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Cartoon
Frankenstein Jr. and the Impossibles

Animal
Green discharge

Outfit: lime wetsuit / purple goggles / damp crotch

Tagline: "Stays on the spot, the spot that's hot, Impossibles!"

Plot summary: The Impossibles are a group of super heroes employed as secret agents by the government under the watchful eye of "Big D," who is either a shady fat man or the Dallas Cowboys.  To maintain anonymity the team travels across the country undercover as the rock and roll band "The Impossibles," which is a great way to have nobody know you're the Impossibles.  This is similar to the time when Clark Kent legally changed his name to "I'M SUPERMAN." 

As far as "rock bands" go there wasn't a lot of organization;  shows involved the three Impossibles (Coil Man, Fluid Man, and Jamie Maddrox the Multiple Man) standing side by side on a float reading "The Impossibles" as they bent repeatedly at the knees and played electric guitar.   They all played electric guitar.  There wasn't even a drummer.  The only way a facetious Hanna-Barbera rock group composed of three guitars could be worse is if they changed their name to "Bowling for Soup." (more)

User Comments: The Impossibles skipped all that boring origin bunk and got right to the action;  characters powers and motivations were never explained.  They'd be playing music, get called off to battle The Perilous Paperman, hop into the Impossicar (built by the same guy who made the big red car for the Wiggles), and ensue action hilarity.  Fluid Man can transform into any type of liquid he desires, while still remaining sentient and capable of movement.  So he's like a faucet stream that MIGHT GO UP INSTEAD OF DOWN, BITCHES.  This gives him the ability to seep into things and tend his garden with minimal equipment.

The world will never learn that water-themed super heroes are the worst.  Aquaman, generally considered the lamest of the mainstream main-event super hero world, is easily the best in this genre.  He can swim quickly, talk to fish, make whales be pissed off, etc.  Fluid Man is way way down on the water chain, somewhere alongside Deadly Foe of Spider-man "Hydro-Man."  You can just throw dirt at these guys and cramp their style.  Fluid Man didn't even use his power to do anything.  He just made his body into water from the waist down and jetted himself around.  Even if you're a daredevil delivery specialist like the "Perilous Paperman" it's hard to get your package damaged by a guy with exaggerated anal leakage.

Besides, isn't an air-tight wetsuit the last thing you want to wear when you can turn your body parts into water?

User Rating: 5.4/10 (19,660 votes)