By Jon - 1-25-06
Click pictures for player info.

buff_bagwell:   Wow, we came so close last year!  I know we can bring a World Series to Houston before my career is over.
call_me_roy:   Yeah, great!  Hey, do you know anything about cars?
buff_bagwell:   Me?  Why?
call_me_roy:   I'm trying to kill you off for insurance money.  I always get the gas and brake lines mixed up.  Which one makes you go and which one makes you stop?
buff_bagwell:   well I th
call_me_roy:   I cut them both just to be sure.  Hey, do you remember those trick Nerf guns they used to make that shot backwards too?  Do you think they made those for real bullets?
buff_bagwell:   I don't believe so.  And actually I believe that they shot at a different angle so th
call_me_roy:   Want to play Nerf war?
buff_bagwell:   No.
call_me_roy:   Well, there's got to be something fun we can do!
call_me_roy:   Want to play "Sword and Piece of Celery"?
call_me_roy:   I call sword.
buff_bagwell:   Look, why do you want to get rid of me so badly?  I used to be one of the best players in baseball, and I could have left for a lot of other teams, but I stuck around.  I've been here my entire major league career.  All I want to do is help you win.
call_me_roy:   Listen, Jeff, it's hard for me to kill you.  You're like a son.  But times are tough.  Baseball's a business.  We don't have time for old men like you living their fantasies on the diamond.
  OldLOL: Okay, final offer.  Give me $200 billion and shorten Major League Baseball games to twenty pitches and make it legal to pick up home plate and devour it so runners can't score and rename the team the "Roger Clemenses" and sacrifice your eldest child with your bare hand and give me your tie and punch yourself in the nuts ten times and there will be only a 97% chance that I will not come back.
call_me_roy:   WHATEVER YOU NEED