**OnlineHost** You have entered the Baltimore Orioles' Front Office chatroom.

PeterAngel: Mr. Girardi, thank you for coming. I'd like to introduce you to my Vice Chairman.

rainbow_sux: hello

girardi_and_cola: Tom Clancy? You seriously co-own the Orioles?

rainbow_sux: yes, it's all part of my synergistic plan to corner the demographic of 40 year old yuppies who are lame

rainbow_sux: pardon me one moment

/sidesteps nonchalantly to skybox window, farts dollar bills

Orioles_Fans: YAAAAAYYY

rainbow_sux: terribly sorry, i didn't want to create an odor in here. "money smells", after all

rainbow_sux: you know my principal character jack ryan says that in chapters 2, 5, 11 and 18 in my upcoming book "political guys and various specific gun models"; it is a story about political subterfuge and

girardi_and_cola: nobody cares

PeterAngel: Yes, let's get back to business.

As you're aware, Joe, the Orioles are putting a respectable amount of talent on the field, but it just hasn't translated into wins. We're looking for a manager who can get our team to the playoffs.

girardi_and_cola: I know I can do it. When I managed the Marlins last year, we fielded a team consisting entirely of Dontrelle Willis and United Way Hurricane Rita volunteers who laid sandbags by night.

rainbow_sux: sandbags are quite effective in the theater of defensive combat tactics, as they help stabilize both mounted and hand-operated firearms as well as providing substantial cover from hostile fire

rainbow_sux: speaking of which i was thinking about making a video game where you crawl around on your belly and shoot a south american in a beret and military fatigues once every ten minutes

girardi_and_cola: Look, could you cut it out? Seriously? I'm very close to signing with you, but I have to have the assurance that you won't push your crappy books on me.

rainbow_sux: ok yeah sorry i'll just sit in the corner and leave you alone

girardi_and_cola: But anyway, Mr. Angelos. I'm confident that within three years I could bring this team to

...

Mr. Clancy, are you...are you pleasuring yourself?

rainbow_sux: /attempts to unstick hands from Guns & Ammo Magazine

NO WHAT NO

YOU'RE OUT OF LINE SENATOR

girardi_and_cola: That's it, I'm not dealing with this. I'm out.

rainbow_sux: if you don't join our organization i will end your career by doing a bunch of boring political stuff that nobody would ever want to read about!

and then i will shoot you with a model of rifle you have never heard of

girardi_and_cola: Yep. Well, I'm going to go hang around Torre until he gets fired. Later.

**OnlineHost** girardi_and_cola has left the chatroom.

PeterAngel: Damn it, Tom! That guy was our best chance to turn things around, and you ruined it.

rainbow_sux: sorry mr. angelos i don't dance

rainbow_sux: whoaaa hold on a sec

/moves to window, bends over, farts out several dozen copies of a hardcover neopolitical wet dream

Orioles_Fans: AAAAAHHH

**OnlineHost** Dozens of fans have sustained severe injury.

rainbow_sux: the sum of all fartz, lol