Bobby Martin (former Neighborhood Bully)

As I recall, our offical reason for assaulting him was because he'd been acting faggy. We'd held a meeting and decided him acting faggy was totally lame and decided upon beating his ass as the proper course of action. None of us knew that our beating would be responsible for the birth of one of the greatest products this nation has ever seen, but we all feel it serves as an inspiration to today's up-and-coming bullies. Keep at it, guys. You never know when you'll beat on somene famous.