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Animal
Man interested in dicking me around until I figure out what he's talking about

Outfit: thin mask / spandex body suit / question marks / purple Undertaker gloves

Tagline: "Riddle me this!"

Plot summary: The Legion of Doom is a group of super villains bent on nothing specific who are constantly stopped by the "Super Friends," a group of chummy superheroes from the DC Universe with basically every power and resource necessary to beat the cunt out of super villains. For example, say that Lex Luthor wants to rob a bank. He goes to rob the bank with some sort of laser, because fuck, regular people rob banks with regular guns, so robbing a bank with a laser should make things cake, but then WHOOSH Superman flies in and beats the cunt out of him. Lex hobbles away trying to keep his cunt from falling out of his pant leg. So we're left with Superman barking out public service announcements and Luthor's cunt just lies there in the doorway secreting and keeping the automatic doors from shutting.

The Riddler is a card carrying member of the Legion of Doom, which inherently provides two truths: 1) The assumption that Riddler's Legion of Doom has a big question mark on it somewhere, and 2) The group was much more successful when they were in the NWA and calling themselves the "Road Warriors." (more)

User Comments:

How is a raven like a writing pen? Because they both CAN MAKE MORE MONEY NOOOOW~!

The Riddler is sex and popular culture's greatest "submissive." He is a common criminal with no superhuman power, so he compensates by not just committing a crime, but by leaving hints lying around (and sometimes going on TV and giving hints blatantly) to the only people who could logically stop him. And besides that goofy success loophole we're forced to see the Riddler in a skintight fluorescent green leotard covered in giant purple question marks whenever he actually goes out to COMMIT said crimes. So not only does he clue in the heroes to what he's doing, but he makes it incredibly obvious who it will be committing the crime. If he said "I'm going to rob a bank" and then showed up incognito to fuck with the heroes when they arrive that would be one thing, but prancing in through the automatic doors with your figurative wiener flopping around is another. Riddler should give up crime and get a job typing up letters for ass-spanking James Spader. And he should try not to trip over his friend's cunt when he prances through the automatic doors.

I'm actually shocked that Marvel Comics named their Riddler wannabe "Trickster." They completely missed the subtleties of the character. They should've called him "LOOK AT ME MAN" and covered him in flashing arrows.

User Rating: 4.4/10 (101,101 votes)