**OnlineHost** You have entered the New York Yankees chatroom. |
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ILOVECASHMAN: Sir, we have a problem. |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: AAAHH /frantically waves around suitcase full of $1000 bills GET IT AWAY |
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ILOVECASHMAN: I'm afraid that won't solve this problem, sir. |
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ILOVECASHMAN: Our outfield depth chart is full. There's no room for Bernie Williams. |
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ILOVECASHMAN: Bernie Williams. One of the anchors of our team for the past decade and a half. |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: Oh, right. |
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ILOVECASHMAN: We can't just release a guy like that. We'd be crucified for it. But we have to get rid of him somehow. |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: Hmm. Let me handle this. |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Hey boss! |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: Bernie! I have a proposition for you. |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Does it involve not benching me in favor of a guy whose first name is Melky? |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: I'd like to offer you a minor league contract. |
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Ert_and_Bernie: I'd like to think that my years of loyalty would deserve more than this. But if it's in the best interests of the team, I accept. |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: I knew you'd understand. |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Oh shit, hold on a second! The Yankees don't grow their own players! Do we even have a farm system? |
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WinBenSteinsBrenner: No. And yet I am sending you there! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOT EVEN THE LORD GOD KNOWS /boot |
| **OnlineHost** You have entered the Endless Expanse of Void chatroom. | |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Wh-where am I? |
| **OnlineHost** The_Universe appears offline and may not respond to your messages. | |
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Ert_and_Bernie: HELLO IS ANYONE THERE |
| **OnlineHost** Your message is travelling indefinitely and silently through the Endless Expanse of Void. | |
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Ert_and_Bernie: It appears...it appears as though I'm to remain here for eternity. |
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Ert_and_Bernie: But now there is only me. Nobody else. Nothing else. No light. Does time still hold meaning? |
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Ert_and_Bernie: For that matter, what of morality? Purpose? Can these things exist if they only exist inside of me? |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Oh wait, there's someone! Hey! You there! |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Turn around!! |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Hey! Where are you going? /begins to run |
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Ert_and_Bernie: Wait! Stop running! Please! |
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Ert_and_Bernie: I see you there! You! You, in the Yankees uniform with the number 51 on your back... |
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Ert_and_Bernie: oh...oh no i am chasing nothing but myself |
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Ert_and_Bernie: AAAHH MY GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASE |
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Ert_and_Bernie: I WANT OFF! I WANT OFF THIS COSMIC TREADMILL! DO YOU HEAR ME I WANT OUT |
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Ert_and_Bernie: There is no meaning here! There is no existence! There is nothing but myself and my now-irrelevant memories! It is as if |
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Ert_and_Bernie: ... Hey, wait a second. Don't the Yankees have a minor-league team after all? Isn't it in South Carolina? |
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Ert_and_Bernie: hmm |
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Ert_and_Bernie: /looks around actually yeah that sounds about right |
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