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100 Songs to Download Now
Liberally borrowed from blender maga not borrowed
written by progressive boink- october 7th - 2003

I bet you'll never figure out what this is about unless we tell you! You're on your own, butthole!

JON

I am a music fan.  At night I like to frolic in a bed of CD cases before going to sleep.

1.  Radiohead, "Idioteque"  (1998)
The best beat in the history of music.  Except, of course, for every phat beat layed down by Pharrell.  Everything he touches is gold.  I guess that means his weird Asian sidekick's asshole is worth thousands.  And an excellent conductor of electricity.   read: it's made of gold b/c pharrell fucked it

2.  Outkast, "Unhappy"  (2003)
It's 2003, and approximately 97% of mainstream rap is worthless, repetitive shit.  This is in that three-percent slice.  That's right, I'm bringing pie into it.  I like pumkin pie.  And I like to spell it with one P, it's adorable that way.

3.  Rehab, "It Don't Matter" (2000)
This white-trash rap duo came out with one album, then probably went back to rubbing crack on their balls.  But at least they managed to make one of my favorite songs first.  Which song is that?  Why, it's "It Don't Matter" (2000), by Rehab.

4. Coldplay, "Trouble"  (2000)
Haunting, simple piano melody + talented musicians + British accent + falsetto = one good fucking song.

5. Queens of the Stone Age, "God Is In The Radio" (2002)
In-CD skits are almost always a waste of time, but it's a shame that the radio-station buzzing before this song is actually on the end of the previous track.  Regardless, it's an amazing six-minute track with two awesome guitar solos.  I can't listen to this in the car anymore, because when I do I masturbate furiously until I veer off into a ditch.

6. Tupac Shakur. "Death Around The Corner" (1995)
"I was raised in the city
Shitty ever since I was an itty bitty kiddie drinkin' liquor out my mama's titty."
Enough said.

7.  Audioslave. "I Am The Highway" (2002)
Great song.  Too bad their name sucks.

8.  A, "Monkey Kong"  (1999)
Yep, the band's name really is A.  Which makes it a real pain in the ass to try and find any of their music on Kazaa.  But if you can find it, it will rock your genitals off.

9.  Doves, "Sea Song"  (2000)
I'm not one of those snobby art faggots who can actually pick out instruments, but I think that the instrument that they play in this song is a guitar, and it sounds good. 

10.  Geto Boys, "Still"  (1999)
A lot of this track's humor comes from the fact that it was included in the soundtrack for "Office Space", the whitest movie of all time. 
WIT & AND WISDOM: "I seen this nigga with his nine smokin'.  I seen this same nigga with the nine die with his eyes open."

11.  David Gray, "Please Forgive Me"  (1998)
My dad owns this CD, and that makes me feel like a loser.   But that's okay, because listening to this song makes me a winner.  See, do you like how I just turned that situation around?

12.  Linkin Park. "My December" (2001)
I love Linkin Park, but even if you don't, at least try this one.  It's pretty different from the rest of their music.  You will dig it if you enjoy music from hot new rock bands such as Nickelback and Papa Roach!

13.  Blindside, "Pitiful"  (2002)
I included this song, not only because it's good, but also because since it's Swedish Christian grindcore, it will instantly turn your collection of Fifty Cent and Good Charlotte songs into an exotic, well-rounded collection.

14.  Incubus, "A Certain Shade Of Green"  (1997)
WIT AND & WISDOM:   An incubus is a spirit that rapes women in their sleep.  They once made a womens' running shoe called the Reebok Incubus.  In conclusion, Africa is a land of many contrasts.

15.  Christopher O'Riley, "Fake Plastic Trees"  (2002)
Since I am an Internet ninja, I was able to sneak two Radiohead songs on my list, sort of.  Christopher O'Riley covers Radiohead songs with his piano, and the result is some really beautiful music.

16.  Dave Matthews Band, "#36"  (the twentieth century)
Try to get the live track.  It's about twelve minutes long, and it's one of those songs that makes you feel good inside.  Like you're at a barbeque on a summer daywith all your best friends, instead of lying on your bedroom floor and masturbating into a paper bag in the middle of January. 

17.  Dire Straits, "So Far Away"  (1986)
Dire Straits was the best band of the 1980s, and the first rock band to play actual good music. That's right, Led Zeppelin couldn't rock their way out of a safe that they knew the combination to.  Does that seem impossible?  Well, the safe is a special safe that also has a knob mechanism on the inside that allows the user to enter the combination.  Pwned.

18.  Foo Fighters, "Aurora"  (1999)
(1) Wait until a cold, clear winter night.  (2) Dress warmly.  (3) Grab your MP3 player.  (4) Climb up the outside of your house and lie with your back on the roof.  (5) Queue "Aurora".  (6) Understand the universe.

19.  John Mayer, "3x5"  (2001)
One of the best songs I've ever heard.  To top it off, it's the only John Mayer song that won't make you turn into a pussy and make you want to cuddle your girlfriend instead of fuck her between her titties.

20.  Sigur Ros, "Vidrar Vel Til Loftarasa"
After watching us make music here in the States for generations, I guess the rest of the world has caught on and tried to get in on the act as well.  Exactly what part of the world this originates from I don't know, but it's ten minutes of sweet, sweet love.  \par
WIT AND & WISDOM: Between this and the Blindside track, soon people will be asking you if you just moved here from overseas.  Remember to speak unintelligibly and talk about how everything is better in your country.  Girls love that.

NICK

In no particular order:

1. Green Day, “16” 1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours (1991)
Probably Green Day at their finest. Off of their first album, 39/smooth. I guess you’re elite if you listen to it instead of Dookie. I like Dookie. I guess that makes me gay.

2. Bad Religion, “All Good Soldiers” Recipe For Hate (1993)
Singing along to this song makes me feel like I’m in a cult. Really religion/politically based. You’ll see what I mean WHEN YOU STEAL THIS SONG.

3. Alkaline Trio, “Trouble Breathing” Godamnit (1998)
Sometimes you just want to kill yourself. This song is about killing yourself. Catchy little number, if you ask me. Terrific intro, too. So just download the first 30 seconds, fool><ors.

4. Kicked in the Head, “Breakdown” Thick as Thieves (2001)
Kicked in the Head makes me proud to be from Boston. This song rocks pretty hard. I’d listen to it if someone were playing it live in front of me with a thirty-dollar bill attached to their arm for me to take.

5. Big D and the Kids Table, “Wailing Paddle” The Gipsy Hill ep (2002)
Wow, it’s hard to write stuff about songs… I’d have to say that if any song was worthy of winning the Nobel Prize for rock, this would be it, mostly in part because it’s about winning the Nobel Peace prize. No it’s not. It’s about getting the shit beat out of you. Rock. They’re from Boston.

6. Rage Against the Machine, “Maria” The Battle of Los Angeles (1999)
Rage Against the Machine is the sole reason I fell in love with music. I can’t say they’re the most technical or even the most talented group of guys, but they changed me. It’d be a sin for me to leave them off this list. If the chorus doesn’t make you bob your head than you have no soul.

7. Ben Folds Five, “Missing the War” Whatever and Ever Amen (1997)
Time to dim the lights, kiddies. Put your pants back on, Jon. Move over, Rover. And let BEN FOLDS FIVE take over. This is a good song you should listen to it because it’s pretty. The harmonies make me want to learn how to sing. Well.

8. Ozma, “Domino Effect” Rock and Roll Part III (2001)
This song is absolutely complete. There is an intro, a middle, an ending, a mommy, and a daddy. And here’s the baby! Wheee! I love the way this song is put together, makes me want to dance. Fun to sing along to, too. EVERYBODY! Sing. That. Song. That. I. Used to know.

9. Sum 41, “No Brains” Does This Look Infected? (2002)
Basically what POD would sound like with god’s cock outside of their mouths. I was really impressed with Sum 41’s last album; I’d call it their best work. But who am I to say? I have 11 toes.

10. The Swat Theme I made this song up on the bus
The simplest song ever written? Maybe. Gay? Maybe. Who cares, Samuel L. Jackson made it a cool song. Na. Na na na. Na na na. (Not Getting’ Jiggy Wit It)

11. Radiohead, “My Iron Lung” The Bends (1995)
The song that made me fall in love with Thom Yorke. I was hooked on Radiohead the instant the chorus began. It’s a little out there, even for Radiohead, but it keeps me bippin’ and a boppin’.

12. Charlie Daniels Band, “Devil Went Down to Georgia” Million Mile Reflections (1979)
Little time warp for you guys. Timeless song that almost anyone can appreciate. I may not know my fiddle but this is damn good fiddlin’. You guys probably already know the song, but it’s a must for all computer pirates.

13. Hot Rod Circuit, “Radio Song” If It’s Cool With You, It’s Cool With Me (2000)
Pretty groovin’ track. I’d call it their best song, if I had the right to. It’s not a direct reflection of the band, but rockin’ nonetheless.

14. The Living End. “Bloody Mary” The Living End (1998)
The kind of song you’d kill someone to. Real sneaky, I guess you could call it. These guys are Australian so they know how to have a good time. They recently got a new drummer who knits socks with his penis so try to get their old stuff.

15. The Final Fantasy IX Battle Theme Final Fantasy IX, I guess
I love this song. Most gaming theme songs get old after the 10th time, but this breaks ALL THE RULES. It might be hard to find, but it’s worth it. Don’t settle for the cheaper versions from previous games, this one takes the cake.

16. Joe Satriani, “The Extremist” Extremist (1992)
Purely instrumental. Pretty sick shit, if you ask me. I’d consider him to be one of the best guitarists alive, given that guy who plays Hendrix songs outside on the Boston Common. Which reminds me.

17. Jimi Hendrix, “Crosstown Traffic” Electric Ladyland (1968)
Probably my favorite song by the god. Probably shouldn’t get it if you don’t like his other stuff. It’s a pretty well known song, you’ve probably heard it. It’s kinda short so if you are an impatient bastard who’s too lazy to download COMPLETELY FREE MUSIC you should get this one.

18. Green Day, “Espionage” Shenanigans (2002)
The theme song of me and my gigantic car. We drive around and pretend to be in the mob together. Maybe someday we’ll actually kill someone. In that case we’ll start listening to 50 Cent. That reminds me.

19. Not a 50 Cent Song

19. Bleu, “Workaday Day” Headroom (2000)
Yet another groovin’ track. Bleu does all his own stuff, representing Boston as well as KITH and Big D. I had a hard time deciding what track to put down off of this cd so decided to put the first one. This one. The bass is pretty loud, you might want to turn it down as to not wake up your parents.

20. The Beatles, “Helter Skelter” The White Album (1968)
The song the drove Charles Manson insane, sparking his psychotic serial killing spree. He thought the voices were talking to him, telling him to kill people. Weird. Might be my favorite Beatles song, hard to tell. I figure this is a pretty good one to suggest, sort of different from the bland taste that “Help!” leaves in your mouth.

B

1. Sarah McLachlan, "Gloomy Sunday" Rarities, B-Sides, and Other Stuff (1996)
Sarah could sing the phone book and I would recommend it, I'm not kidding myself, but her live cover of "Gloomy Sunday" is the most beautiful sound a human voice can make. She hits notes with strength, consistency, and skill. She doesn't just feel the song, she sings it with emotion lingering somewhere between wanting to kill yourself and wanting to kill somebody. Sarah gets her Evolution goons to hold Billie Holiday down while she holds "Gloomy Sunday" in Holiday's face and yells "YOURE NEVER GOING TO GET THIS BACK"

2. John Lennon, "God" Plastic Ono Band (1970)
The ultimate self-dissection from the most amazing and creative human being to ever walk the face of the Earth. From his family to The Beatles to God (in this song), Lennon ran back across the room to shut the door that Paul, George, and Ringo had kicked open almost a decade before. "God" features Lennon helplessly yelling about the things he doesn't believe in anymore. Jesus. The Bible. Hitler. Kennedy. Yoga. The Beatles. He just believes in himself. Yoko and himself. And that's reality.

3. They Might Be Giants, "Kiss Me, Son of God" Lincoln (1989)
A pop ballad aimed at religious cults and the corruption of power that comes along with any position of authority. My favorite line: "I look like Jesus, so they say/but Mr. Jesus is very far away." This song has too much wit to be just one song. I suspect that it may be many songs.

4. Portishead, "Roads" Dummy (1994)
My favorite song from one of the best albums I've ever heard. Beth Gibbons + string orchestra = me knocked on my ass. Trip-hop at it's finest, if you can even call it that. It's beyond trip-hop, and beyond the universe. The live version from PNYC is even better.

5. Ted Neeley as Jesus Christ, "Gesthemane"
Jesus Christ Superstar Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1974)
Okay, so it's not as good as the original cast recording. But the original cast recording doesn't have Ted Neeley channeling Sebastian Bach two decades too early and rocking out on a mountain top about how God is going to kill him. This song is responsible for me walking around Applebee's singing "NAAAAAAAAIL ME TO YOUR CROSSSSSSS AND RAPE MEEEE"

6. Radiohead, "Street Spirit" The Bends (1995)
I feel like such a n00b for putting such an obvious Radiohead song on my list, but I can't help it. It's gorgeous, the final few notes of "The Bends," Radiohead's breakthrough into greatness. This album was like Radiohead's heel turn, where they raised Grunge's hand up like they were it's friend, and then when Grunge turned around WHAMMO they nailed it in the back of the head with the belt. This song still holds the title, eight years and 10,000 random computer noises later.

7. Radiohead, "Rhinestone Cowboy" Unreleased Live Track
Thom Yorke doing Glen Campbell. Do you need a blurb? Absolutely insane because it's done completely straight. Worth a download just to hear Thom's pronunciation of "rodeo."

8. Norah Jones, "Tennessee Waltz" Live in New Orleans (2003)
Shut up. I love my girlfriend Norah dearly. We are going to get married, and she's going to play piano while I swing naked on a giant swing above her.

9. Kurt Angle, "Medal" WWF The Music Vol. 5 (2001)
Good theme music for a bad jingoistic masked wrestler becomes insant classic and the greatest theme music of all-time when given to the 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist, four time WWF/E champion, and all-around alpha male. Kurt Angle is the coolest guy ever, because he could destroy any person you know in a real fight. He could destroy any two people you know. At the same time. Oh it's true.

10. Adam Green, "Jessica" Friends of Mine (2001)
"Jessica, Jessica Simpson
You've got it all wrong
Your fraudulent smile
The way that you faked it the day that you died"
You expect this to not be my favorite song?

11. Simon and Garfunkel, "Kathy's Song" Sounds of Silence (1966)
LOOK AT THEIR EYES. THEY'RE ON DRUGS. A beautiful, unappreciated melody from the kings of them.

12. Not Blink 182, “Phantom of the Opera” punk cover no idea
The cover is labeled on Kazaa as "Blink 182," but there's no fucking way, because Blink has never kicked this much ass. Maybe the best cover song ever done, and it's a shame that I have no idea who does it. Also, I am a giant Broadway fag to the max.

13. Atmosphere, "If I Was Santa Claus" Lucy Ford (2002)
I hate bad hip-hop, because GOOD hip-hop is SO good. Slug dares to take rap to wonderful new places. For example, sampling "O Holy Night." The song is slightly marred by the lame rapping at the end, but otherwise it's a damn good song, and the best Christmas rap song I've heard since Run DMC was on Beavis and Butthead.

14. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, "If You Must" Both Sides of the Brain (2000)
A rap song about people who need to clean themselves. God bless you Del, God bless you and your whack rhymes. "Nigga check yourself, respect yourself, and wash your motherfuckin' body 'fore your sweatshirt melts."

15. Eminem, “Stan” The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
What can I say about Stan that I haven't already said 2000 times? The funniest song ever made. Every line is funny. Every line is an in-joke. The video makes it even better. "STAHNLY WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Extra points for killing Dido at the end.

PS We should be together, too.

16. Vincent Guaraldi Trio, “Christmas Time is Here” A Charlie Brown Christmas/ The Royal Tenenbaums Original Soundtrack (2001)
The life affirming Christmas song to end all Christmas songs. The vocal version is choice because of the children's choir.

17. Hanyuu No Suku, “There's No Place Like Home” radio recording (1928)
The song that plays during the memories of Setsuko near the end of "Grave of the Fireflies," my favorite film. Not only does it make me cry and feel like a wretched human being, but just THINKING about it makes my eyes water. God damn you Isao Takahata, you're a genius.

18. The Cardigans, "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" Life (1996)
Yes, I'm retarded. A Black Sabbath cover by a Swedish pop group who sound like they're playing inside of a grocery store's muzak. From the album before "Lovefool" made us hate listening to the radio.

19. Meryn Cadell, “The Cat Carol” Christmas Songs [Nettwerk] (2000)
Please don't download this song. Much like the first five minutes of Finding Nemo it makes you go OH MY GOD and start bawling.

20. The White Stripes, “It's True That We Love One Another” Elephant (2002)
And finally, objectively the worst song ever made. These two almost made me like them, and then I listened to the last track on their latest album, Elephant. It's basically Jack White, Meg White, and shitty indy folk singer Holly Golightly singing/speaking in bad rhymes badly about how much they love each other. It made me want to vomit in my mouth so hard that my head explodes and vomit and pieces of head go everywhere. Download this just so you can have ammunition the next time somebody tries to get you to listen to the "greatest rock band in the world."

RONIN

1. Red Hot Chilli Peppers, "Right On Time" “Californication” 1999
The rebels of rock come in with another funky post-beatnik, rock infused message about god knows what. Sure does make you wanna move, though.

2. Groove Armada, "Superstylin'" “Goodbye Country(Hello Nightclub)” 2001
If you've never heard of the Armada, then this is a great way to get into them. Nice uppy dance song that you could play in the background of your afterbar or barmitzvah. Don't bother e-mailing me about the misspelling, I know I suck.

3. Groove Armada, "Edge Hill" “Goodbye Country(Hello Nightclub)” 2001
This is a great staple of the kind of stuff GA does on a regular basis. Nice, mellow. Masterful strings with a winding bass line. Good atmosphere music - but it'd still beat the shiz out of anything on the 'Pure Moods' CD.

4. Busta Rhymes, "Fire" “Cutmaster C / Who's The Boss? (Hosted By Busta Rhymes & The Diplomats)” 2002
It you ain't with Busta, you ain't with shiz, kid. One of the more recent of Busta's hits. Great way to get the party started. You want girls to dance, put this joint in.

5. Radiohead, "Maquiliadora" Unreleased
Take it from me, someone who's a big Radiohead fan, their old school stuff has some of the best moments in audio. Dig this soulful track for the early Radiohead days...the solo in the middle says it all. Anyone who feels that Radiohead is too out in left field should give this a listen.

6. Radiohead, "Inside My Head" Unreleased
Everyone knows that Thom and company have been known to be all over the acoustic map. And honestly, this is the most punk I've ever heard out of them. A great way to round out your collection and shock your friends with your eclectic tastes. Try not to come off as an elitist snob when you play this one. I dare you.

7. The Creation, "Making Time" “Making Time: Volume One”
Direct from the 'Rushmore' soundtrack, a great track that surprisingly becomes very catchy after the first time you hear it. Hey, it's rare. You want stuff to impress people with, right? Okay, so grab this one.

8. MC Chris, "Number One With The Ladies" Unreleased 2000
Everyone's favorite nerdcore rapper goes lounge lizard with a somewhat sophomoric, but still humorous little diddy about having game in the new millennium.

9. The Beatnutz, "It's Da Nutz" Unreleased 2001
One of the better little known hits from the Beatnutz, great party song to get crunk to. Learn to respect the Beatnutz if you have to go through the little Mexico part of your town. Hey, respect from the homeboys might come in handy later.

10. Nightmares On Wax. "Nights Interlude" “A Word Of Science” 1991
The name may suggest German Death Metal, but they're actually pioneers in modern fusion jazz. Nights Interlude is one of their better remixes of some structured jazz riffs and such. Get into it.

11. CKY, "Shock And Terror" “Infiltrate, Destroy, Rebuild” 2002
CKY is the band that did the soundtrack for the original Bam Margera skate video of the same name. It's the essence of skate punk and attitude. Did I mention this is one of the best rock albums to come out in the past 5 years? Grind to this.

12. Earth, Wind And Fire, "Let's Groove Tonight" “Let’s Groove”
Upbeat and positive, it talks about life and how it's important to just have a good time every once in awhile. Sometimes, you just can't beat the classics. And the song has something that today's top 50 blatantly lacks: soul. Don't let people tell you that it's old and lame, it's a song that you should be able to appreciate. And the amount of voice talent present does wonders to compliment the melody and horn sections. Besides if you ain’t old school, you ain’t nothin, playa.

13. Paul Weller, "Wild Wood" “Wild Wood” 1993
It sounds like something that would have had it's debut on Baywatch...you know what I mean, one of those songs they play during the montage in the middle of the show where everyone is looking so cool and Californian. Is that a word? If it's not, don't write in to tell us, just let it slide. Wild Wood has it all; vocals, lyrics, bass line. It's all good, so check it out.

14. Red Hot Chilli Peppers, "Deep Kick" “One Hot Minute” 1995
Another hit from the old school RHCP catalogue. It starts off with beatnik style spoken word that is just too cool for words. If you pay attention, you will get the general message of how it was to grow up in Cali in the early 90's. In it's Hunter Thompsonesque way, it paints a vivid picture of the message, and when the guitars come in, it frames the feeling perfectly. Anthony says it well - the almost 30 year old message - 'But love and music can save us'.

15. Hitman Sammy Sam, "Stepdaddy" Unreleased
Don't let the fact that it's rap scare you off. It's about the best song I've ever heard. It's all about the hardships of being a male that's involved with a woman who has children from another marriage. And the soulful performance by the children in the background adds to the atmosphere. It's a well produced piece that will make you want to give it a second listen to learn it, then you'll play it for all your friends. Trust me. Just listen to it. You WILL thank me.

16. Cursive, "Art Is Hard" “The Ugly Organ” 2003
I got introduced to these guys a short while ago and let me tell you, they rock in a different way, but one which is immediately identifiable as rocking. I picked Art Is Hard firstly because it's catchy punk/rockabilly, secondly because of the lyrics. Any band that can produce a song which disses the recording industry this hard, and then convinces the RIAA to distribute it...it's so much delicious irony on one small package that it makes me wanna spoo on the face of all the RIAA execs ad say, 'See, you'll even diss yourselves just to make a quick buck, you assknobs!" But I digress. Good song. At least listen to it to get the image of me blasting some suit in the face with manchowder out of your head.

17. Ice Cube, "Down For Whatever" “Lethal Injection” 1993
This was an almost completely forgotten hit until my man, Mike Judge came through and brought it back to light again. Remember the scene in 'Office Space' where they're beating the shiz out of the fax machine? This is the song they're playing over it. Get it now. Nuff said.

18. LTJ Bukem, "Horizons" “Ministry Of Sound - Chillout Session (Disc 1)” 2000
If you've never heard any of LTJ Bukem's stuff, this is an easy way to ease into it. The best way to describe it is to say it's a combination of non annoying house, non annoying ambient, and rhythmic spoken word. And it's got a beat you can dance to, if you're into techno. But chances are if you're into techno, then you've heard of him. It's a definitive UK style that you'll either love or hate.

19. Stretch, "Why Did You Do It?" “Elastique” 1995
My favorite song off the "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" soundtrack. It's a funky tune that fits well in any seedy bar scene, the kind of sound you'd expect in a Blues Brother film. Dig it if you respect the funk.

20. Henry Rollins Band, "Your Number Is One" “Nice” 2001
Driving bass line, overdriven guitars. This is Rollins Band at it's best (excluding Liar). Great driving song, or if you're about to start some trouble, you know bad shit is about to go down, use this to pump you and your crowbar swinging buddies up.

JUSTIN

1. Alkaline Trio, “My Little Needle”
Goddammit (1998)
The Alkaline Trio has a penchant for writing some of the poppiest songs tackling the subject of self depreciation. I’ve never heard a song that makes habitual drug use seem so damned appealing!

2. Goldfinger, “Superman”
Hang-Ups (1998)
Most people will remember this song from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater. I liked it prior to the game’s release. I’m not sure if this makes me cool for being underground, or a faggot for voluntarily listening to ska.

3. Kicked in the Head, “Fix My Sink”
Thick as Thieves (2001)
Since I’m from the same area as this band, it affords me the luxury of screaming really loudly when they mention where they’re from during a show. It’s a scientific fact that living near where a band once lived makes you a better person. I heard it also makes your penis and/or vagina gargantuan in stature, but that rumor is still largely unfounded.

4. The Suicide Machines, “Someone”
Battle Hymns (1998)
Not many bands can claim to be as versatile as the Detroit native Suicide Machines. The opening track to their second full length combines the most manic elements of hardcore, punk, and ska. Firm believers in the belief that quality is job #1, this song clocks in at just under two minutes. I think you can spare two minutes.

5. Saves the Day, “A Drag in D Flat”
Another Year on the Streets (2000)
Even through the title track off of their new record In Reverie sounds like something better suited for a Mega Man game, there was a time when Saves the Day knew how to rock out. A pounding drum and bass line provide the backbone for this song.

6. Q and not U, “And the Washington Monument Blinks Goodnight”
No Kill No Beep Beep (2000)
This song has a line about crashing planes into national monuments. I could crack an obvious 9/11 joke right about now, but I don’t want to infringe upon Jay Leno’s gimmick of being two years behind on all topical humor. ALSO, HIS CHIN IS REALLY LEARG!

7. The Dropkick Murphys “Barroom Hero”
Do or Die (1998)
The Dropkick Murphys exist solely to reinforce every stereotype cast upon the Irish-American population, and they couldn’t be happier. This song is about drinking, which Irish people like to do. It is also a song about fighting, which Irish people also like to do.

8. The Postal Service, “Clark Gable”
Give Up (2003)
This would be a good song to make out to. I’ve never made out to this song. I’m going to sob quietly and cut myself while listening to The Cure now.

9. Jimmy Eat World, “Goodbye Sky Harbor”
Clarity (1999)
Atmosphere is what this song is all about. The stirring seventeen minute long closing track to the masterful Clarity album finds Jimmy Eat World starts out like any other indie rock song, but ends up evolving into so much more. Looping vocals, ambient drum beats, skittish guitars, and light keyboard effects all culminate by the end to create an amazing listening experience.

10. Weezer, “Why Bother?”
Pinkerton (1996)
Its kind of sad when a band who at one point had mastered the art of crafting the perfect bitter-sweet pop song find themselves fighting over table scraps at the bottom of the “Bands who are doing a better job at being Weezer than Weezer currently is” pantheon. Rivers should concentrate more on writing good songs like Why Bother? and less on doing coke and having sex with under aged Asian girls.

11. Less Than Jake, “Scott Farcas Takes it on the Chin”
Hello Rockview (1998)
Less Than Jake wrote a song about leaving your town once. Then they wrote another. This, the 4234358437th in their series of songs written about moving out of your town is probably their best effort to date.

12. Big D and the Kids Table, “51 Gardner”
Good Luck (2000)
This is a song about a house on Gardner Street in Boston. Apparently, it was a dilapidated shit hole. That’s alright though, because as the homeless have taught us time and time again, poverty=funny.

13. Motion City Soundtrack, “The Future Freaks me Out”
I am the Movie (2003)
Their name plays out like a horrible Abbot and Costello routine. Their sound is a mixture of Weezer perfected power-pop and the moog rock styling of The Rentals. There’s a line about Will and Grace somewhere within the song which could possibly be exploited for comedic purposes, but then I’d also have to make a joke about Monica Lewinski contracting SARS through intercourse with Osama Bin Lauden, and I really don’t think anybody wants that.

14. Jurassic 5, “Freedom”
Power in Numbers (2002)
Proving to everyone that black people actually know how to use real words as opposed to just coming up with retarded phrases and colloquialisms on the fly, J5 helped usher in a new brand of socially conscious hip-hop while challenging people to stop blindly confirming and start challenging people to question the why’s of the world.

15. At the Drive-In, “One Armed Scissor”
Relationship of Command (2000)
Despite being one of the purveyors of the blander than oatmeal modern hardcore/screamo craze, At the Drive-In are universally lauded for their ability to make the commonplace sound extraordinary, culminating their lifespan with minimal radio play. The band's image was upped a notch solely because they Seinfelded it and broke up before they got repetitive, and we all saw it coming.

16. Reel Big Fish, “Thank You for Not Moshing”
Why Do They Rock So Hard? (1998)
This song should serve as an anthem to anyone who has ever been punched in the face by some obese asshole wearing a football jersey and a backwards hat at a punk show. DRINK SMIRNOFF AND BEAT WOMEN BRO\@!

17. Cursive, “Some Red Handed Slight of Hand”
The Ugly Organ (2003)
Tim Kasher writes angsty anti-pop songs. Tim Kasher acknowledges the fact that he writes angsty anti-pop songs. This makes him a revolutionary, or something. Whatever the case may be, this song is really good. You should download it for free on the internet. Besides, how many songs out there feature a cello totally rocking out, anyway?

18. Brand New, “Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t”
Deja Entendu (2003)
Just when I thought Hollywood had exhausted their supply of groin jokes, Marv took a staple to the crotch and all was once again right with the world. This song really doesn’t have anything to do with Home Alone outside of the title, but it’s quite good nonetheless. Mixing tranquil verses with punchy choruses, the singer pretty much vocalizes the difficulties that come with having to please an audience through the songs he writes, while trying to stay true to himself in the process.

19. Strike Anywhere, “Sunset on 32nd”
Change Is a Sound (2001)
You could call this song an eye opener. Prior to hearing it, I had no idea that the police got their rocks off by senselessly beating the crap out of minorities. Seriously though, it’s a great song with some poignant lyrics decrying unjust police brutality.

20. Piebald, “The Monkey Versus the Robot”
We Are the Only Friends We Have (2002)
Here we have Piebald exploring the confines of the daily nine-to-five. Travis Shettel’s off-key caterwauling, some really odd time signatures, and Piebald’s traditional tongue-in-cheek humor come together to create a memorable track.

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