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**OnlineHost** You have entered the Titanic chatroom. |
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Radio: Receiving distress call, Titanic. State the emergency, please. |
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Capt.Theirasses: We need a new ship. That's all there is to it. We need a new
ship. This is inadequate. |
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Radio: What seems to be
the trouble with the ship, sir? |
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Capt.Theirasses: We hit an iceberg and it's sinking. And we have to share it with the
Miami Dolphins. |
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Radio: Why is that a problem? Don't you take turns with them? |
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Capt.Theirasses: Yes, but when we
tread this Earth we leave former selves of ours - ghosts, if you will - in our wake.
What if Dontrelle winds up for a fastball and gets possessed by the ghost of Gus Frerotte
and gets sacked or throws the ball 30 feet over the catcher's head? |
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Capt.Theirasses: That is why multiple sports teams should never, ever use the same
facility, no matter how much sense it makes or how little a burden it is on the taxpayer. |
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Radio: Right. So, that iceberg. Weren't you watching where you were
going? Don't you have any foresight? Didn't you plan for the future at all? |
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Capt.Theirasses: Nah. We were kind of hoping it wouldn't matter because we'd be
getting a new ship. If you do not accommodate us, I'm afraid we will have no choice
but to drown in the icy waters and relocate our franchise to Heaven or Hell. |
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Radio: Yes, sir! Understood, sir! Not sending a rescue vessel right
away, sir! Fuckyouverymuchoverandout! *click* |
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MeTrain: aw hell
naw! that muffuck got me fucked up |
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Capt.Theirasses: I'm sorry, Dontrelle. I'm sorry. I should've planned ahead
better. It's my fault...wait, who is that? Is that a...rescue ship? |
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Pierrepants: It is! WE'RE SAVED! Let me fetch my periscope! Or my
"juan"iscope, if you will! |
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**OnlineHost** Pierrepants
has pinged an unknown vessel. |
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Pierrepants: There! On the stern is painted "USS NEW YORK YANKEES!" |
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MeTrain: aww here goes |
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**OnlineHost** Capt.Theirasses
is lowering a lifeboat. |
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Capt.Theirasses: Oh, uh- well, I understand today's baseball world and I know that many of
you would like to test the free-agent waters. But I would like to have the chance to
make an offer that wo |
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MeTrain: gimme dat lifeboat less you want me cut sum bacon off ya back |
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**OnlineHost** MeTrain
has jumped ship. |
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Pierrepants: Hey. You guys need a center fielder? |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Let me ask. Baby, can we bring him on? |
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homosexual_rod: OHHHHH KAY EES
ARIGHT |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Baby...you're upset. What's the matter? |
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homosexual_rod: OHH NOTHINK |
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homosexual_rod: BOI WHY DON JOO NEFER DRAW ME NAKKIT |
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JeterJeterPumpkinEater: Because, snoogybear, I don't have the color "beautiful" in my
crayon box! |
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homosexual_rod: AW BOIII JOO SO SWEET |
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MeTrain: aww fuck boss man lemme back on the boat im bout ta barf my
cookies at that shit |
