**OnlineHost** Welcome to Texas Rangers Locker Room Chat!

Reporter: Wes! You guys really killed them out there!

LittleBigLeague: Yep. I was about to say it was just a matter of who wanted it more, but I think it was a matter of the Orioles are horrible at baseball.

Reporter: So, 30 to 3? That could conceivably be the score of an American football game, given the high score and its divisibility by permutations of 7 and 3!

Reporter: Did you know that there also happens to be a football squadron in this city? Do you think that that is neat?

LittleBigLeague: Marginally!

Reporter: Well I'm going to go ask your black manager about...

/eyes dart about frantically as if following a pinball

...uhhhh black coaches in the nfl

Reporter: Congratulations on earning your first save of the season!

LittleBigLeague: Wait. I got a save for that?

Reporter: Yep, you earned nine outs and closed out the game. Congrats.

**OnlineHost** Reporter has left the chatroom.

LittleBigLeague: A save. Hmm.

/ctrl+s

**OnlineHost** "Everything a save once stood for.txt" already exists. Do you want to overwrite it?

LittleBigLeague: /yes

LittleBigLeague: Man, we won by 27 runs. I don't know whether I really deserved that. I didn't do shit to save the game.

**OnlineHost** A wormhole opens within the chatroom...

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: Greetings!

LittleBigLeague: What the fuck? Who are you?

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: A fair question! Put simply, I am a slightly different you. But I am you.

LittleBigLeague: Where did you come from?

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: One of an infinite number of universes, each illustrating every possible sequence of events. In some, life never emerged from its primordial stew. In others, you exist as a matterless being who floats about from planet to planet.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: My universe, however, is very similar to yours, with three exceptions: Gilbert Gottfried is President, Gary Klopf of Billings, Montana, has a mole on his face, and you did not pitch in the first game of tonight's doubleheader.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: I have traipsed the journey between universes to impart to you how important your role in tonight's game was.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: In my universe, you sat in the bullpen twirling your bizarro-stache while Kason Gabbard, then Kameron Loe, then Vincente Padilla came out to relieve. The Orioles kept scoring, and scoring, until we ran out of pitchers. As we speak, Sammy Sosa is throwing pitches twenty feet short of the plate.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: It is still the bottom of the seventh, and we are losing 84 to 14. We have been playing for 19 hours.

LittleBigLeague: Goodness.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: You see, in many ways, a universe is like a computer program, and our game is a subroutine. If it's missing one vital line of code, that part of the universe becomes mired in a hopeless, perpetual loop. That code was you, my friend.

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: And since you did not pitch in my universe, it is unlikely that we will ever stop playing.

The lesson, you may guess, is to never hesitate taking credit for something, because you may never fully know what you accomplished.

LittleBigLeague: Well, thank you. You've certainly given me a lot to think about, and I

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: hold on

/craps doorknobs out of ear

BIZARROLittleBigLeague: my universe sucks so bad