**OnlineHost** Welcome to Seattle Mariners Chat!

BillBaBaggins : Ichiro, we'd be thrilled to keep you a Mariner for the rest of your career.

Suzuki: /collects base hit

BillBaBaggins : How did you do that? You're sitting in my office.

Suzuki: 速い手首。

Official_Translator: "Quick wrists and hustle."

BillBaBaggins : I like your style. Here's your contract. $90 million is a lot of cash, so we'd like to restructure the offer a bit. You'll still get the money, but you won't be able to collect the whole sum until 2032. Is that all right with you?

Suzuki: 私はどんな風に
見えるか。吸盤か。
私達は両方西部文明がそれ
のまわりに長くないことを知っている。

Official_Translator: "What do I look like? A sucker? We both know Western civilization will not be around that long."

BillBaBaggins : Why do you say that?

Suzuki:ああ、私は知らない。
資本主義は手がつけられない動かすか。
無鉄砲な外交政策か。坐る20,000 の核
弾頭か。破裂音のラジオを団体動かしな
さいか。軽いビールか。汚染か。Obesity
か。健全なヘルスケアの解決の欠乏か。
"CSI" を考える人口は驚くばかりであるか。
私は知らない。私は私のろばからこれを引
き抜いたにちがいない。ええ、アメリカ文
化はきれいなうねりを見ている。私は 私
がそのバスケットに私の卵を置くことを考
える。2032 年、右か。私は反ユートピア
的な荒れ地の、上のヨーグルト浸された
pretzel のようにあるあなたの太陽漂白さ
れた骨組を搭載する海軍青い荒石の巨大な
山のあなたのオフィスを訪問するアメリ
カへgonna のはえ。驚くばかり! 大きい!
ええ!

Official_Translator: "Oh, I don't know. Capitalism run rampant? Foolhardy foreign policy? Twenty thousand nuclear warheads sitting around? Corporate-run pop radio? Light beer? Pollution? Obesity? Lack of a sound healthcare solution? A population that thinks "CSI" is awesome? I don't know. I must be pulling this out of my ass. Yeah, American culture is looking pretty swell. I think I'll put my eggs in that basket. 2032, right? I'm gonna fly over to America, which will not be a dystopian wasteland, and visit your office, which will not be a gigantic heap of navy-blue rubble with your sun-bleached skeleton lying like a yogurt-dipped pretzel on top. And you'll pay me in currency, which will definitely not be a burlap bag of cornmeal. Awesome! Great! Yeah!"

BillBaBaggins : Hmm.

Okay, well, I'll buy you a Jeep.

Suzuki: 販売される。

Official_Translator: "Sold."

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Year 2032 Chat!

Suzuki: Welp, 行く時間は私の点
検を選ぶ!

Official_Translator: "Welp, time to go pick up my check!"

Suzuki: /flies to America in solar-powered hover car in like five minutes

Suzuki: Hmm。すべては十分に
正常に見る。断念されたポスト核荒
れ地無し...lockstepで行進するワン
ピースの灰色のスーツの禿げた
plebians のherdlike のassemblances
無し... レポートに噴水に... cliches
無しあるやりspear-impaled Charlton
無しHestons 。多分私は間違っていた

Official_Translator: "Hmm. Everything looks normal enough. No abandoned post-nuclear wasteland...no herdlike assemblances of bald plebians in one-piece grey suits marching in lockstep...no spear-impaled Charlton Hestons lying in fountains...no cliches to report. Maybe I was wrong."

FrodoBaggins : Hello, Ichiro! My father told me to expect you. Here's your check, as promised.

Suzuki: 地獄のfreakin ' ええ!

Official_Translator: "Hell freakin' yeah!"

Suzuki: /reaches for check

TheGreatIM: /Rapture

FrodoBaggins : /ascends to Heaven

SO LONG SUCKERRR

Suzuki:ろくでなし!s

Official_Translator: "son of a bitch"

Suzuki: よく、日本に、正しく余りに来
ているか。

Official_Translator: "Well, you're coming to Japan too, right?"

TheGreatIM: Wait, there's a Japan?