The Dugout: Spring Training
By Jon - 3-22-06
Click pictures for player info.

**OnlineHost** You have entered the Atlanta Braves Spring Training chatroom.


DontPracticeRenteria

When I moved to Atlanta, everyone else knew each other. The whole starting lineup had spent their entire careers in the Braves organization.


DontPracticeRenteria:

I was traded during the offseason, so I had zip time to make friends before Spring Training.


DontPracticeRenteria:

Little did I know I was going to get us into the biggest pickle. ANY of us. Had EVER seen.
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: What's up with that hat? Got a fireplace?


DontPracticeRenteriaYeah.
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Throw that in there, man. Here, take this one.


DontPracticeRenteriaTh-thanks!

/sticks head in front door

MWOOOM! I'M GOIN' TO PLAY BWOOL!



DontPracticeRenteria:

I headed down to Turner Field and stood at what I was pretty sure was shortstop. Little did I know that I was going to get us in the biggest pickle. ANY of us. had EVER seen.


**OnlineHost** A fly ball is hit to short.


DontPracticeRenteria/flinches

/misses ball
AndraeiousometimesywAHAHAH

Kid's a square!
PeteOrriaCome on, Chipper! This kid is an L
PeteOrria7
PeteOrriaWEEEENIE


DontPracticeRenteria/pulls cap over face

/sobs softly
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Hey guys, come on.

Listen, man. Just...just stick your glove out there. Yeah, like that. I'll take care of the rest.
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: /tosses up ball
**OnlineHost** AChipOffTheOl'_erJones has hit the ball directly toward DontPracticeRenteria's glove.


DontPracticeRenteria/ball bounces off head

/remains motionless
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Uh...all right. Here's another.
**OnlineHost** AChipOffTheOl'_erJones has hit another ball at DontPracticeRenteria.


DontPracticeRenteria/takes off glove and attempts instead to catch ball using said ball which he has not yet caught

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Do you know how to play baseball?



DontPracticeRenteria:

I didn't know how to field, that's for sure. The year before I'd led the Major Leagues in errors. And I was about to get us into the biggest pickle. ANY of us. Had EVER seen.
AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Thanks for saying that like a billion times. Now let's try this again.

/hits ball


DontPracticeRenteria/tries to catch ball with back of thigh

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Again.

/hits ball


DontPracticeRenteria/tries to catch ball using an obscure childhood memory of his mother taking him to the supermarket

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Getting there, getting there!

/hits ball


DontPracticeRenteria/allows ball to drop and attempts to construct an argument supporting the idea that the planet Earth is his glove

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: You're getting better, I can tell! Practice makes perfect!

/hits ball


DontPracticeRenteria/insists that it does not matter whether he catches the ball because we are all in the Matrix

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Better, better!

/hits ball


DontPracticeRenteria/catches ball

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: You...you did it! YOU DID IT!


DontPracticeRenteria/tests positive for steroids