|
BiggioSmalls:
For a teammate and an Astros fan, today is a devastating day for us. |
|
buff_bagwell:
whimper |
|
BiggioSmalls:
You're losing one of your all-time best players and a great guy in the
clubhouse. Today is a rough day for everybody. |
|
buff_bagwell:
/consoles own widow |
|
BiggioSmalls:
And that man is Roger Clemens. Roger, we're going to miss you, maybe! |
|
buff_bagwell:
Wuh wuh wuh wait a minute!! |
 |
OldLOL:
Thank you for that warm statement, person I can only assume to be a ball boy.
I am going to miss the wonderful times I had with my family in a town close to this
stadium. |
|
OldLOL:
I would also like to extend my deepest sympathies to the Astros starting
rotation, for it no longer remains anchored by yours truly "The Rock" Roger
Clemens. |
|
LoveAngelMusicBaby:
**bursts into tears** |
|
AnimationOswalt:
THIS EMOTION IS JUST TOO MUCH OF ITSELF FOR ME TO HANDLE |
|
buff_bagwell:
confound it, this press conference was supposed to be a melancholy farewell to
ME! |
|
OldLOL:
melancholy? ha, that sounds like when a dog and a watermelon get
together and |
|
OldLOL:
yaaaawn too tired to finish that joke |
|
BiggioSmalls:
Oh, right, and also Jeff Bagwell is still suffering from... what was it again,
you got shot? |
|
buff_bagwell:
bone spurs! bone spurs in my shoulder! |
|
BiggioSmalls:
Jeff Bagwell is still suffering from being shot by thieves... |
|
OldLOL:
latino thieves |
|
BiggioSmalls:
being shot by Latino thieves and will start the season on the disabled list,
where he will stay until we offer him a minor league contract with the Bucksnort
Waterbabies or trade him to the Devil Rays for rolls of state quarters. |
|
BiggioSmalls:
Anything else to add? |
|
OldLOL:
bone spurs? what, did you mess with a skeleton cowboy and |
|
OldLOL:
oh fuck me |
