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"dude this post is gay put my post on the main page instead of this shit/"

Kyle F.
Chicago, IL

Did you know?

The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year!!!!  Hmm! Could that be due to the upcoming holiday season????

 

 

The Bullshit IQ Test That Is Unscientific And A Total Waste of Your Time

Which is Obviously Legitimate Because We Feature A Picture of Madonna Without Makeup Albert Einstein

Our Classic IQ Test is the most inaccurate and logically reprehensible excuse for an intelligence test ever created. We've divided our 20-question test into two 10-question sections: insultingly easy questions and ridiculously difficult questions.  Don't rush, there are no wrong answers!  No, seriously, there are no wrong answers.  We don't even record your answers.  We just let you click the buttons and say something nice about you when you're done.  Maybe if we convince you you're a genius, you'll spend money on an information packet full of more nice things we say about you, and for good measure, we'll include a few graphs representing various things!  Good luck!

PART ONE: INSULTINGLY EASY QUESTIONS

1.  Hi!  Welcome to this test!
     16
     My cousin Jeff
     Hi!
     what
     Alliteration

 

2.  Which one is Harry Potter?
    
    
    
    
    
 
3.  What number comes next in this sequence: 1,2,3,_?
     CONTACT!
     4
     0
     The Atom Bomb
     my neck is itchy
 
4.  Isn't it strange that you park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway?
     Quite strange!
     Quiet strange!
     I don't drive.
     49
     50
5.  Name an object.
      
      
      
     Toothpaste
      
 
6. 
1 is to 1 as 1 is to
     The Dave Matthews Band
     1
     1
     At the end of World War II in 1945, the city of Berlin was completely surrounded by territory occupied by Soviet forces. This territory officially became the country of East Germany in 1949. The city of Berlin itself was partitioned into East Berlin and West Berlin. West Berlin was occupied by British, French, and United States forces and was supported by the Federal Republic of Germany, commonly known as West Germany. Between 1949 when East Germany was established and the middle of 1961, at least 2.7 million people fled East Germany, more than half of them through West Berlin. Compared to other countries in Eastern Europe, East Germany was the most productive Communist nation between 1949 and 1961. However, East Germans had limited access to West German media and were aware that their standard of living was substantially lower than that of their counterparts in West Germany. Many East Germans left the GDR hoping to find better economic opportunities in the West.
     A gigantic pile of rocks
 
7.  You think Sarah's cheating on me?
     Yeah, dude.
     No, I mean, she just needs her space.
     I know her, she's a good girl.  She'd never do you like that.
     A gigantic pile of rocks
 
8.  Jim is taller than John.  What can be conclusion can be made about this statement?
   Jim is taller than John.
     John is shorter than Jim.
    
     Jim could dunk on you so hard that you would not believe how hard he could dunk on you.
9.  If you rearrange the letters "CRA," you would have the name of a(n):
     Vehicle
     Bathtub
     Nameless object
     I, HATE! I, HATE! I, HATE! PETAH PAN!
    
 
10.  Good is the opposite of: (Hint: all of these are correct answers)
    
    
    
    
    
 

PART TWO: RIDICULOUSLY DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

11.  John and Mike stand at the same point on a road, facing opposite directions.  They each run five miles, then turn left and run five more miles.  Shortly thereafter, John discovers a rocket-propulsion device and leaves the Earth at a 47-degree vector, heading west.  The combined weight of himself and the jet pack is 301.3 pounds.  He continues on the same vector for 43.5 seconds.  How old is Mike?
     35
     45
     47
 
12.  Which religion is correct?
     Christianity
     Judaism
     Islam
     Buddhism
13.  What color is my shirt?
     Red
     Blue
     White
     Green
     Black
 
14.  Do you even love me anymore?
     Yeah...I mean, I "love" everybody.
     No.
     God. Is this because of the "I don't love you anymore" T-shirt I bought?  It always goes back to that, doesn't it?
 
15.  Two girls caught frogs. Lisa caught the same number of frogs as the number of years from the Battle of Hastings to Lee's surrender at Appomattox.  The second girl, who is incidentally also named Lisa, also caught frogs.  How many more frogs did Lisa catch than Lisa?
     799
     -799
     0
     803
     A gigantic pile of rocks
16.  Okay, check this.
Say you're thrown into prison, and the guards give you two options. You can either get one shot glass a day full of water, or you can get a huge bucket full of it, but you have to drink it with a fork.  What would you rather do?
     Drink from the shot glass
     Drink with the fork
     Whoa. Haha.
     Dude, that's a good question, man.
     Jesus, dude, that question is hard, man. God! It's stressing me out. Pass me the bowl, man.
 
17.  , ,
Which image is next in this sequence?
    
    
    
    
 
 
18.  This software and its documentation are copyrighted by Saarland University, the Swedish Institute of Computer Science (SICS), the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence (DFKI), and other parties. The following terms apply to all files associated with the software unless explicitly disclaimed in individual files (see the file LICENSE-others for a list of these exceptions).

The authors hereby grant permission to use, copy, modify, distribute, and license this software and its documentation for any purpose, provided that existing copyright notices are retained in all copies and that this notice is included verbatim in any distributions. No written agreement, license, or royalty fee is required for any of the authorized uses. Modifications to this software may be copyrighted by their authors and need not follow the licensing terms described here, provided that the new terms are clearly indicated on the first page of each file where they apply.

IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR DISTRIBUTORS BE LIABLE TO ANY PARTY FOR DIRECT, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF THIS SOFTWARE, ITS DOCUMENTATION, OR ANY DERIVATIVES THEREOF, EVEN IF THE AUTHORS HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

THE AUTHORS AND DISTRIBUTORS SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. THIS SOFTWARE AND ITS DOCUMENTATION ARE PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" BASIS, AND THE AUTHORS AND DISTRIBUTORS HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO PROVIDE MAINTENANCE, SUPPORT, UPDATES, ENHANCEMENTS, OR MODIFICATIONS.

 
     I accept the terms of this agreement.
     I do not accept the terms of this agreement.
 
19.  Have you seen Season One of 24 yet?
     Yes
     No
20.  Oh. nina is the mole
     What??!?
     CRAP
     That wasn't even a question.
     I already know that, since I was one of 4 1/2 people that watched Season One.
     i haet this test/
 



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