It's an unfortunate fact of nature that there are two independent elements to the process of mate selection. The concepts of attracting/interesting someone and being a good relationship partner are vastly different, completely unrelated, and abilities thereto usually inversely proportionate. A man could be intellectual, witty, financially secure, emotionally available, kind-hearted, wise, and possessing of sperm that exclusively produces a race of SuperBabies, but if he can't demonstrate his worth within the confines of 10 seconds in a noisy bar, those potential SuperBabies will be scribbling their calculus equations on the back of a Kleenex.
Naturally, proving you're a good date to a stranger is impossible. The only way to really prove it would be to be on a date with someone else at the time of your proposal as an example, but this runs the risk of leading to A) an awkward confrontation or B) a fatal stabbing. In the absense of on-hand reference, a man must fall back on the most obvious second option: an elaborate charades game of gestures and loaded statements that tricks the woman into sticking around long enough to settle for you.
But just what gesticulations? Just which manipulative turns of phrase? This is the fog of ignorance into which so many men blindly stumble. If only there were a banner ad that could act as a beacon in this darkness.
Man, this is tough. Stumpy is of an indeterminate gender, but Stacy looks awfully down. I don't need this high maintenance bi-polar shit. Then again, Stumpy looks a lot like a potato, which may mean she has special storage requirements. I better check the Dating IQ test so I don't end up losing sleep over this.
I've heard that the most important thing in the dating world is to have confidence, so I'm confident I've done well. The questions weren't too tough, and I think I'm a pretty keen fellow. It's just basic human interaction, after all. How hard can that be?
Your dating skills are AVERAGE!
You scored a 68 out of a possible 100 points.
Dammit! Now I'll only score with 68 out of every 100 ladies. Nuts to that! I'd better read on to find out what's going on here.
You’re pretty good with the ladies, but you can be intimidated by a woman who is exceptionally attractive. There are some women out there that you consider to be “out of your league”.
Sometimes when you see a woman you’d like to approach you become immobilized with fear, and by the time you figure out what to say, she's gone…
There have probably been several times in your life when a woman lost interest in you, and you just couldn’t figure out why. Maybe she gave you her phone number and then didn’t return your calls, or maybe you went out on a few dates with her and things seemed to be going good, when all of a sudden she became mysteriously unavailable.
You might wonder why some of the women you are attracted to don’t feel the same way, when all of your female friends tell you how lucky any girl would be to have you.
These are problems that almost all guys run into at one time or another, but very few men know exactly what to do to prevent these things from happening in the first place.
These are problems that many guys have, but very few know how to actually solve.
The good news is that you can learn to attract these exceptional women... and even have them chasing you for dates!
Wow! All my problems solved in one easy package! This speaks to my interests as a consumer. But wait a minute. This sounds almost like a ... a ... sales pitch! My God, the banner! The invitation to determine my "Dating I.Q".! It was all a clever ruse! Argh, I know when I have been bested in intellectual combat. Alright David DeAngelo, you have earned my grudging respect.
As a lengthy investigative probe would later reveal, this is all in fact an attempt to sell something called "Double Your Dating" by one David DeAngelo. DeAngelo is a high-profile member of the "seduction community", which is something like the "flamewar community" or the "erotic Rugrats fanart community" in that you could go your whole life without knowing it existed, but if you happen to stumble upon it, you suddenly feel very sad. As a card-carrying member of the Seductionati, DeAngelo has dedicated his life to making a science out of getting into women's pants. And now you can too!
The term "seduction community" does tend to call to mind those creepy "sexual hypnosis" people or the guys who think working "below me" into a sentence during a date but saying it kind of fast will subconciously convince a woman that she should blow you. But I have full faith this DeAngelo character is totally on the level and can tell me all the hot tips that will make women chase me down and rip off my clothes like rabid wolverines. After all, the man has a website. They don't just hand those out.
The first step in doubling my dating is finding out all the places I screwed up earlier that was leading me to only single, or perhaps even fraction my dating. Let's look over that test again.
1. Three attractive women are standing a few feet from you at a local bar. You want to start an interesting conversation with them that gets their attention. What's the best way to start it?
- Ask them what their astrological signs are.
- Say "Hey, you are the three most beautiful women in here, can I buy you a drink?"
- Tell them you need a woman's opinion, then ask them whether they think it's cool for older men to get together with younger women, like Michael Douglas with Catherine Zeta Jones.
- Walk straight up to the most attractive one and say "Can I have this dance?"
I picked D because -- and watch for this to quickly become a trend -- it's the least retarded of the four. It's also horribly unoriginal, and more importantly I am legally prohibited from attempting to dance. But what else can I do? A is limited to greasy salesmen from Cliche City waiting out a layover in an airport bar, and for B you might as well just say "I've got a lot of people to hit tonight, so I've gotta start taking you on in groups". And C ... well let's not be silly.
The Answer:
Even if you don't have a lot of experience approaching women, you can guess that most have heard lines A, B and D dozens of times before... and probably dozens of times that night.
See, I know what I'm talking about.
The best answer is C.
Goddammit!
Asking their opinion about a current relationship trend is original, andshows them that you're in touch with what's going on.
And most importantly, it opens up the floor for all kinds of great conversion.
In fact, after approaching a group of women with this topic, I'd be surprised if any one of them let you walk away without giving you her opinion on it.
Use it.
Well, it is original, I'll give him that. Other openers that are equally original:
- Ask "Does this look infected?"
- Invite them to spend a night in your haunted mansion; promise winner payout of one million SexBux™
- Introduce yourself as president of Russia; piss on their feet
- Ask if any of them have seen Patrick Duffy come by; answer any response with "GOTTA FIND DUFFY"
Perhaps I'm being too jaded to automatically regard a random stranger approaching with a random question as having some kind of ulterior motive. (Actually, I'm not, because said random stranger does have an ulterior motive, but whatever.) Still, I don't think this is the kind of issue in which men are expected to be in touch with what's going on. It's like approaching a group of women and asking whether the Diva Cup is a good alternative to tampons.
2. You're out on a date with a woman that you feel really attracted to. You can't tell if she likes you or not. What's the best way to find out?
- Ask her outright "Am I your type?".
- Kiss her.
- Put out one of your hands and see if she gives you hers.
- Say "You really have the hots for me" in a playful voice, and see how she responds.
E. Pay more attention? These are all either wormy or too overt. I guess... D?
The Answer:
While Answers B and C aren't bad, D is clearly the best.
YOU FORCED ME INTO IT
Joking with a woman this way says all the right things, and instantly lets her know that she's dealing with someone who "gets it".
"Am I Your Type" is a question you should NEVER ask a woman... because as soon as you do...
You're not her type anymore!
Asking a woman a question like this tells her that you have ZERO confidence in yourself.
Think about it... would a confident, successful guy ever ask a woman if he was her type?
Absolutely not... because he would already know the answer...
It doesn't matter!
The only thing that matters with a woman is whether or not you can create that gut-level feeling of attraction inside of her.
When you know how to make a woman FEEL ATTRACTION for you, it doesn't matter if your short, fat, bald, etc... she'll pick out the things she DOES like about you... and ignore the rest.
God, you can smell the romance. On the plus side, I'm finally going to learn how to get women to ignore my stump.
And here's the good news... making women feel attraction is a skill that ANY guy can learn.
Read on.
See? Dave knows it: Like I said before, having confidence is the number one most important thing when going out on dates. This is why you should phrase anything you're uncertain about as a cop-out bullshit "joke" so if it doesn't go your way, you can immediately yell "Just kidding!" and pretend nothing happened. Taking a stand is a sucker's game! This actually works in all sorts of situations:
"Your sister's single again so I guess we should have a threesome. ...Just kidding!"
"I bet what you really want for Christmas is fake tits the size of my head. ...Just kidding!"
"I knew your dog was getting old so I shot him and bought you a puppy. ...Just kidding! But seriously, you should probably stop looking for your dog. Also, I found a puppy".
Try out other variants, such as "nahhhhh" or saying "jusplayin" so fast it sounds like you sneezed, to mix things up and keep it interesting. There's a whole world of deniability out there for you to explore! Just kidding!
3. You're talking to a cute girl that you just met in line at the bank. She's funny and playful with you. You want to get her phone number. Which is the best way to do it?
- Ask her if she'd like to go out on a date with you sometime.
- Glance at her bank papers to find out what her name is. Later, look her number up in the phone book.
- Ask her what her favorite restaurant is, then offer to take her there.
- Say "Give me your phone number... here's a pen".
Well, the question says I want a phone number, and there are only two options that actually involve a phone number. And one of those is clearly a poor decision. So the answer is B.
The Answer:
Getting a woman's phone number is no big deal, and there's no reason to make it so.
You don't have to offer to take her on a date... and you don't have to "bribe her" by offering to take her to her favorite restaurant.
Here's the deal...
An attractive woman can get a free dinner any time she wants. But finding a confident and powerful man is an entirely different story.
So be a man. Tell her to give you her number.
Oh, and if you ever get the urge to look up a girl's number in the phone book, do yourself a favor.
While you have the book out, turn to the "Psychiatrists" section.
There are people you can talk to about this. Really.
Oh ho! Dave bringing the creepy guy laffs! Now let's get back to systematically breaking down how to handle all facets of interacting with women.
I guess the message here is that if you tell a woman to give you her number rather than ask for it, she will be more likely to obey your command while bypassing whether she actually wants to give you her phone number or not. This is while also ignoring how short, fat and bald you are. Psychologically speaking, there is truth to this: Imagine you're in line when Danny DeVito comes up and asks for your number. Then imagine he tells you to give him your number. You see? You only laughed half as long the second time.
I think it's about time I start trying to apply the wealth of wisdom I've already gained in my daily life. Now, I never go outside because I have self-diagnosed assburgers, so I'll have to try my skills on somebody I can find on AIM.
Basher Lemming: hello
Roxymoron87: hi Bill.
Basher Lemming: how are things
Roxymoron87: not too shabby, just dicking around before I have to go to class.
Basher Lemming: cool cool
Basher Lemming: GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Basher Lemming: DO IT NOW
Basher Lemming: HERE'S A PEN
Basher Lemming:
Roxymoron87: . . .er?
Basher Lemming: I COMMAND IT
Roxymoron87: k
Basher Lemming: ...
Basher Lemming: catherine zeta jones likes some old dick, what are your feelings on this
Progress in action, folks!
4. You're out with a woman for the first time, and you're having a cup of coffee with her. She looks at you square in the eye and says "So, what kind of car do you drive?". What's the best way to answer?
- "I drive a 1976 Ford Pinto station wagon. Yellow. Why, what do you drive?"... all in an overly-serious, sarcastic tone.
- Tell her what you really drive.
- Say "Can't you think of something more interesting to ask me? What is this, an interview?"
- Laugh and say "I don't drive... my mom gives me rides everywhere".
With all that knowledge of the inner sanctum of womanly secrets, I guess there isn't a lot of room left to know about comedy. I'm going to assume he meant "deadpan" rather than "sarcastic" here. Unless he really expects you to say "Ohhh, I drive a Ford Pinto, what do yooouuu drive??"
I'll say B. Normally I might go for a joke, but his suck.
The Answer:
When a woman asks you a "routine" question like this, it's the PERFECT opportunity for you to separate yourself from every other guy she's met.
Many guys would take this opportunity to brag about what kind of car they have. Others might show a lack of confidence by acting apologetic about driving a car that's not "hip".
By throwing a sarcastic answer back at her (Answers 1 and 4), you show her that you have a good sense of humor, and you avoid coming off as an insecure guy who actually cares what she thinks.
Okay, so he thinks more of his jokes than I do, but we're more or less on the same page. I don't think there's much to--
But... with Answer 3, you can REALLY take it to the next level by calling her on asking you a routine and boring question.
Doing this clearly demonstrates a few things:
- You don't "seek approval" or try to impress women
- You aren't impressed by material possessions, and you subtly look down on her for judging people by them
- You date a lot of women, and don't have time for a woman who is anything less than exceptional!
Most importantly, this subtly communicates that YOU are the selector, and YOU are the one who is sizing HER up and deciding if you're interested in pursuing the relationship.
This type of communication shoots straight to the pulse of a woman's attraction mechanisms, and lets her know right away that there is just "something about you"... and she'll stop at nothing to find out more.
Now that's what I'm talking about...
Yes, I think that's what we're all talking about. Write it down fellas, because this is advice you can take to the bank. Nothing gets a chick wetter than when you "subtly look down on her".
So, what do you do for a living?
What the fuck do you care, gold digger? I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU
There certainly is "something about" that young man! I'll stop at nothing to find out more!
5. You're on the phone for the first time with a stunning model that you met through a friend at a small party. You've talked for a few minutes, and you want to ask her out on a date. What's the best way to do it?
- Say "Hey, I'm busy today and tomorrow, but let's get together for a cup of Starbucks on Wednesday. We can meet for fifteen minutes, and if you're psycho, I can run away".
- Tell her that you really want to take her out, and offer to pick her up and take her to one of the nicer restaurants in your area.
- Ask her in a friendly, casual way if she's be interested in going on a date with you, then, if she says yes, invite her to have dinner with you.
- Tell her that you've been thinking of her a lot since you met her, and ask her if she's been thinking of you. If she says "yes", ask her if you can take her to dinner sometime soon.
Three bland answers and one flippant ass answer. My powers of deductive reasoning have led me to A.
The Answer:
First of all, before you take a woman on a "date", I think you should ask yourself WHY you're thinking of taking a woman on a "date".
"Buttsex"?
When you ask a woman out on a "date", it says a lot of things all at once...
It says that you've already made up your mind that you like her, are interested in pursuing her romantically, and are willing to invest your time and money to demonstrate that to her.
Even worse,
Worse?
most guys ask women out on dates because they feel that they need to offer a woman something in exchange for her time and attention. Asking a woman on a date is usually a way of MANIPULATING a woman into going out with you. It's basically saying to her "I'm not confident that you'd enjoy spending time with me just to spend time with me, so I'm going to throw free dinner into the deal, hoping it will persuade you". This is a form of giving your power away, which, as I mentioned, is usually a fatal mistake.
Woman. I beckon thee to bask in my presence from the hours of eight of the clock to ten of the clock. Fleeting amusements such as 'dinner' or 'entertainment' should not concern you.
Dare I??
I really believe that until you have learned how to keep your power for yourself with new women that you meet, it's best to stick to coffee or tea for "dates". When you say to a woman "meet me for a cup of tea and some conversation", it communicates a very different message. It says, in effect "It's just gonna be you and me and our conversation".
Now, if the tea and conversation is enjoyable, and you want to spend more time with her, ask her to go shopping with you. I think that malls, alternative "hip" areas of town with lots of shops, and outdoor markets are FANTASTIC places to go with women. There's a lot of variety, and the conversation is almost built in. There are lots of chances to laugh, have fun, and enjoy yourself... which is what women want far more than free food.
Not a single dating tip goes by where David doesn't insist that you avoid dates in restaurants at all cost. True, dinner dates are uninspired to say the least, but I think we've touched upon a deeper issue. I think David DeAngelo can't masticate in front of other people. This explains so much.
6. You're walking down the street, and you come to a street corner where a beautiful woman is standing. You really want to talk to her and see if she's single and interesting. What's the best way to do it?
- Tell her you're lost and ask for directions.
- Compliment her on her looks, then ask her if she is married or has a boyfriend.
- Say "What's a beautiful woman like you doing in a place like this?".
- Casually say "I realize that most men probably judge you on your looks and think you're unapproachable... but I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt and see if you're friendly".
B seems pretty simple and straightforward. It also doesn't involve being an arrogant shit, so it won't be correct.
The Answer:
A lot of guys come to me and ask "How can I approach a woman without her thinking that I'm trying to pick her up?". Of course, I always shake my head when I hear this kind of thing.
DUH! Give me a break... like any attractive woman you talk to is going to think ANYTHING other than "He's trying to pick me up". Cummon.
Except when he asks me about Michael Douglas' dating habits, then I know he just really wants to talk about current events.
What most guys never realize is that most of the other guys who have approached that attractive woman did basically the SAME THINGS... and that those things didn't work. In other words, probably 300 of the 300 guys who approached her in the last week tried some corny pick up line, asked her if she had a boyfriend in a "you're so beautiful and you'd probably never date a loser like me" tone of voice, gave her a compliment about her looks hoping that she'd ask THEM out, or some equally vomit-able lame technique.
So do something COMPLETELY different. Approach her with the attitude that YOU are the one giving her a chance to prove herself, as demonstrated in Answer D. There's no better way to immediately set you apart from the rest of the loser guys she's met that day.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach (BUT NO EATING FOR GOD'S SAKE), but the quickest way to a woman's heart is through open hostility. See, all guys have tried to be nice to hot women. That shit is played. What you need to do is walk up to the first attractive woman you see and just smack her right across the face. That lets her know you mean business. If she won't jump your bone right there, she's probably a dyke.
Here's some dating advice that you don't have to sign up to a newsletter for: You can be nice to a woman without being Goddamn Droopy. Yes, if you are being that meek and talking to women only waiting for them to ask you out, you're not going to get anywhere. You do have to man up and take the first step, but that step doesn't have to be on her Goddamn head.
7. You've been out on a first date for three hours with a woman that you feel very attracted to. You think she likes you, but you can't quite tell for sure. You want to kiss her, but you're not getting any "signals". What should you do?
- Ask her if she would mind if you kissed her.
- Say "Are you as attracted to me as I am to you?".
- Reach over and stroke her hair, see how she responds... if she seems to like it, kiss her.
- Tell her to close her eyes, and then kiss her lips gently.
E. Pay more attention? Didn't we have this question already? Alright, let's assume she really is hard to sort out. And let's assume you just REALLY CAN'T WAIT for all that kissing. So much kissing. Then.. C, I guess. The first two are wimpy again and the last one belongs to a guy who collects Precious Moments figurines.
The Answer:
I used to have no idea if a woman was ready to be kissed.
I could be sitting there talking to her, thinking to myself "Wow, her lips really look nice..". but I didn't know what to do next. This would often leave me kissless, and many times kissless for good, as I didn't get another chance.
I think David DeAngelo might actually be T-Rex.
Here's what I do now:
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it.
If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be kissed.
By using "The Kiss Test" I've been kind and complimentary, but by being very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to. I now have a way of knowing if she's ready to be kissed that NEVER gets me rejected-and I know within 5 minutes what it used to take me hours or days to figure out...
I guess this isn't a criticism, because it's likely a failing on my part, but I don't know that I could ever get the words "Your hair looks so soft" to come out of my mouth convincingly. It's just such a fucking Anakin Skywalker thing to say. But after all this back and forth about just the right things to say to women to avoid looking like any of the thousands of other gangly oafs she has encircling her at any given moment, "your hair looks so soft" is the line to go with? Really?
8. You've just met an attractive woman at a local coffee shop, and she gave you her number and email address. You really thought she was beautiful, interesting, and funny. How should you follow up with her?
- Call her a few hours later on the phone and tell her how much you liked her, and then ask her out for later that evening.
- Wait a day or two, then call to say hi. Talk a few minutes, then tell her you have to go. Hang up without making any future plans.
- Call the number right there in front of her to make sure it's real. If it is, call her a couple days later with your Caller ID blocked so she doesn't know it's you, and when she answers ask her out for a drink.
- Wait three days, then call and ask her out on a date for the next night.
This is the most tiring and eye-rolling aspect of this whole dating business. So much energy expended on whether to call this day or that day or this time or that time. Call when you feel like, Goddammit. Okay, if you what you feel like is a few hours later, then you might be a little over-anxious, but beyond that fuck it.
The Answer:
If you answered A, you just might be scaring off women by coming on too strong with them.
If you answered C, you need to realize that women these days just don't find "stalker-like" behavior to be cute.
B and D both seem like solid answers, but one actually ten times better than the other. Read on to find out why...
David's being silly here, of course; you don't need to worry about blocking Caller ID until you've begun to aggravate and/or frighten her with your repeated calls, which should take five to ten days depending on how committed you are. Then it's on to the payphones. If you've maintained a good stride you should hit breaking and entering by the third week, and dressing up like an old woman and pretending to be the new housekeeper so you can rifle through her underwear drawer while she's at work by the end of the month. This is the point where you can begin to mark various things in the house with your own emissions so as to ward off potential rivals.
9. You had a first date with a woman. It went well. At the end you kissed her for a few minutes, and there was some chemistry in the air. She had to get to bed because she had a meeting at seven the next morning. How should you follow up?
- Send red roses to her work, with a note that says "I had fun last night, you are a very special lady".
- Call her the next morning early, to make sure she's awake for her meeting... and tell her you had a good time. While you're on the phone, ask her out on another date.
- Wait until the next night, then call her to say hi. Talk a few minutes, then hang up without asking her out again.
- Wait three days, then call her. When she answers, say hi, talk for a few minutes, then ask her out on another date for the weekend at a nice restaurant... to show her that you're "seriously interested".
Oh God, A all the way. That is smooth. Nevermind the roses, how many times does a woman get called a "special lady" these days? "Hot chick," sure, but not special lady. Faint, slightly anachronistic praise will charm a woman like no other. If you're really into her, send a heart-shaped box of chocolates with a note that says she's a "swell gal".
The Answer:
Ya know, it pains me every time I hear about a guy doing something along the lines of Answers C and D. That's because usually when I hear about it, it's from one of my female friends... who's asking me for advice on how to get rid of him.
These are both great examples of how guys can screw up a good thing by coming on too strong. People are attracted to what they can't have... and this is especially true when it comes to attractive women.
By "bulldozing" her the next day with roses, or even a phone call and a date request, in her mind she's "got you"... and you're automatically classified with the rest of the "loser" guys who are lined up to drool over her.
This all stretches back to our prehistoric ancestry when women were hunters and men stayed home gathering berries. Except that one dude who just rode around on his velociraptor and smoked a lot, he got a lot of ass.
Man, keeping up with everything you're supposed to do and not supposed to do just to keep a woman interested is tiring. It's like one of those races where you have to balance an egg on a spoon the whole time, except you want the egg to fuck you. So... yeah, exactly like those spoon races.
On the other hand, if you make yourself a challenge, you'll completely stand out from the crowd... and believe me, she'll take notice.
Now, a lot of guys are very good at "faking it"... that is, "pretending" to be a challenge when in reality they are completely crazy over a woman.
Well guess what?
Attractive women have SO MUCH experience with men that 9 times out of 10 they can tell exactly when you are faking it and when you're not.
This is getting a little deep here, but bear with me...
Take Answer D for example. A lot of guys will wait it out for 3 whole days before calling, because they want to "play it cool" and not seem too interested.
Nothing wrong with that... but... then they'll do something like ask her out to a nice restaurant to show her that their "seriously interested".
What do you think that says to a woman?
It tells that you waited 3 days JUST TO WAIT!
It tells her that you really are interested, but you tried to manipulate her into thinking you weren't by waiting 3 days to call... and then you go and blow your own cover by asking her out to a nice restaurant.
I know this sounds a little complex, but not to women. They are masters at these situations, and they always know exactly what's going on.
So if you're gonna try to fake it, don't do it the same way every other guy does.
So what do you do instead? Try Answer 3. Call her a couple of days later, say your hellos... then end the conversation WITHOUT asking her out again.
Ha ha! Denied, bitch! Another victory for me! Welp, time to jerk off.
Doing this will build MASSIVE curiosity in a woman. On one hand, she'll think you're interested because you called. On the other hand, she'll wonder if you really are interested, because you didn't ask her out again.
And she'll keep on wondering until she talks to you again.
This is a guaranteed way to build up powerful feelings of anticipation, excitement, and ATTRACTION in a woman. And that's a good thing.
You don't want to do good things for her, are you retarded? Listen: Call her after three days. Talk ten minutes, then tell her there's a Price is Right you want to see coming on and hang up. This lets her know that she ranks just below daytime TV in your mind. If you can work something into the phone call about thinking she's kind of ugly, all the better. Two days after that, call back and tell her you've got nothing better to do so you want to take her out. Let the awkward silence as she waits for you to say where fill the air between you and begin to crush her spirit. You don't want her getting too feisty. When she starts to make her own suggestion, cut in and tell her that you're going to a bar called Skeeter's that is actually just open pallets of warm beer in an abandoned warehouse out by the pier where those murders happened. Casually warn her that you will cut and run without her if a knife fight breaks out.
She is an attractive woman who could possibly be moderately discerning about who she dates, so you've really got to beat that sense of entitlement out of her. You may be short, fat and bald, but you're short, fat and bald that she can't have, and that's going to drive her nuts. Let's be honest, you're clearly the best thing that has happened to this woman. Make her work for it.
Then fall in love.
10. You met a girl in line at the grocery store, and your conversation led to her joining you for a cup of coffee right then and there. The conversation was interesting and fun. You called her the next day to say hi, but you got her voicemail, and she didn't call you back. It's been two days since then. What should you do?
- Blow her off. A woman who doesn't return phone calls is flakey anyway.
- Call her again, and if she answers, don't even mention that she never called you back. Proceed as you would normally, and proceed to ask her to coffee again sometime.
- Call when you think she won't be home, and leave her another message asking her to call you.
- Call her in the evening when she's likely to be home, and ask her point blank why she didn't return your call.
E. Lock yourself in the closet sobbing openly while listening to Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me set to repeat on your iPod
The Answer:
I used to blow women off if they didn't call me back after I left a message, but now I usually give them one more chance.
Here's why: Women are flaky. Not deliberately... they just don't consider flaking on a date or not returning a phone call to be outside the bounds of common social courtesy.
Is this something they've decided as a group? How do they coordinate these things?
And unfortunately, it's going to happen to every guy once in a while. (There are things you can do to decrease the chances, but that's an entirely different issue).
The important thing here is that when you do call her again, DON'T EVEN MENTION that she didn't return your first phone call. Mentioning it shows that you CARED that she didn't call you back... and women will look at that as a sign of neediness.
Not good.
Instead, try her again a few days later (not that same night, jackass). When she answers, play it cool, and proceed exactly as though nothing happened. Because to her, it wasn't a big deal that she didn't return your call. So don't make it one.
Now, knowing what to do when a woman doesn't call you back is only a small piece of the puzzle.
You obviously need to know how to get a woman to be interested enough to give you her number in the first place before she can NOT take return your call!
Well, as you can probably imagine, I've spent a lot of years now figuring out how to become the kind of guy that women want to be around.
I've spent a lot of time watching guys who are what you might call "Naturals" with women.
I've spent a lot of time trying out just about every imaginable idea and strategy with women...
And guess what?
Most of them SUCKED.
Most of them didn't work.
Most of them felt strange and manipulative.
Most of them were just plain not good.
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And it goes on from there.
Allow me to summarize pretty much anything you'll get out of this program and save you a couple hundred dollars. (Though you're free to contribute any of those savings to me.) Women are humans. Humans are dumb animals. Dumb animals get bored. Their minds are trained to filter out the things they see and hear on a regular basis so they're not constantly getting distracted by the sounds of crickets chirping or the sight of a big glowing ball in the sky. So don't be boring. Don't do the things that seem the most obvious or the easiest because those are the things that everyone else will do first. Try to imagine what it's like in her position, and pick out which things don't seem appealing from that perspective. Think about people in your life who have been interesting or exciting or magnetic and examine why you found them to be so. Realize that being assertive is not a bad thing, but is also not the same as arrogance.
And don't be a prick, for God's sake. Yes, some women are attracted to assholes. Then they're hurt by assholes. Then they complain about assholes. If you don't want the relationship to last and you happen to be a moral vacuum, then maybe that will work for you. Otherwise, manage a basic balance of knowing and standing for what you want without going so far as to steamroll people with it. Be the kind of person you'd want to hang out with.
And call her a special lady. I'm serious.
