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Things To Never/Always Say To A Libertarian.

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There are many libertarians who can take a joke. In fact, I'm friends with a few of them. There are also some libertarians who cannot take a joke. If you run into these folks, here are some good conversation-starters:

I think that the government should seize all churches in America and re-purpose them as chapels where we worship the police department.

I think that growing your own food should be against the law.

I think that building your own lawnmower should be against the law.

You shouldn't be allowed to have a gun. I bet you don't even know how to shoot it or clean it or anything.

I know more about guns than you.

I hope my birthday party is going to be fun. I think that making sure my birthday party is fun is the responsibility of the government.

I like police camera surveillance. It makes me feel like I'm in the movies!

I think that the government should pass legislation that automatically marries everyone to a gay guy and he gets to have a gun but you don't, on account of you are too stupid to have one or know how it works.

I run a blog. It starts with the word, "progressive." Would you like to hear more?

I think that the Posse Comitatus Act is bullshit. I think the Marines should go around the country and cut everyone's arms off with a chainsaw.

The Republican and Democratic parties are Americans' true mom and dad.

It's dangerous to leave the house without telling the government first. What if you get lost in the forest or something?

The best rifle is the .44 Magnum.