Jill "Agility" Johnson (Johnson's current Wife and Daytime Stripper) It's like my manager, Mr. DeGatto, always says: "Lots of people take their clothes off for money, but it takes a special someone to do it for tips and free shrimp." Then he tells me to get my ass on-stage and to really push the 2-for-1 lobster special. That's how I feel about my Gary. He's special. Like my special someone. Not like the lobster. That's just expired. Sometimes I'll hear people talk about Gary and what he's done and they'll say things like "that's not such a big deal," or sometimes they'll say "who is Gary Johnson and why aren't your pants off yet," and I'll get mad, but then I just remember that when Einstein first discovered the new world he was tried by the Romans for witchcraft, so there's a real historical... context for this sort of... you know, prosecution. |