The Dugout
By Jon - 5-17-06
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: Team, I have called this meeting to make an important and exciting announcement. |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: By my newfound reasoning, we have clinched the National League East this season. |
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3TimesANady: What? How? |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: Are you familiar with Zeno's paradox? One in particular states, "You can never catch up." |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: Allow me to explain. Suppose a tortoise (us) and a hare (the Braves) agree to a race, and the hare allows the tortoise a head start. |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: The hare, of course, is quicker than the rabbit, but when he runs to the point where the tortoise started, the tortoise has since moved forward, albeit very slowly. |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: However, it doesn't matter how slowly the tortoise progresses, as long has he does progress. This is because the every time the hare reaches a point the tortoise has been, the tortoise has, by definition, already moved forward. The scale in question grows smaller and smaller until it is, in fact, infinitesimal, but however small, the same properties still apply. |
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3TimesANady: oh my god i'm sorry but you have totally lost me |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: The hare,thusly, can never reach the tortoise, and the tortoise wins. |
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TheGLAVINATOR: Yeah. But, um...the tortoise is going to to pick up some pitching help, right? Zambrano just hurt his arm while attempting to throw a baseball within nine feet of the strike zone. One more freak injury like that and we're doomed. |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: These issues are not addressed by Zeno's paradox. |
| **OnlineHost** omar_goodness has entered the chatroom. | |
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omar_goodness: Willie! Listen, I'm getting Barry Zito in here. I think we have a great chance of landing him. |
| **OnlineHost** Z_Man has entered the chatroom. | |
| Z_Man: These are my terms. $18 million, three years, with incentives. | |
| Z_Man: I also would like to be provided with a place where I can anchor my two boats. | |
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CoachRandolphAllTheFans: Now this is what I call a "Barry" tricky conundrum! |
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3TimesANady: wait, aren't tortoises turtles godddddd i am so confused |
