**OnlineHost** You have entered the Wally Joyner Hall of Fame Candidacy Headquarters chatroom.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Okay, it's just about time for the Hall of Fame vote. Time for my annual "Put Wally in the Hally" party!

**OnlineHost** chpwned has entered the chatroom.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Chone! Glad you could make it!

rally_monkey: /offers hors d'oeuvres

chpwned: Oh yeah, well it's the least I could

/looks around

chpwned: Where is everybody?

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Oh, they're probably hiding in the back waiting to come out and surprise me when I get voted in!

chpwned: Are you sure? I mean, would they do that? Doesn't the surprise come with the phone call? Wouldn't it be a surprise for them too?

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Well sure! That's why they'd say "surprise"! It's short for "I am surprised"!

chpwned: Hey, what's that over there?

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Oh, this! This the national electoral board. I made it so I could keep track of the voting!

**OnlineHost**
WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony wants to directly connect.

**OnlineHost**
WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony is now directly connected.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony:

chpwned: Oh. Because it's in Cooperstown, right?

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: You guessed it! I rigged it up to my phone so New York will light up when I get a call! Hey, you want to test it out real quick? I mean, I'm sure I'll see it light up soon enough, heh, but if you want to test it out and see it light up that would be pretty cool!

chpwned: Actually, over the course of the past minute or so I have come to the conclusion that I am going to pay a visit to my...ahhh...yeah, my lawyer.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Your lawyer? What? Why your lawyer?

chpwned: To see if any new laws have come out.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Oh, well, okay. I, uh, thanks for coming over! You're gonna be missing a blast! Hey, are any other guys from the team going to be able to make it?

chpwned: they all died in the 1930s during an incredibly hard rainstorm

chpwned: SHIT i am SO BAD at lying

**OnlineHost**
chpwned has left the chatroom.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: /sigh

Man. I'd just go lay on my bed for a while and stare at the ceiling, but I don't want to bother all those people back there waiting to jump out and surprise me.

rally_monkey: /offers hors d'oeuvres

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Oh sure! I-- oh no, did Chone eat the little squares of cheese? Both of them?

rally_monkey: /nods

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Well, it looks like all there's left is a cough drop and some individual grains of salt. I guess I should have made a trip to the grocery store.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: /sigh

Some things just don't go the way you plan them.

**OnlineHost**
PECOTA has entered the chatroom.

PECOTA: HARK!

rally_monkey: /offers hors d'oeuvres

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony:

Pecota! What are you doing here?

PECOTA: I COULD NOT! NOT! COME TO A PARTY FOR A DEAR OLD FRIEND

WHERE IS YOUR FAMILY; ARE YOUR FRIENDS? !

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Well, my wife took the kids out for a while. They had to go fight this evil gang that commits crimes.

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Oh jeez, Wally. You're such an idiot. All this is so stupid.

/buries face in hands

PECOTA: WALLTER!!! COLLECT THY SELF!

LOOK ONLY TO THE CATHEDRALS OF EUROPE! THEY WERE ONCE BUILT BY THE HAND OF THE LORD; BUT OVER TIME; MEN FORGOT THEIR PURPOSE! THEY CLAIMED POSSESSION OF THAT WHICH WAS NOT! THEIRS!

PECOTA: IN SUCH A FASHION, BASEBALL'S CATHEDRAL MAY; ONE DAY; ATROPHY INTO A DECAYING HUSK OF WHAT WAS ONCE GREAT ABOUT BASEBALL! IT IS THE PECOTA'S QUEST TO ENSURE THAT MEN THERE WILL NEVER MOLD STATUES OF SWOLLEN GLANDS AND ARTIFICIAL ARMS; BUT WALLTER, I MAY NOT FIND MYSELF ABLE TO STOP IT!!!

PECOTA: THE LESSON TO BE DRAWN, WALLTER, IS THAT YOU MUST NEVER! EVER! LET ANOTHER MAN DEFINE YOU, EVEN IF THAT MAN IS PETER GAMMONS; ESPECIALLY IF THAT MAN! IS JIM CAPLE!!!!!

PECOTA: A MAN MUST RECOGNIZE THAT HE IS HIS OWN MONUMENT!

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: You're right, Pecota. Thank you.

rally_monkey: /sniffle

PECOTA: DO NOT WEEP; LITTLE APE-MAN! ONLY STRUGGLE TO CHANGE!

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: Well, I guess I should have gotten a call by now. I would have loved it. But oh well.

PECOTA: I ALSO WOULD HAVE, DEAR FRIEND!; I ALSO WOULD HAVE

WAIT

AREN'T YOU USING A DIAL-UP MODEM

WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony: OH SH

**OnlineHost**
WallyJoynerInHolyMatrimony has left the chatroom.

PECOTA: YOUR FRIEND IS AMONG THE MOST DECENT OF MEN! IT PAINS ME TO SEE HIS DISAPPOINTED FACE; BUT WHEN I THINK UPON THE BLESSINGS WE HAVE RECEIVED; WHEN I THINK UPON THE RIPKEN OR THE GWYNN; I ALSO THINK UPON THE JOYNER.

rally_monkey: I as well. My heart does not transact currency, and it does not calculate in numbers. I look at the world and don't feel like a better person. Only an incompatible one.

PECOTA: WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF I BORROWED THAT