**OnlineHost** You have entered the "The Bronx is Burning" chatroom.

OliverPlattsAreDying: I'm ready to get started, Mr. Chechik. Very, very excited to be working with you. I don't want to be premature, but I think this could be the best ESPN Original Miniseries in the history of the world!

chechik_please: I agree, Mr. Platt. I've directed several projects, ranging from "The Avengers" to the DVD commentary for "The Avengers", so I know talent when I see it. You're going to make an excellent George Steinbrenner. And Billy Martin will be played by none other than John Turturro.

OliverPlattsAreDying: Mr. Turturro! Glad to meet you! Didn't you play Jesus in "The Big Lebowohhh my god your ears are huge

TurturroChips: lol

OliverPlattsAreDying: your ears are so big you're breaking this fucking table, i think my computer's about to crash

TurturroChips: i'm just as god made me

chechik_please: This is good! Conflict! You see, this film is set largely in 1977 New York. Steinbrenner and his manager, Martin, are reaching a boiling point, and there's the Son of Sam killer running around, and there's a blackout, and all kinds of heck is breaking loose!

chechik_please: So, uh, let's talk script. Any ideas?

TurturroChips: hmm

well i was in "summer of sam", the movie that was about the son of sam killer but not really

we could do that and just replace people in dirty tanktops fucking with baseball guys doing baseball stuff

chechik_please: Brilliant! Okay, first scene. Oliver, remember. You are Steinbrenner. In this scene, you are really mad at Billy Martin. I want to see poise. POISE!!!

OliverPlattsAreDying: ok how's this

acting!!!

chechik_please: ACTING!!!

TurturroChips: aaahh

chechik_please: Okay, that was great. Now in the next scene, I'll segue into a couple of teenagers being shot to death.

TurturroChips: oh shit i am sad that that happened, oh well time to be a baseball guy some more

chechik_please: And...cut! Perfect. You guys are blowing me away.

chechik_please: Okay. Next scene. Turturro, you're on the field.

TurturroChips: oh boy we get to go to yankee stadium!!!

chechik_please: Welllll not really. We're, uh, we're going to film in some two-bit rinky-dink park, and just film all our scenes from above.

OliverPlattsAreDying: Okay. We're making a show about baseball, right? And that generally means that a lot of screen time will be spent on the baseball diamond, right? Are you telling me we're not going to use any level shots at all?

chechik_please: A day of shooting at Yankee Stadium is way too expensive.

OliverPlattsAreDying: But this is ESPN. The Worldwide Leader in Sports. I refuse to believe we have a tight budget here.

chechik_please: Oh, we don't. Or at least, we didn't. I had to shell out big bucks for a very special cameo!

OliverPlattsAreDying: You killed our budget on a cameo? Who'd you hire, Jason Giambi?

chechik_please: well,

long_live_giambi:

HEY MISTUH STEINBRENNUH

YA GOTTA SIGN REGGIE JACKSON MISTUH STEINBRENNUH

chechik_please: /hands over 85 billion dollars

OliverPlattsAreDying: oh for the love of christ

OliverPlattsAreDying: I think we need to put this show out of its misery. We were bumped back because the Home Run Derby ran late, and at this point we're starting to cut into SportsCenter time. People are going to be pissed.

chechik_please: Yeah...I guess you're right. Just let me do one more thing.

chechik_please: OH JEEZ SOME LADY JUST GOT HER HEAD BLOWN OFF BY THE PSYCHO KILLER FROM HELL

TurturroChips: this city is in a turmoil!

there is so much gravitas that i feel like i am on saturn

chechik_please: /mimes guitar riff

OliverPlattsAreDying: does anybody here realize how stupid this is

chechik_please: Yeah, I guess you're right.

OliverPlattsAreDying: Well I'm glad you

chechik_please: hold that thought

MEET THE METAL TASTE OF DEATH, VICTIMS NUMBER FOUR AND FIVE

chechik_please: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

chechik_please: I'M MAKING PEOPLE DIE ON THE SPORTS CHANNEL