!

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 15674

AAAHH

Registered: January 15, 2026
Posts: 9415

AAAHH

Registered: August 30, 2025
Posts: 15

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ask him why come taste buds dont grow on my fingers because that would be useful as a unicorn