(progressive boink)
(main page)

Cartoon
The All-New Superfriends Hour
The Challenge of the Superfriends
SuperFriends: The Legendary Super Powers Show

Animal
Big-Ass Indian

Outfit: leather vest / headband with matching wrist bands / hilariously brown underwear

Tagline: "Enuch Chuck!"

Plot summary: In 1977 Hanna-Barbera deemed the Superfriends "too white" and acted affirmatively to add a variety of racial stereotypes ethnic super hero representatives.  Instead of looking for ACTUAL African-American, Asian, or Native American heroes from the pages of DC Comics, the Superfriends adopted the socially tolerant equivalents of the "Bugs Bunny and Taz dressed as Kriss Kross" T-shirts from middle school.  They were so "stereotypical" that they were available in the home theater department of your local Wal-Mart. 

The worst of these was Apache Chief.  Despite looking like a Hispanic Cleveland Browns fan, the Chief (who was neither Apache nor a chief) made us sure of his Injun-heritage by never raising his voice over a deep "how" or his words-per-minute above two, often taking entire episodes to carefully explain how they all gather 'round his teepee late at night tryin' to catch a peak at he in nothing but his buffalo briefs, and how he has them standing in line.

Apache Chief's super power contribution to the team was the ability to say "Enuch Chuck!" and grow several hundreds of feet tall.  This is often times confused with his secondary power, which gives him the ability to throw a city East of Eden into the land of Nod when he cries "Enoch Chuck!"

And come to think of it, nobody was waiting in line to see his buffalo briefs, because his buffalo briefs were fucking huge.   They could tarp Wrigley Field with those bad boys if that wouldn't put us all in danger of "many moons." (more)

User Comments: When what looks to be a half-assed Thanksgiving Day Parade float turns out to be a fifty-foot Indian outside your window you may have some reservations.  But don't worry!  Despite wearing a loincloth he DOES in fact also wear fur panties, so you're never in danger of needing a twenty-five foot squirrel to harvest his nuts.  What I'm more worried about is his clean-shaven chest.  I'm just hoping he chooses to shave when he's only six feet tall.  Because if he doesn't, there's a pretty good chance that the Flash is going to die outracing the tachyon at the heart of the Anti-Monitor's Norelco Shaver.

Also, "Apache Chief" is what the Kansas City medics have to say whenever Trent Green goes down with an injury.

User Rating: 2.9/10 (26,473 votes)