clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Everyone's Unfinished Screenplay: Intergalactic High Noon.

New, 9 comments

Everyone has an unfinished screenplay. Everyone. Yes, even you, reading this right now. Admit it.

"Everyone's Unfinished Screenplay" will serve as a repository of the very best unfinished screenplays of all time. It is our pleasure to present the first entry in this database. Please enjoy Intergalactic High Noon.

EXT. CITY - NIGHT

A futuristic city at night. Tall, futuristic-looking skyscrapers populate the skyline. Searchlights sweep through the sky. There are lights everywhere, actually. The place is bustling. Cars speed through the night and personal aircraft zip between the buildings. This is definitely THE FUTURE.

The cacophony of the city is overwhelming at first. Everything is moving, flashing, or making noise. The air is hazy. A light rain falls. [ADD MORE ATMOSPHERE HERE]

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

A lone man walks through a darkened alley. Although he wears dark leather and is clearly living in the future, there is something about him that resembles a COWBOY. His face is grim as he stops and casts a look over his shoulder. He only pauses a moment, then walks forward with determination once again.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

A jukebox blares inside of a dingy-looking, but still futuristic, bar. The bartenders are holograms instead of people. Seedy-looking customers input their orders on touchpads and their drinks arrive via a hole that opens up in the bar.

The bar is bustling but everyone there seems to have a clandestine purpose. There are suspicious glances and people speak in hushed tones. Some patrons boast hideous scars, while others have cybernetic parts [CORRECT TERM?]. Everyone looks like a tough customer.

The door to the bar SWINGS open, and the patrons eye the doorway suspiciously. The COWBOY from the alley stands in the doorway for a moment, then comes inside. The patrons turn back to their drinks, but watch him out of the corner of their eye.

INT. BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Cowboy walks to a back corner booth in the bar’s back room. A portly, sleazy-looking man sits behind a table in the booth with a few futuristic-looking women. His name is HECTOR SALAZAR. [I FEEL LIKE THIS NAME MAY HAVE ALREADY BEEN USED IN SOMETHING. I’LL LOOK IT UP AND FIX IT LATER IF I HAVE TO]

The sleazy-looking man looks up at the Cowboy and grins.

SALAZAR

Can I help you with something?

COWBOY

You Hector Salazar?

SALAZAR

(sleazy grin)

Who’s asking?

The Cowboy pulls aside his trench coat [REMINDER: ESTABLISH TRENCH COAT EARLIER] to reveal that he has a holster on his hip. The holster is filled with a gun, but like a future gun. Like a Blade Runner gun, but different. [WILL CLEAN THAT UP LATER]

Salazar’s eyes grow wide and he turns to the women.

SALAZAR (CONT'D)

Hey babes, why don’t you go get a [FUTURISTIC-SOUNDING FOOD OR SOMETHING] for me, huh?

He hands them a stack of money [MAYBE IT LOOKS LIKE CREDIT CARDS OR SOMETHING? THINK "FUTURE"] and they leave, looking worried.

COWBOY

You should probably know you’ve got a bounty out on you.

SALAZAR

Hey, who doesn’t?

COWBOY

The authorities are paying top dollar to bring you in. ["TOP CREDIT" MAYBE? DUNNO IF THEY HAVE DOLLARS IN THE FUTURE]

SALAZAR

Oh yeah? What are they offering?

COWBOY

One million [UNIT OF CURRENCY. SPACE-BUCKS?]

Salazar gives a low whistle.

COWBOY (CONT'D)

Dead or alive.

The Cowboy undoes the fastener thing on his space-gun. Under the table, Salazar has a space-gun of his own. [MAYBE ESTABLISH THAT SOMEHOW]

SALAZAR

[ARROGANT JOKE]

COWBOY

[WITTY REJOINDER]

The Cowboy draws his gun. He is fast as lightning. Salazar fires his own. Lasers shoot out of the guns. Salazar gets hit in the shoulder. He yells in pain and throws the table at the Cowboy.

All hell breaks loose as the other patrons in the bar spring into action. They all wield crazy space-looking future-weapons. One big guy even has a laser-sword. [SHIT, THAT’S JUST A LIGHT SABER, ISN’T IT]

The fight rages all over the bar and the Cowboy easily fights off the patrons. Salazar scrambles out of a side door. The Cowboy shoots some guys in the bar, but uses some futuristic-looking martial arts moves too. [LIKE FLIPPING KICKS OR SOMETHING. I DON’T KNOW]

The Cowboy fights off enough of the attackers and runs out the side door after Salazar.

EXT. STREETS - NIGHT

There is a blood trail on the street. The Cowboy follows it into another alley. Salazar is hiding behind a space-dumpster, holding his gun and also an iPhone-looking device, or something. His shoulder is bleeding heavily.

As the Cowboy is about to get to Salazar, some lights shine down onto the alley from above. It’s the future cops, in a flying patrol car. It came down into the alley from above because it’s a hovercraft or whatever. [NICE]

FUTURE COPS

Hold it right there, Cowboy! [MAYBE THEY DON’T CALL HIM THAT]

Salazar pops up from behind the trash thing and holds his hands up in the air. He smiles broadly.

SALAZAR

About time you guys showed up!

The future cops handcuff [SPACECUFF?] Salazar and lead him away. Salazar gloats.

[THE COWBOY GETS ANGRY HERE AND THINKS SOMETHING IS FISHY. THE COPS TELL HIM TO MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS.]

[THE COWBOY INVESTIGATES AND ALSO WE FIND OUT ABOUT HIS PAST AND WHAT HIS NAME IS AND WHY HE’S A COUNTY HUNTER.]

[IT TURNS OUT THAT THE COPS ARE CORRUPTED TOO AND THEY’RE AS SLEAZY AS SALAZAR. THE COWBOY WILL NEED TO GET SOME HELP FROM A LADY. MAYBE THE LADY HAS A SECRET? OH, MAYBE SHE’LL BE IN ON IT, TOO, AND DOUBLE CROSS HIM AT THE END. GOOD IDEA.]

[BASICALLY WHAT I’M GOING FOR HERE IS THAT IT’S THE FUTURE, BUT IT’S LIKE A WESTERN. LIKE BLADE RUNNER, BUT A WESTERN. IS THAT COMING ACROSS? CRAP. MAYBE THE COWBOY NEEDS A HAT. I’LL COME BACK TO THIS.]

-- First draft, March 24, 2001