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**OnlineHost** You have entered the "Outside the Lines " chat room. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Tonight on Outside the Lines, we're going to appreciate baseball as the enjoyable pastime it is and not take it too seriously. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Just kidding, we are going to talk about steroids again. This is Part 745 in our 9,000-part series, "Steroids: What the Fuck is a Baseball". |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Joining us in the studio is Jason Grimsley, former pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks. |
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GrimFandango: Good to be here, Bob. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Do you think that steroids? |
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GrimFandango: ...what? |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: I'm sorry, teleprompter's not working. Um...ahhhhhhhsteroids |
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GrimFandango: I actually was found to have been using human growth hormones. |
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GrimFandango: And, you know, I appreciate you bringing me on because I really just wanted to clear the air with my fans |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: You have fans? Really? A journeyman middle reliever? |
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GrimFandango: well yeah I mean |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Hahaha, I bet they call themselves "Grimsleyheads". What's a Grimsleyhead, just a guy wearing a baseball cap? Do they high-five every time you earn a "hold"? If I send a self-addressed stamped envelope can I sign up to be one of the Grimsley Gang? |
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GrimFandango: Well anyway, I know that a lot of these guys who use these sorts of drugs have to put up with a lot of scrutiny, and |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Yeah, yeah, but you see, those guys are actually good. That's why they're scrutinized. You're the guy who comes in during the bottom of the 7th, squeezes the rosin bag, throws four balls outside and in the dirt, and then walks to the dugout. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Hey, question for you. When you drink Gatorade do you ever feel like a poser? |
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GrimFandango: Look, I really didn't come here today to be slandered like this. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Sorry man, you're pretty much the most boring cheater in baseball history. I have to jazz this up somehow. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: Hey, if they engraved your career stats on the chassis of the next deep-space probe to be found by extraterrestrials in the 48th century, do you think they'd perceive us as weak and conquer us, or perceive us as lame-os and force us to mine zinc on Planet Zgryb? |
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GrimFandango: Hey, uh, you know what? When I played with the Yankees we all did steroids. Roger Clemens would inject a 3-liter syringe into his neck and breast-feed the rest of us. |
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STEROIDS_BobLey_STEROIDS: OH MY GOD TELL ME MORE |
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GrimFandango: Yeah. Jeff Weaver sucked formula out of a bottle, that's why he looks all fucked up and can't do long division. |
