**OnlineHost** Welcome to Interstate Highway Chat!

PECOTASBIKE: /hums steadily along

PECOTA: /looks down at sidecars to left and right

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: /absently playing pocket travel Simon

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /vacantly munching on Twizzler

PECOTASBIKE: /whispers

Two men, without their brothers. A terrible thing.

PECOTA: /whispers

Indeed...

PECOTA: /global

YOU BOYS! SURE ARE BEING TROOPERS!

DudeYerGettinADelmon: yee well i still dont really know what the fuck

i mean what the fuck

PECOTA: THIS IS THE FUCK!

THE DAVID GLASS MAKES HIS LAIR IN BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS! WE! ARE GOING THERE TO WAGE WAR WITH HIM! AND RESTORE ORDER TO BASEBALL!

DudeYerGettinADelmon: so he a ol lady who owns a independent retail establishment

cause if so, blam bitch ya dead in a ditch

PECOTA: IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING! THIS! IS WHY I NEED YOU AND YOUR BROTHER! THE DAVID GLASS IS ALSO THE OWNER OF WAL-MART

DudeYerGettinADelmon: the fuck is walmart

PECOTA: THE MOST CONVENIENT STORE THINE EYES HAVE EVER SEEN!!!

DudeYerGettinADelmon: aw fuck then

ya own a convenience store, delmon come bust out ya inconvenient toof

PECOTA: YOU SHOULD ALSO! BE AWARE THAT HE IS A DEMON-MAN WITH SUPERNATURAL POWERS WHO CAN IMMOLATE MENS' SOULS

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: does he have a midsection that i can mosh into the ground like so many soggy loafs of bread

PECOTA: YES! AND I WILL NEED YOU BOTH! TO SAVE BASEBALL!

DudeYerGettinADelmon: man ya dont need this honky, me an my bat'll snap some fuckin cheeks

ya look like a fuckin flagpole honky

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: i got a fucken flagpole in my fucken pants

school kids circle aroundst my dick every thursday morn and pray to god an jesus

and sometimes get shot by some kid whose listens to too much toad the wet sprocket

DudeYerGettinADelmon: man fuck toad the wet sprocket and fuck ya dumb ass, ya dick aint got a flag on it

but it always got a fag in it

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: the fuck are you saying that fucken elton jim hammers me in my urethra franklin

DudeYerGettinADelmon: man im sayin david sedaris is in ya london an paris

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what the fuck does that mean

actually what the fuck is your hat about

where do you play, fucken tuberculosis city montana

DudeYerGettinADelmon: whatev ya hat look like the fuckin hobo sign fa "dont stop here less ya wanna get gangbanged in ya shit chute"

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yeah good thing for you cause the armied corpse of engineers has to build special trusses to hoist mine mighty dingdong

DudeYerGettinADelmon: ya cant get ya own dick up how the fuck old is you, 685

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: fuck you even the most shitlumpt fatass children use my woodpecker as a zipcord at christian summered camp

DudeYerGettinADelmon: hahaha im gettin fine honeys all night while fuckin andy milonakis zippin off ya dick

spreadin his cream cheese on ya gold locket

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: fuck you my long an throbby is a tool for ministry, what in the frick are you doin with yer dick

DudeYerGettinADelmon: teachin ya momma the ol "what-for"

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what

DudeYerGettinADelmon: the ol "who-how"

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what

DudeYerGettinADelmon: the ol "how-is"

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: what

DudeYerGettinADelmon: the ol "what-becomes"

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: wherein do you get off sayin that crap shit you fucken laos leprechaun

DudeYerGettinADelmon:the fuck you just call me

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: i callt you a fucken maomick

DudeYerGettinADelmon: mothafuck ya better not be callin me a member of a muffukin irish diaspora that settles in souf asia

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: thats right you god damned filipino fumblin dublin

fucken phnom penh pikey

DudeYerGettinADelmon: we about ta have some words ya fucken oppresionist limey

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: yeah well i got ned kellys dick mount'd in my fucken tv room so grab a vag and smoke it

DudeYerGettinADelmon: well at least my brah's still out there, ya brah's a fuckin ghost

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: you

..

you fucken

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: oh jesus

/buries head in hands

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /sigh

fuck it man

/turns away

PECOTA: /look of sorrow and concern

PECOTA: /and of uncertainty, for the first time in his life

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: ...

DudeYerGettinADelmon: ...

PECOTA: ...

PECOTA: /eyes brighten

PECOTA: BAD BOYS!; BAD BOYS! WHAT CHA GONNA DO! WHAT CHA GONNA DO! WHAT CHA GONNA DO! WHEN THEY COME! FOR! YOU!

PECOTA: /pause

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: ...

DudeYerGettinADelmon: ...

PECOTA: BAD BOYS! BAD BOYS! WHAT CHA GONNA DO! WHAT! CHA GONNA DO! WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU!!!!

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: nobody na gicka no rickayyyy

DudeYerGettinADelmon: police non give ya no break

pr0FF3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth: an no sowwwja gonna giya no break

DudeYerGettinADelmon: not even

ya assa nah give ya no break

PECOTA: iAYY AY!

**OnlineHost** The three sing merrily together as they disappear with their motorcycle into the horizon. A battle is near, very near, and they very well may not survive it. But now, at this moment, they are happy.