**Online Host**
You have entered the Boston Red Sox Spring Training chatroom.

FranconaBun: What the hell's going on out there? You guys are supposed to be warming up!

David, why aren't you out there throwing the ball around with Manny?

OrtizItThisOne: Because I'm working on my swing instead since I won't be in a scenario that would involve me having to throw a baseball until June at the earliest?

FranconaBun: Yes, of course! I knew that.

You just seem to be the only one around here who can keep him focused. Look. He's out there trying to hit the Michelin Tire Man right now. Why are there even other people's mascots on the field during a non-gameday warmup?

OrtizItThisOne: The what?

Oh, no. That's the new outfielder. Name's J.D. Drew.

FranconaBun: Why aren't you in your warmup uniform, son?

OrtizItThisOne: You got 70 million dollars to be on our team and your uniform is a giant mass of foam and rubber held together with duct tape and "RED SOCKS" written sloppily on the front in red Sharpie?

MyNameIsSlimJD: Listen, Junior. For one thing, all those other uniforms had it spelt wrong.

Now I'm sure you think you know your stuff, 'specially now that you've finally made it to the majors, but once you get to be my age

OrtizItThisOne: I'm two days older than you.

MyNameIsSlimJD: you'll learn a thing or two about "Contract Negotiation" and protecting your assets.

Yeah, I got a lot of money, but I had to promise not to take too many sick days and actually show up to play. Else they keep part of it until like the year 2030.

MyNameIsSlimJD: God, is that even a real year? That sounds like I'll be living in a middle class apartment complex in the clouds like on the Jetsons.

So that's why I gotta keep my body well protected. Because I don't to have to wait for 9 million bucks while I go earn a comfortable living at Spacely's Sprockets.

OrtizItThisOne: Is that what this is all about? You're afraid if you get hit by a stray D-battery or, in a less likely situation, a baseball, then you'll have to wait for all your money?

MyNameIsSlimJD: Pssh, uh, yeah! Man's got to pay the bills.

OrtizItThisOne: Wow, for a second there it sounded like you don't even enjoy your job.

MyNameIsSlimJD: Hahaha, oh Junior. So young and eager.

Nobody enjoys their job, man. Didn't you watch the playoffs last year? I don't even like baseball.

MyNameIsSlimJD: One day you'll make as much as me and you'll never have to put all that silly effort into your work again.

OrtizItThisOne: How can you have no passion to be any greater than you have to? You don't even have a desire to win a World Series?

MyNameIsSlimJD: Man I'd love to but I just ain't that good at poker.

OrtizItThisOne: I can't believe it. You actually play with no heart whatsoever. You are completely heartless.

MannyTheTorpedoes: oh no a harless look ow papi!

DiceK: Hātoreeeeessssssu!!!

MyNameIsSlimJD: Oh my fuc

**Online Host**
DiceK has hit MyNameIsSlimJD in the face with a gyroball.

MyNameIsSlimJD is bleeding little green spheres.

MannyTheTorpedoes: phew dat was a close one mang

gud thing donal ducksay ha your back.

FranconaBun: Is he going to be all right?

OrtizItThisOne: Eventually. Just make sure he plays in as many games as possible. We wouldn't want him to lose any of his assets.

FranconaBun: Hm. It'll be tough keeping him healthy. Think we should make him a DH?

OrtizItThisOne: Do you like it when our team hits home runs?

FranconaBun: Home runs? Oh, yes, I like those.

OrtizItThisOne: Then no.