April 19th 1970

I can't believe this journal showed up with my stuff today. I was shot in Vietnam and now I don't have to fight in the war no more. I'm glad to be out of there.

A lot has happened since I last wrote in this thing. My best good friend Bubba died the same day I was shot. If I'd have known that was going to be the last time me and Bubba was going to talk I'd have thought of something better to say. I probably would have said “If you say something about shrimp I'm going to shoot you in the braintocks.”

Lieutenant Dan lost his legs from the knees down after he stepped on a landmine. Wouldn't you know he got a bed right next to mine. I told him jokes all the time whether he wanted to hear them or not. Mamma always said that laughter is the best medicine. I remember how much of a fuss I used to make when Mamma would feed me medicine so when Lieutenant Dan threatened me with a bed pan I didn't take it too seriously.

They even gave me the Medal of Honor! Mamma was so proud of me. I've always wanted to see our nation's capital. It's even more impressive in person. And I couldn't believe it but Jenny was even there. Even more surprising was that she didn't have another man's penis in her hand. She introduced me to her boyfriend. I slapped him around a bit to try and impress Jenny but she just got mad at me. I told her I wanted to be her boyfriend and she laughed. Always laughing. She told me that she'd always be my girl. Then she got on a bus with her abusive boyfriend and probably had sex with him.

Next.