**OnlineHost** We find ourselves atop a picturesque windswept tower.

homosexual_rod: MORE GRABPES

MORE GRAAAABPES MY LOVF

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: /appears dressed in toga, holding stem of grapes

Here you are, my lord!

homosexual_rod: THROW THEM OFER HERE I'LL CATCHAM WITH MY MOUFTH

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Catch!

/throws grapes

homosexual_rod: /catches in mouth

I did it! Look, honey! Your grapes are in my mouth! I can't even talk right!

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: What? I can't understand what you're saying. Spit my grapes out!

homosexual_rod: /spits

SORRY MY LOVF I COULDEN TALK WITH JOOR GRABPES IN MY MOUFTH

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: My lord, I have great news for you! I've finished the cover of your children's book!

homosexual_rod: OOH LEMME SEE

**OnlineHost** JeterJeterPumpkinEater wants to directly connect.

**OnlineHost** JeterJeterPumpkinEater is now directly connected.

JeterJeterPumpkinEater:

homosexual_rod: ¡HHHHooooOOOO!

BABY I LOOGK SO PRETTY IT'S PERFEGT

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: What kind of classical muse would I be if it wasn't?

homosexual_rod: DO JOO THINGK THEY WOULD GIVF ME A WORAL SERIES RINK FOR IT

JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Well, no...you could get a Caldecott award, though!

**OnlineHost** Months later...

bush_league: "...and suddenly, the pitcher threw the ball! Suddenly, little Alex hit the ball! Suddenly, the ball flew over the fence for a home run!"

children_in_the_classroom: ooooh

bush_league: "Suddenly, little Alex ran around the bases! Suddenly--"

SecretService: /whispers in ear

bush_league: Oh...oh dear. I don't really know what to do.

bush_league: /looks down at book

/looks over at government agents

/looks down at book

bush_league: Fuck it, this book is terrible. If I read one more "suddenly" I'm going to lose it.

/takes assertive action immediately and minimalizes public distress while concurrently taking firm action against those suspected

**OnlineHost** The next day...

bush_league: Mr. Rodriguez, for your part in indirectly averting a major terrorist attack, I'd like to present you with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

homosexual_rod: DO JOO HAVF ANY WORAL SERIES RINKS BACK THERE

bush_league: I'm afraid not.

homosexual_rod: IF I DONT GET A WORAL SERIES RINK SOON I'LL START CRAWLINK AROUND IN CAFVES LIKE A SMEAGOL

bush_league: Don't feel bad! You're a good player. You hit so many taters that you're bound to get one eventually!

homosexual_rod: WHAT'S TATERS PRECIOUS