The Dugout
By Nick - 5-16-07
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YESWayJose: Thank you everyone for showing up. The press conference will begin momentarily.

YESWayJose: /flexes bicep

/pokes bicep with finger
YESWayJose: Alright shall we begin then? As you all know I've parlayed my All-Star career into Hollywood stardom. Throughout my travels I've gotten nasty with a whole mess of biddies and it would be safe to say that I could get any woman I wanted.
USAToday: Where is this going?
YESWayJose: Well I've talked with several television producers and we're going to make it into a TV show.
USAToday: ....make what into a tv show?
YESWayJose: My thrilling sex romps! Not just any television show. A reality television show. I really think we should get on top of this before reality tv begins to lose its novelty.
USAToday: Weren't you on The Surreal Life?
YESWayJose: Yes but this will be totally different. "The Surreal Life" was completely lacking in tittybanging. "Win A Day With Jose" is really short for "Win A Day of Tittybanging With Jose And Like 4 of His Friends P.S. I Aint Paying For Your Drinks Bitch".
USAToday: And that's it?
YESWayJose: Of course not! I'll be taking batting practice through most of the slow parts to keep the audience entertained. Not only that but my pool is always overflowing with hot babes who enjoy dousing each other with condiments I stash around my backyard.
USAToday: Wait a second...why am I the only major newspaper here? CNN would be eating this up, let alone the New York Post. What're you pulling?
YESWayJose: Well, I uh....

Well you know how I said I had been talking to major television stations?
USAToday: You were just really stoned and your friends thought it was hilarious?
YESWayJose: Yeah exactly.