**OnlineHost** You have entered the Season 7 of 24 chatroom.

crackerjack: CHLOE, I AM GOING TO SIT HERE AND WATCH THIS MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME.

PotatoFace: We have a whole season to fill, Jack! What are you going to do with the other 21 hours?

crackerjack: USE THE RESTROOM, PROBABLY.

PotatoFace: Oh great, I was hoping you'd make some "does jack ever go to the bathroom?!?!?!" joke.

crackerjack: GRANTED, A FULL DAY OF ME TAKING A DUMP WOULD BE BETTER THAN LAST SEASON.

CHLOE, SEND A "DRUMROLL RIMSHOT" SOUND FILE TO MY PDA

PotatoFace: I'm going to hang up now.

crackerjack: LET ME TELL MORE JOKES! I NEVER GET TO TELL JOKES!

DAMN IT CHLOE

/melodrama

**OnlineHost** PotatoFace has left the chatroom.

**OnlineHost** Almost 24 hours later...

crackerjack: SON OF A BITCH, HOW LONG IS THIS GAME

PotatoFace: It's been almost 24 hours, Jack!

crackerjack: SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. CHLOE, PULL UP THE BROOKLYN CYCLONES' ROSTER FROM THEIR WEBSITE.

PotatoFace: Something's wrong here, Jack. As of right now the roster's empty! None of the names are showing up!

crackerjack: /runs onto field

WHO ARE YOU

morelikeCyOld1: Sir! You are interrupting our game!

morelikeCyOld2: This is most bothersome!

morelikeCyOld3: Get off our field!

crackerjack: HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO PLAY FOR 24 HOURS IN A ROW?

morelikeCyOld2: Roughly 18 hours in a row, really, if you count commercials.

crackerjack: CHLOE, THIS TEAM IS A BUNCH OF GHOSTS.

PotatoFace: That explains why they don't show up on the roster!

crackerjack: THEY ALL SEEM TO BE REPLICANTS OF CY YOUNG.

PotatoFace: Well duh, Jack, , they're called the Cyclones.

crackerjack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

PotatoFace: Get it? Cyclones?

crackerjack: WHAT

PotatoFace: ...

oh fucking

crackerjack: I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN, CHLOE.

/melodrama

morelikeCyOld3: Jack, there's something you should know.

morelikeCyOld3: I am your dad.

crackerjack: I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT MY DAD WAS MY DAD.

morelikeCyOld3: Well I am also your dad.

/engages in convoluted conspiracy with aims to accomplish some vague sinister economic ends or something

PotatoFace: this show is so getting canceled