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| **Radio Host** Yes, it's Maxwell House Coffee Time starring the stars of baseball's "The Dugout!" For your Sunday night comedy enjoyment it's The Dugout, and for your everyday coffee drinking enjoyment it's Maxwell House! /overture |
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| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well i say there jim how's the weather treaten you in old chicago | |
| WordUpThome: JUST FINE THANK YOU, THE WEATHER IS ALWAYS THERE WITH A CUP OF JOE AND A MORNING PAPER, MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN | |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well that doesn't sound right, jim, that doesn't sound right at all! you and the misses are like bread an butter, toast an jam! | |
| WordUpThome: I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH THE SAME WOMAN FOR 49 YEARS. IF MY WIFE FINDS OUT SHE'LL KILL ME | |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: confound it jim, you an yer crazy schemes, always busten up a heap a trouble! why i oughta box your ears! | |
| WordUpThome:
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TO GET A CHECKUP AND I SAID, DOC I'VE GOT A RINGING IN MY
EARS HE SAID DON'T ANS |
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| WordUpThome: DON'T ANSWER IT | |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth:
oooh whyyy youuuu thank goodness i've got this fresh cup of maxwell house coffee to cool things down |
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| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yes maxwell house, always good to the last drop | |
| WordUpThome: MY WIFE AND I ALWAYS HOLD HANDS. WHEN I LET GO SHE SHOPS | |
| **Radio Host** JeterJeterPumpkinEater has entered the radio program. |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Hey you guys, I don't know if you heard about it but for Mother's Day Major League Baseball is letting us use PINK BATS! Isn't that UNREAL! |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth:
uh, well uh... well i say hey there old timer, what's the news that's news to know? |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: No, seriously, I'm not shitting you, LOOK! |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the old professor was just doin' a little "good hit, no field" with mister james thome, foxtrotting professor of the school of clout! | |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: now i say jim, the gals and i have been talken about headin' to comiskey to see- | |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Oh man, I just realized, this has got to be the easiest joke of all time! |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Oh God, like a batting practice fastball right down the middle, isn't it? Me, using a pink bat! |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: You're always giving me the business for being a homosexual, and now I'm using a PINK BAT! PINK! This is so unbelievably funny, am I right? I mean am I right, or what? |
| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth:
uh um |
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| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth:
max well hou- uh, maxwell house coffee? i |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: haha, okay fellas, I'm going to go get Alex to "clean the pink bat" for me, so take it easy, and enjoy all of your easy humor! |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Oh mercy, how could you NOT make that joke! Hahaha |
| **Radio Host** JeterJeterPumpkinEater has left the radio program. |
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| pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ... | |
| WordUpThome: I JUST GOT BACK FROM A PLEASURE TRIP. I TOOK MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TO THE AIRPORT |
