**OnlineHost** Welcome to Atlanta Braves Chat!

SaltalaEarth: peew peew

Francoeuest: That guy can't shoot!

SaltalaEarth: well of course not they're plastic army guys

Francoeuest: Shut up! That's the radio guy. He doesn't even have a gun.

SaltalaEarth: well wait you just knocked my entire army off the table with your "HEY GUYS COME OVER HERE" guy

Francoeuest: he was calling in a nuclear strike

as_i_lay_diaz: /tries in vain to stand prone army man erect

**OnlineHost** Francold has entered the chatroom.

Francold: Heyyy kiddos!

Francoeuest: IT'S GRANDPA JULIO!!!

as_i_lay_diaz: YAAAYYY

DID YOU BRING US PRESENTS FROM THE OLD COUNTRY

Francold: Well, I realized that when I left Atlanta at the end of '05, I must have packed my NL East championship with me by mistake. I had it in New York for a year, so I figured I'd give it back to you guys.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: I'm glad you're back, man.

Kids, keep playing with your army guys. I'm going to have a talk with Grandpa Julio.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: So tell me something. And don't take this the wrong way, because you can definitely still play. Why haven't you retired?

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: I mean, you're still 500 hits away from 3000. At this rate you'd have to play another five years, minimum, to get there. Are you trying to put away some more money or something? What's the deal?

Francold: I just love to play. It's as simple as that.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: So you don't care whether you get into the Hall of Fame?

Francold: Oh, I'd love to be there. Who wouldn't? But let's face the fact. I'm a fan favorite here and all, but I only have the hits I have because I've played to age 48.

Francold: And I've played for eight different teams. The Hall doesn't like that kind of thing. If I got in, I'd probably be wearing a foam-and-mesh "Bob's Fishing Supply" hat on my plaque.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: I love this team to death, and I can't stand to think of the day I have to take off this jersey for the last time. But aren't you afraid? Don't you worry that you might underproduce and become a laughingstock?

Francold: Chipper, I think there's someone you should meet.

**OnlineHost** The room begins to shake...

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Whoa. What's happening!

PECOTA: I! AM HAPPENING! YOU! ARE HAPPENING! !

Francold: Hello, old friend. You got here quick.

PECOTA: I WAS IN! THE NEIGHBORHOOD, PAYING A VISIT TO THE MICHAEL VICK

Francold: How come?

PECOTA:

I KICKED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR BEING A MEAN RETARD

PECOTA: I FIND THAT; OTHER SPORTS DEPRESS ME LATELY! IT IS ALWAYS BUT A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I RETURN! TO THE CLOCKLESS GAME!

PECOTA: THIS; YOUNG LARRY; IS WHY DEAR JULIO RETURNS! NOT FOR FAME OR WORSHIP, BUT BECAUSE! THIS GAME IS ALL THAT MAN HAS GOTTEN RIGHT!!!

PECOTA: WE FIGHT WARS! WE CHEAT ON OUR SPOUSES! WE LISTEN! TO THE STEVE MILLER BAND!

PECOTA: BUT IF!; WE THROW OURSELVES INTO SOMETHING AS GLORIOUS AS BASEBALL; ALL IS FORGIVEN!!!

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Thank you. I think I understand now. If we can breathe, we breathe. If we can play baseball, we play.

PECOTA: PRECISELY SO!!!

WHERE IS? THE PETE ORR; I MUST SPEAK TO THE OBSCURE UTILITY INFIELDER CAST IN MINE IMAGE!

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: We, uh...we demoted him. He was hitting .179.

PECOTA: YOUR TEAM MUST! BRING HIM BACK; HE IS ALL THAT IS GOOD! ABOUT THE GAME WITHOUT DEADLINE! NUMBERS! ARE BUT AN FEEBLE SYSTEM THAT MEN USE TO ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND THE WORKINGS OF OUR WORLD!!!

PECOTA: NOW WHERE? IS THE MACAY MCBRIDE!

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: He was released last month.

PECOTA: OK GOOD