"Buffy
the Vampire Slayer" lasted seven seasons on WB and UPN, and
was a personal favorite of mine throughout it's run. Listed here
are my 25 favorite moments in the history of the show (subjective,
of course). Obviously there are some spoilers thrown around and
honestly you'll get more of a kick out of the list if you're a fan,
so if you're just waiting for season seven to come out on DVD before
beginning your Buffy shipperhood, stop now. Otherwise, get to know
the show from my point of view...five feet above the ground and
mired deeply in slash fiction.
Enjoy!
25. Scooby
Gangbang
Episode: "The Replacement"
Season: Five
Airdate: October 10, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Anya was an experiment held onto for
too long. Emma Caulfield was an actress who got five years out of
what should have been a one-time guest spot, solely because Joss
Whedon liked her. That being said, when she was on, she was on.
The basic crux of Anya's character is that she was a wish-granting
demon for several millennia, and then got stuck in the body of an
18 year old girl. So she spent the rest of the series trying to
figure out how to properly BE a young girl, always with semi-hilarious
consequences. The arc got old after a while, but the fact remains
that, "Quiet! You'll miss the hilarious conclusion!" is
one of the funniest lines in the history of the show.
In this particular episode, Xander is accidentally spliced into
two people, one with all of his strongest qualities, and one with
all of his weakest. The episode doesn't really exist for any reason
other than a guest appearance by Nick Brendan's twin brother, Kelly.
The humor shows up, strips naked, and makes us all slightly uncomfortable,
when Anya, Xander's girlfriend, is confronted with the dueling love
muffins, and is hit with an uncontrollable urge to have sex with
them both at one time. This is actually one of B's favorite moments
ever, both because he loved Anya, and because he himself has the
slightly unnerving desire to watch twins make out. As his girlfriend
I'm not sure how to satisfy this particular desire, but my Mom thinks
I look like Molly Holly, so maybe someday. . .
24. Don't
Cross the Boss
Episode: "Angel"
Season: One
Airdate: April 14, 2025

Why it deserves to be
on the list: I stand by the fact that there was no better character
on Buffy the Vampire Slayer than first season Angel, before Boreanaz
got chunky, and way before he learned to act. Every time Angel showed
up, all squinty and stilted, there was quality. In this, the sixth
episode of the first season, Angel's vampirism is first revealed
to us. Up to this point, he'd just kind of wandered around being
hunky mysterious guy. God, someone read that last sentence's structure,
and tell me I wasn't completed influenced by this show in high school.
And then explain to me why I should rethink being a writer.
Anyway, this episode as a whole is important not only to the season-long
story arc (gee, remember those Whedon?), but to the entire season
and large parts of the "Angel" spin-off. It deserves to
be on the list for that last indelible image of the cross, given
to Buffy by Angel himself, burned into his chest after he kisses
her. This was back when the show had some subtlety, and they weren't
dropping anvils on your head screaming, "SEE?? THIS RELATIONSHIP
IS NOT GOING TO WORK! THE CROSS IS SYMBOLIC OF THE GOOD THAT BUFFY
REPRESENTS!! IT REJECTED ANGEL!! THEIR LOVE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE!!
DUUUUUUUR!!! Then Angel started to question is faith, so he began
hanging out with the Jewish girl and a cripple. Then Mandy Moore
CRASHED HER VAN INTO JE-SUS!! God Damnit.
23. The
Greatest Love of All
Episode: "The Puppet Show"
Season: One
Airdate: May 5, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: For her part in the talent show, Cordelia
Chase decides to perform the Whitney Houston 80's standard "The
Greatest Love of All." Anyone born in the last twenty-five
years can tell you that the best and worst part of the American
school system is the "assembly." The assembly is a mixed
bag filled mostly, honestly, with peppy teens who refuse to smoke.
But when talent show time came around you could count on at least
one girl to sing "Greatest Love of All." It's as predictable
as the tide. I went to public school from K-12 and I swear to God
I heard it performed at least ten of those years.
This is a great example of how early Buffy tapped into the youth
of America in a sincere way, showing that Joss Whedon could really
connect with this generation long before he was trying to get Dawn
saying "bee-yotch" over as legitimate teen slang. But
then again, the first episode ever featured Buffy and Cordelia talking
about how hot James Spader is, so who the hell knows.
22. Giles.
. . With a Chainsaw
Episode: "Fear, Itself"
Season: Four
Airdate: October 26, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: For an episode that was largely a retread
of Season One's "Nightmares," this is actually one of
the best from the entire season. The Scooby Gang all get dressed
up and go to a Halloween party being held in a frat house which,
unsurprisingly, has been possessed by some sort of Voodoo mojo jibba-jabba.
Once inside, the house shuts itself up and everyone inside begins
to hallucinate their worst fear. The premise is telling, if slightly
flawed. Xander becomes invisible to his friends, Oz can't control
his lycanthropy, Willow is overpowered by her magic (hint hint foreshadow
foreshadow), and Buffy. . . is attacked. . . by corpses. . . in
a basement. . . or something.
When Anya (who hilariously shows up in a bunny suit, after being
told to wear, "something scary") shows up late and is
unable to get into the house, she figures out that something is
up and runs to get help from the most logical of choices, Giles.
When he arrives, he decides to counteract the impenetrable frat
house not with any sort of spell or talisman, but with a chainsaw.
This leads to the brilliant backlit shot of Giles cutting through
a wall, all kick ass Leatherface style.
21. Xander's
watch
Episode: "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date"
Season: One
Airdate: March 31, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Back when Xander had a crush on Buffy
things were simpler. You could get behind the uneasy, impetuous
outcast who liked himself just enough to think he was capable of
something better. In this episode he sees Buffy impressed by another
boy's fancy watch, so he checks his own, and it's a plastic Tweety
Bird watch. *snort*
A completely different kind of humor than Buffy's normal "I
GOT THE WIGGINS GUYS" type of forced melodramedy and Xander's
"Could I BE anymore Chandler" hilarious observation cadence.
The only thing that could've made this sadder and more funny is
if Xander showed up the next day with one of those T-shirts with
the Tasmanian Devil and Bugs Bunny dressed like Kris Kross on the
front.
20. Cave
Buffy Go Boom
Episode: "Beer Bad"
Season: Four
Airdate: November 2, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Okay, I know. This is a terrible episode.
It's a dumb premise, with a preachy, beat-you-over-the-head message.
I know I know I know. Drop the chalupa. Let me sum up the plot for
you: College guys get Buffy drunk and they all turn into cave people
because the beer was tainted by the guy who I thought played Tom
in "Office Space," but didn't. He was however in "Leprechaun
in the Hood."
This is on the list solely for the moment (sadly not pictured above,
despite my best efforts) when Cave Buffy spins herself round and
round and round in her desk chair, and then falls down. Why is this
hilarious to me? I don't know. I think it's because Smudge so rarely
did such blatant physical comedy. She's not Lizzie Maguire, she
didn't pratfall to make herself more endearing. So to see something
as dumb as, "Wheee. . . *bonk*" just cracks me up, every
freakin' time I see it. Then Cave Buffy has to rescue people from
a fire and starts hitting guys with sticks, and I'm less impressed.
19. Starring
Jonathan
Episode: "Superstar"
Season: Four
Airdate: April 4, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Anyone who was a fan of the show at
this point was excited by the idea of this episode. Jonathan, little
more than a glorified extra until season three, served no real purpose
other than to stand around the halls of Sunnydale High being a short
nerd. Then he started getting the occasional speaking role. Then
there was the ACK POST-COLUMBINE TOO SOON TOO SOON episode "Earshot,"
which found Jonathan at the top of a clocktower with a semiautomatic,
ready to off himself. He walked a sad street, Jonathan. Then came
this episode, about how everyone loved him. He solved all the problems,
fought all the crime, and went home to a mansion and some overly
buxom twins.
It was all done through magic, of course. And the plot was spoiled,
of course. And at the end of the episode when Jonathan tells Buffy
that he basically just did it so he could have friends, she still
just blows him off and walks away. This I feel is the first time
we see Whedon and Co. completely forget who their characters are,
the crux of which is in season seven when Xander spends all his
time harping on Andrew for being a nerd, forgetting completely that
HE HIMSELF WAS A NERD AND THAT'S WHY HE EXISTS ON THIS SHOW AT ALL.
GOD.
So, the episode itself was kind of a letdown. But it still gets
a spot on the list for the opening credits, which remain hilarious.
Take your standard Buffy credit sequence, mix with Nerf Herder,
add a pinch of Jonathan looking brute in a trenchcoat, and what
do you get? The 19th spot on our countdown, of course.
. . hah, that was me, trying to write like I work for Vh1. Read
the whole thing in Rachel Perry voice, it'll be funnier.
18. Cordelia's
dead. Not.
Episode: "Lovers Walk"
Season: Three
Airdate: November 24, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: In this episode, Spike returns to Sunnydale
after being dumped by his longtime love Druscilla. Drunk and heartbroken,
he robs the magic shop, gives Buffy and Angel a pretty fatalistic
soliloquy that ends in Angel going to spin-off heaven, kidnaps Willow
and Xander, and makes a hasty retreat. Had he just left after this
episode, the legacy of the Spike character would still be in tact,
the show might've been a little better towards the end, and people
wouldn't hate James Marsters so much now. He didn't, of course,
stay gone, and so the power of this episode, and Spike's lone appearance
in the third season, are tainted a bit.
Still, it has one of the best, "bait and switch" style
gags the show ever pulled. When Oz and Cordelia (the significant
others of Willow and Xander, respectively) show up to save the day,
they're both shocked to find their loves not in peril, but making
out. Which makes sense, of course, because when you're Xander and
have spent your entire life a loser, and then suddenly you get to
date the hottest girl in the world, you definitely want to jeopardize that for your nerdy
best friend you've been ignoring all your life. And when you're
Willow, and you've been invisible to every guy (including Xander)
your entire existence, EXCEPT for this one, cheating on him with
the unrequited crush is definitely the way to go. Angry face emoticon.
So, upon the revelation that the people they're dating are stupid
assholes, Cordy and Oz naturally want to make a hasty retreat. Cordelia
runs about halfway up the steps of the dilapidated warehouse they're
in, then they collapse and she heinously winds up with a pipe stuck
through her abdomen. Cut next to a funeral. The viewer's first reaction
is to morph into Mo'nique in a Pepsi commercial and shriek, "Oh
no they di'n't!" Then, two seconds later, you realize they
di'nt. Willow and Buffy walk past said funeral with a casual, "so
Cordelia's gonna be fine?" It works because this sort of gag
was so rarely done on Buffy. The Angel writers took the concept
and ran it deep, deep into the ground. But here, it was really well
done.
17. Walker,
Texas Ranger
Episode: "The Zeppo"
Season: Three
Airdate: January 26, 2026

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Xander was never my favorite character.
I never hated him, he was always just sort of around. Maybe it's
because I started watching the series in the third season, but all
of my favorite characters tend to be supporting, not core Scoobies.
Despite this, there's an odd tendency that Buffy has to make really
good Xander-centric episodes. They did it in season two with, "Bewitched,
Bothered, and Bewildered." They did it in the aforementioned,
"The Replacement," and they did it here. Granted, there
were also episodes that featured Xander romantically involved with
a giant praying mantis, a mummy, and Ashanti. But when you factor
in how many bad Buffy-centric episodes there were, his average isn't
bad.
The title of this episode comes from post-breakup Cordelia telling
Xander that he's the Zeppo Marx of the show's core group. The straight
man, doesn't contribute anything, and would eventually be phased
out. Xander's response to this is to borrow a vintage car, hang
out with some bullies/zombies, and then have his virginity taken
by a riled up Faith (the other Slayer, for you non-initiates). The
episode made the list here for one brief exchange between two of
his zombie buddies. After Xander and head zombie Jack dig up his
friend Bob (played by that big blonde guy who has been playing teenagers
in various projects for the entire span of your average 22 year
old's lifetime), there's hugging, some shaking off of dirt, and
then Bob asks that all important question: "'Walker, Texas
Ranger.' You been taping 'em?" To which Jack naturally responds,
"every ep."
16. The
Corner in Istanbul
Episode: "New Moon Rising"
Season: Four
Airdate: May 2, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Oz was my very favorite character. Bar
none. When he left the show, I was devastated. And to this day I
don't think they ever recovered the momentum of losing Oz, Angel,
and Cordy, then replacing them with Spike and fucking Tara. In this
episode Oz, after werewolf-cheating on Willow, returns to town thinking
that his condition has been cured. Much to his dismay, he finds
that his true love, his soulmate, his one and only that he forgave
for cheating on him, and traveled far across the world for. . .
has jumped off the straight wagon for a stuttering Wiccan. Also
there's the fact that Willow, the only person who could ever make
Oz feel any emotion anyway, acts as a trigger that makes him wolf-out
at any random time of the day. Which kinda sucks.
At the end of the episode, Oz decides that he's leaving again, and
it's sadly the last time we see him. Before he goes, he has one
last heartfelt conversation with Willow, in which she tells him
that she'll always be waiting for him. It's one of the only moments
that I ever felt any sympathy for Alyson Hannigan's character. And
it still makes me cry.
15. Death
by Fingernail
Episode: Becoming, Part One"
Season: Two
Airdate: May 12, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: There just aren't enough good Druscilla
moments mentioned thus far. And while murdering stupid-ass Kendra
the Vampire Slayer with her French manicure doesn't quite match
up to the time she spouted about how beautiful the stars were (while
staring at the ceiling), or the time she was just generally completely
fucking crazy, the truth of the matter is that at the end of this
episode, Kendra was dead. So Juliet Landau wins my long lasting
gratitude for that one.
In an unrelated note, there was a girl in my line at the movie theater
yesterday who looked exactly like the actress who played Kendra.
I was about to walk up to her, smack her clean across the face and
scream, "WHAT? ARE YOU TWO-STEPPIN' OR SOMETHIN'?" But
then I remembered that nobody else on earth can quote "Save
the Last Dance." And I also need to refrain from slappin' bitches
in public. Word.
14. Death
to the Annoying One
Episode: "School Hard"
Season: Two
Airdate: September 29, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Remember when Spike was cool? When all
he cared about was his crazy-ass girlfriend and killing people.
When he was all cheekbones and leather jacket, and didn't look like
an overly tanned middle aged surfer guy? I miss those days. I miss
when Spike wasn't righteous, when he wasn't pointlessly hanging
out with people who should've been trying to kill him, and when
he wasn't ruining the show by being constantly naked.
This episode is the first appearance of Spike and Dru. After some
typical, "we're bad asses, we cause havoc" flavor, Spike
returns to his warehouse hang out for some face time with The Anointed
One, a barely interesting leftover from the first season, worth
mentioning because he's a vampire with the body of a ten year old
boy. For a show that made fun of Anne Rice as much as this one did,
they certainly ripped her off. Anyway, after tiring of the boy's
blather, Spike decides to off him in one of the cooler death scenes
the show came up with. Rather than just staking him, Spike locks
him in a cage, thrusts him into the sunlight, and lets him burn.
It sets the tone for Spike to be a bad ass for the rest of the season,
even after Angel turns evil and Spike has to play second banana.
Which is why it was so sad in later seasons when Spike did nothing
but constantly refer to himself as "The Big Bad," and
occasionally get into fights. And while we're on the subject, someone
should explain to Marsters that he doesn't look cool when he's fighting.
His stunt guy does at times, but he himself does not. If you've
ever listened to the commentary track on the "Mallrats"
DVD, remember the part where Jason Lee makes fun of the one punch
he gets to throw, pointing out that he's already in his stance when
the scene starts? That's how Spike always looked.
13. Wesley
and Cordelia Kiss
Episode: "Graduation Day, Part Two"
Season: Three
Airdate: July 13, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Nobody liked Wesley when he was on this
show. Wesley was like first season Giles, done as a caricature.
He existed to be a foil to the cool, dad-like Giles character, but
the writers missed the point that Giles wasn't supposed to be cool
either. So his counter part just winds up being a pissy Dudley Do-Right
in an expensive suit. Despite this, the one thing that worked about
his character was his sorta creepy older guy crush on 18 year old
Cordelia. Despite it being pretty wrong and bothersome, both parties
managed to make the situation pretty funny.
The crux of the Creepy Crush came in the very last episode, when
everyone is fairly certain they're going to die painful deaths at
the hands of (Best. Character. Ever!) The Mayor, who has decided
to turn himself in to a giant demon and kill everyone. Figuring
they've got nothing to lose, Cordy and Wes decide to act on their
passions and share a kiss. Possibly the worst kiss in the history
of television. Awkward, wooden, and hard to watch, both actors manage
to take a bad sight gag, and make it funny. When they're done, it's
more than obvious that the two share affection no more.
12. Blind
Giles, Father of the Bride
Episode: "Something Blue"
Season: Four
Airdate: November 30, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Okay, I'll admit it. Despite my constant
pot banging about how much the Spike/Buffy relationship sucked and
ruined the show, I loved/was totally in anticipation for, this episode.
Why? Because once upon a time, I too wanted Spike and Buffy to hook
up. I know, it makes no sense. And now that it's happened I've seen
how bad an idea it is for a television show to begin pandering to
what the fans want. But, as I've previously confessed, I was reading
too much fan fic back then, and it seemed like a good idea. Then
again reading fan fic made me think having sex while hanging up
side down from a tree branch was possible, so we're not yet sure
how much damage has been caused.
In this episode, Willow (heartbroken over Oz) decides to do a spell
to make whatever she says come true. But she fucks it up, of course,
and winds up making Giles go blind, Xander become a demon magnet,
and Buffy and Spike fall in love and get engaged. In retrospect
it's kind of a dumb episode, but at the time it was absolutely one
of my favorites. To this day, it includes my favorite Giles moment
ever. After being blinded, and hit with the news that his ward illogically
thinks she's marrying a vampire, Giles has little to do but sit
on his couch looking upset. Trying to cheer him up, Buffy sits down
beside him and announces that she'd like him to walk her down the
aisle, as he's been more of a father to her than her real dad. The
acting at this moment by Anthony Stewart Head is just brilliant.
You see this wave of shock and emotion come over him, because he's
so touched by what she's said. Then, two seconds later, reality
kicks in and he goes back to harping about how wrong the entire
situation is. It's quick, but it's the highlight in an episode that
can now be looked upon as the downfall of the series.
11. I killed
my best friend.
Episode: "Storyteller"
Season: Seven
Airdate: February 25, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Andrew is a nerd and kind of gay. He
plays Dungeons and Dragons. Nothing great. Nothing that hasn't been
tread in Xander for seven years. But what is amazing about this
episode in total is that it happened in the middle of season seven,
a season when everyone decided to blandly break character or disappear
into a caricature of themselves, and then here's an episode about
comedy relief tertiary character and...well, it's really good. It
harkens back to the days when the show was character driven and
not merely a slave to the yearly arc. Oh no, the First Evil is going
to kill us all! Even though it can't touch anybody or be touched.
And now here's an evil preacher. And girls you just met MIGHT DIE!
And it sucks. And then here's this episode about a gay nerd who
prefers the Timothy Dalton James Bond and...well, it's really good.
It's like finding a really good purchase at a thrift store. You
might not think "Oh wow, that was the best find ever"
for more than a few days, but eventually when you need that fucking
shirt it'll be there for you, and Andrew was there for me. To be
my seventh season shirt. Andrew telling his camcorder about how
he deserves to die for killing his friend is easily the best ending
moment of any episode in the season. Yes, even better than Buffy
winning by making an intangible evil fall into a hole.
10. Buffy's
in Cleveland
Episode: "The Wish"
Season: Three
Airdate: December 8, 2025

Why it deserves to be
on the list: After having her nerdy boyfriend cheat on her, and
being impaled by a piece of rebar, Cordelia's not in the greatest
of moods. She somehow gleens that all of her recent problems could
have been avoided had Buffy never shown up in Sunnydale. When she
casually wishes such a thing, Anya (at this point still a wish-granting
genie demon thingy) makes it happen. Cordy finds herself in a Sunnydale
over run by Vampires. The Master (Season 1's major evil, played
by Neidermeyer from Animal House) has taken over, and no one is
allowed outside after dark. Xander and Willow are SEXY TEEN vampires,
Angel is chained up in Willow's basement, and Buffy is in Cleveland,
guarding a different hellmouth.
One of the last glimpses we see of this alternate universe (before
the day is inevitably saved so that the show could progress forward
in a non-"Dallas" capacity) is a huge melee in The Master's
warehouse (they all seem to have warehouses. Sunnydale is obviously
a city of industry.). Done in slow motion and intercut with shots
of Giles foiling the evil genie's plan, the entire cast is essentially
killed off in thirty seconds. Oz kills Willow. Xander kills Angel.
Buffy kills Xander. And then, right before everything is undone,
Buffy's neck is snapped by The Master. This was a more powerful
image at the time, as The Master actually DID kill Buffy in the
first season (Temporarily. By drowning.). Of course, since the episode
aired, Buffy has died and come back another five or six times, so
it's just something that happens. Like when the characters on the
show expressed boredom at having to save the world from apocalypse.
Again.
9. The
Status of Oz's Cousin
Episode: "Phases"
Season: Two
Airdate: January 27, 2026

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Oz finds out he's a werewolf but isn't
sure how he got to be that way. He remembers his baby cousin biting
him, so he calls and asks if the cousin is a werewolf. And sure
enough, yup, that's how it happened.
Absolute understated comedy gold. Seth Green is a real hero when
he isn't being a Knockaround Guy or being filled with the holy spirit
facetiously. And on a show full of convoluted origins, Oz's is a
breath of fresh wet animal air.
8. The
Mayor's To-Do List
Episode: "Bad Girls"
Season: Three
Airdate: February 9, 2025

Why it deserves
to be on the list: The Mayor is probably the most brilliant,
layered, consistently quality characters that the writers ever came
up with. Originally intended (as all the good characters are, it
seems) as only a guest star, Mayor Richard Wilkins III was thrust
into the role of central villain after the writers' original choice,
a sassy black vampire named Mr. Trick, didn't go over with audiences.
So on the one hand, we got a cool bad guy. On the other hand, this
is the first time the main evil for a season was something other
than a vampire. In fact, the vampires were little more than bumbling
henchmen to the Mayor. So it's kind of his fault we had to suffer
through Adam and Glory.
Everything the Mayor did throughout the season was gold. The trick
was that Harry Groener managed to convey menace in a character no
more menacing than Ned Flanders. It seemed very believable that
one moment he would be posing for pictures with Boy Scouts, and the next minute eating a box full of mystical spiders
and arranging live baby sacrifices for sewer dwelling demons. So
I put his to-do list on my list, because it's central in displaying
how a man who looks like he should own a bird seed store and gold
with your dad could possibly wind up one of (or maybe the) greatest
villain in a series rife with them.
7. Giles
in the kitchen
Episode: "Dead Man's Party"
Airdate: October 6, 2025
Season: Three (of course)

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Buffy sends her boyfriend to a Hell
dimension for x amount of years, so it bothers her and she runs
away. When she returns her friends are all happy to see her in their
own way, from Willow's stuttery hugs to Xander's COULD YOU BE ANYMORE
RETURNED FROM EXILE. But the best moment comes when Giles finds
out that she's back. He goes off into the kitchen and has a moment
there to himself where he smiles and moves his head just a little,
and it's beautiful. I really wanted Giles to be my father at one
point, but I guess it would've been uncomfortable when his unexplained
black booty call showed up from England for sex every twenty episodes.
6. Sunday
Episode: "The Freshman"
Airdate: October 5, 2025
Season: Four

Why it deserves
to be on the list: B and I both have a serious love of
Katherine Towne. Not that she's ever done a thing noteworthy besides
this one episode appearance, but she's pretty. And saucy. And even
though she got killed off in the fourth season opener, she would
up being much more interesting than Adam, Riley Finn, or any other
part of The Initiative. And while we're on the subject, who thought
that was a good idea anyway, to bring the military in? The people
who made Buffy were fantasy writers, they regularly admitted to
making up demon names based on the name of someone's dog spelled
backwards. And while of course, in a genre like this, there's going
to be suspension of disbelief, you kind of got the impression they
were just winging it, throwing in the occasional "AWOL"
or "ranking officer." Of course, living with the people
I live with, I have to hear constantly about how CTU would've handled
the situation, and how Jack Bauer would've totally fucked the demons
up with a dishrag. So I'm probably biased.
Anyway, Sunday. The basic premise of Sunday is that she's a young
vampire who, with her gang of other young vampires/teenager stereotypes,
kill off college freshmen who appear to be struggling with their
first weeks of college. And then they take their stuff. So no one
misses them, and it's assumed they just couldn't take it and went
home. Sunday didn't really do anything noteworthy, though her critique
on college wall art has made me flinch every time I see one of those
$3 prints of Van Gogh's "Starry Night." The thing that
made people like Sunday was because she showed up in that grey area,
when Vampires were sort of being moved to the back burner. No longer
were super bad characters like Darla and Angelus being created.
The vampires were just the underlings, they were hardly even scary.
Willow could kill them if she tried. Buffy, despite having vampire
slayer right there in her title, spent most of her time whatever
monster of the week had been thought up. It's sad, really. Because
if given the choice between watching Smudge's stunt double spar
with Kung Fu vampires or a guy in a rubber suit, I'm picking the
Kung Fu vampires every time.
5. Danse
Macabre
Episode: "Hush"
Airdate: December 14, 2025
Season: Four

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Possibly the best technical episode
of Buffy ever, "Hush" was the only thing to ever wrangle
Joss Whedon the Emmy nomination he so desperately sought. The episode
circled around a very creepy, "Dark CIty"esque group of
baderosos called the Gentlemen. The Gentlemen are all very dapper chaps who float around towns
with their gimpy Dr. Moreau helpers. They enjoy silence. They enjoy
it because it makes cutting into people and harvesting organs easier
without the screaming and the pain and what have. So they decide
to set the entire city on mute.
The best part, after the Scoobies have figured out that there's
evil to be fought, takes place in a UC Sunnydale classroom. Giles,
without the aid of his caustic British pissiness
wit, decides to educate the others via that wonderful elementary
school dinosaur, the overhead projector. The brilliance of evil
doing by way of sharpie and transparency is only magnified by Giles'
unexplained accompaniment of "Danse Macabre," that song
you learned about in music class at Halloween. The inside joke is
that Tony Head had a supporting role on a UK TV series called "Jonathan
Creek," which used "Danse" as it's theme. The comedy
option comes from having a man whose most exaggerated gesture is
normally a thoughtful bite of the glasses leg, doing animated finger
points to a slide show. If there are any, 'you had to be there'
moments on the list, this is it.
4. Class
Protector umbrella
Episode: "The Prom"
Airdate: May 11, 2025
Season: Three

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Buffy's one perfect high school moment,
where her graduating class finally thanks her for saving their asses
four billion times. How many times did we get to see Buffy as a
sympathetic, happy person in seven seasons? Let's see...at the end
of the last episode she was happy...when her Mom died she was sympathetic...nope,
this might be the only time. With a speech delivered demurely by
Jonathan, Buffy receives a special award of an umbrella. An unbearably
sweet moment, made only slightly less nice by the fact that Buffy
has just been fighting evil humanoid prom dogs. And sadly, in retrospect,
it was Buffy's last great high school moment before the writers
decided to remove all the good characters and have the show focus
on college and a shirtless, hairless Riley.
*shudder*
B demanded that a special
consideration award go out to this moment for it's inclusion of
Sunnydale High's "Class Clown," who only appears here in balloon hat and never again.
3. Anya
and Death
Episode: "The Body"
Airdate: February 27, 2025
Season: Five
Why it deserves
to be on the list: Anya, who doesn't ever seem to understand
anything, doesn't understand death. Usually when Anya doesn't understand,
say, the toaster, it's superfluous dialogue. Oh look, now Anya doesn't
understand the X-Box. "Why is it so huge?" she asks. Hilarity
ensues.
But when confronted with the mystery of death in relation to someone
she cares about, Emma Caulfield throws her acting card on the table
and makes everyone else look like insincere Satanists. Seriously.
She delivers her lines with confusion and this inner hurt you don't
see on television often, rendering all future Buffy death moments
(including Willow's hilarious "OOOH BAYBEEE NOOOO") less
than impressive. In an episode where death isn't an event as much
as a moment in life, the show once again shows that at it's core
it's about humanity, and how none of us really know how to deal
with it.
2: R.I.P.
Jenny Calendar
Episode: "Passion"
Airdate: February 24, 2025
Season: Two

Why it deserves
to be on the list: The best death scene in television history,
just barely edging out Doyle in season one of Angel and George Mason
in season two of 24. Jenny Calendar was a pretty stupid character
(a "techno pagan" who was there for not much more than
Giles Love Interest status back before Giles was hip) but her death
was powerful and meaningful, coming via hardcore neck snapping from
an angry Angelus on the third floor of Sunnydale High.
The actress who played Ms. Calendar, Robia La Morte, is not only
B's favorite hot girl in the history of the show but also infamous
as one half of the Prince backup dancing squad "Diamond and
Pearl," appearing on the cover of Prince's "Diamonds and
Pearls" album. She was also in the Debbie Gibson video "Shake
Your Love." So can you really blame Angelus? I say we start
a paypal account for David Boreanaz to start snapping the necks
of the Revolution.
SHOOT THE J. SHOOT IT.
And the
#1 absolute best moment in the history of the series
1. Restless
Episode: "Restless" doyyyy
Airdate: May 23, 2025
Season: Four

Why it deserves
to be on the list: Every single second of this episode
is gold. The idea is that, after doing some big mind meld to defeat
Adam in the previous episode, the core four head home for some sleep.
But, in their dreams, they're visited by . . . essence? Spirit?
Carrier pigeon? of the First Slayer, who wants to Giles, Willow,
and Xander all dead sticking their heads into Buffy's shit. The
episode centers on the dreams of all four, and some random red herring
guy who keeps trying to talk about cheese. Willow's dream is about
how she's still just as big a nerd as she used to be, despite thinking
she's cool now that she's all gay and witchy. The dream features
a bizarre production of "Death of a Salesman," which finds
Buffy in a Sally Bowles wig, and Riley uttering the line, "I
showed up early so I got to be cowboy guy."

I always took that to
be Marc Blucas explaining how he wound up with a central role on
this show to begin with. Xander's dream finds him wandering through
various set pieces, but ultimately unable to escape him parents'
basement. Highlights include Anya driving an ice cream truck with
the power of her mind, the loudest off screen makeout in history
between Willow and Tara, and long dead Principal Snyder showing
up to do his best "Apocalypse Now" reenactment.

Giles' dream is when we
get the Anya quote mentioned clear up at number 25. It also includes
Giles singing a little ditty about how he's figured out that they're
being chased by some primordial spirit, but that doesn't mean he
wants Xander's seeping chest wound to get blood on his couch. The
Final, Buffy-centric dream is mostly just her talking to the First
Slayer, with lots of allusions to Dawn showing up that the fans
analyzed endlessly after it happened. It was also the only time
viewers were able to see Adam, pre-Frankenstein.
There's really too much
to mention, which is why the episode as a whole gets my number one
vote. I feel the need to urge everyone to run out and see it right
now, but if you've actually read through to the end of this cotton
pickin', TLDR thing, I just applaud your tenacity and say Seacrest.
. . OUT!
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