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**OnlineHost** You have entered the 3000 Hit Club chatroom. |
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Yount2_Aight: I'm getting up. Anyone want a drink? |
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CornOnTyCobb: GIMME A BROWNBOTTLE SURPRISE |
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Yount2_Aight: Will the bartender know what that is? Because I don't. |
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CornOnTyCobb: A BOTTLE OF HYDROGEN PEROXIDE WITH A SPLASH OF VERMOUTH, JAM A TURNIP INSIDE |
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Yount2_Aight: So what's the "surprise" part? |
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CornOnTyCobb: THE SURPRISE IS A SECRET SO SHUT YOUR CONDAMNED YAP |
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Yount2_Aight: ok sry |
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**OnlineHost** There's a knock on the door. |
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hank_you_very_much: Who could that be? Ichiro isn't supposed to be here for another...
/checks watch
...ten minutes. |
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Hall_Molitor: I'll check it out.
/looks through peephole |
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Hall_Molitor: Weird. I don't see anyone. |
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BiggioSmalls: /furiously hops into view
HEY GUYS IT'S ME
IT'S ME CRAIG BIGGIO |
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Hall_Molitor: ...Craig? Anyone know a Craig? |
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WillAmaze: Nope. |
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hank_you_very_much: /shrug |
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Hall_Molitor: /opens door
/looks down
I know this sounds like I'm trying to make a joke, but are you selling Small Child Scout cookies? |
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BiggioSmalls: i'm not a kid!!! i have almost 3000 hits |
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Hall_Molitor: Sorry. It's just that you're like two feet tall and look like you're 11. |
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BiggioSmalls: sh'up!!! i am a 41 year old man |
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Hall_Molitor: But that's got to be a Little League hat. You look like your team is sponsored by the local broadband Internet company. |
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BiggioSmalls: it's the houston ashtros jeeeeez |
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Yount2_Aight: Hey, wait! I know this guy. |
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Yount2_Aight: I mean...
/gestures emptily
I mean, he is gonna have 3000 hits. |
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WillAmaze: This party is going to get lame pretty quick. In my day we didn't have players that looked like that. |
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WillAmaze: For the love of God, he looks like the "there is no spoon" kid. He probably pokes bloop singles with his mind. I don't trust him. |
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charlie_hustle: Yeah, me neither! This guy's a pipsqueak!
Now you listen here, kid! |
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BiggioSmalls: /gulp |
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charlie_hustle: I have more hits than anyone else in the history of baseball. I can't get into the Hall of Fame, so my hits record is all I have. |
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charlie_hustle: I played for 24 years and still held together a .300 average, which is more than you can say. I won two World Series rings. I was Charlie Hustle, an American icon, a household name. |
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charlie_hustle: You, on the other hand, are that one guy whose All-Star card kids would fold up real tight and use as brakes on their rollerblades. |
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BiggioSmalls: /kicks feet
friggin sh'up |
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charlie_hustle: You're a nobody! A loser! Get lost! |
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WillAmaze: Come on, Pete, calm down. You're a little out of line. |
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Hall_Molitor: You have participated in a variety of acts which have harangued the Craig, and you must now live with the consequences of those acts. |
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charlie_hustle: oh puddinpops |
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CornOnTyCobb: OH HEY WHO'S THE LITTLE TYKE |
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BiggioSmalls: hi mister cobb! my name's craig biggio |
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CornOnTyCobb: HEY HOLD MY DRINK FOR A SECOND YOU RAGAMUFFIN |
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BiggioSmalls: yes sir mister cobb! |
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CornOnTyCobb: HA YOU KNOW SOMETHING KID, YOU'RE NOT SO BAD |
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BiggioSmalls: /grins |
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CornOnTyCobb: /draws pistol |
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**OnlineHost** BiggioSmalls has been shot in the gut. |
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CornOnTyCobb: FUCKING SURPRISE
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CornOnTyCobb: THAT'S THE SURPRISE I WAS TALKING ABOUT FROM A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO
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