Archive Exclusive
Click pictures for player info.
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AndHedges: I'm done plating the walls of the hallway with gold, you can come in now. |
| **Online
Host** RobertGuillaume has entered the chatroom. |
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RobertGuillaume: ugh you used gold plating? I thought you were going to smithy the room from scratch?? |
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AndHedges:
sorry I covered the floor in money "rich man's facetious bird cage" style like you asked. Look, you're standing on my last paycheck! |
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RobertGuillaume: oh gee I don't think my feet are small enough to fit onto one dollar bill |
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RobertGuillaume: Kris, I've brought you here to tell you that I've decided to end it. I want a divorce. |
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AndHedges:
/blows on thumb, collapses a divorce??? Oh God why |
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RobertGuillaume: Several reasons. Firstly, Baltimore is small market, and moving out of New York severely hurt my marketability and future. Plus I can't pee on the homeless without consequence here. |
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RobertGuillaume: Secondly, you actually go out and PITCH now?? That takes away from your important "standing in front of me looking directly at me" time. |
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RobertGuillaume: Thirdly, why do you spell your first name like that? "Kris?" What's wrong with "Chris?" What're you, a figure skater? |
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AndHedges: aw baby say it ain't so, I can change! I'll go down to the government office and change my name tomorrow. I can be Chris. Or I can be Cad! Do you like Cad? "Cad" Benson! |
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RobertGuillaume: Also, being married really makes it socially awkward for me to continue blowing everyone in Major League Baseball. |
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AndHedges: everyone??? even John Smoltz??? |
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RobertGuillaume: I'm moving back in with my ex, Kris, that's final. I'm sorry. It's over. Accept it! I'm tired of you using me, goodbye. |
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MetLife: yea listen what the LADY said you PUSSYYYY i dont want you creepin round my back stair capishe [sic] ?? |
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AndHedges: Mr. Met, you son of a bitch! I thought you were gay! |
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MetLife: nigga please, dont pimp step to MR. met... your chick chose me, so go stick yo' self |
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RobertGuillaume: yes, daddy |
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AndHedges: Anna, Anna please don't go! I'll do anything to keep you! I'll give you all of my money, you can have all of it! I'll drain the Inner Harbor and fill it with Cristal for you! |
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AndHedges: I'll buy the Baltimore Sun and have every story be about how great of an ass you have! We can call it the Baltimore Moon! |
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AndHedges: I'll graft hundred-dollar bills onto my skin and let you spend me on coke and slutty outfits! I'll go through circulation but I'll always come back to you, baby! |
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RobertGuillaume: And what can you give me, Mr. Met? |
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MetLife: i got stitches on my face and bitches at my place, ya feel me |
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RobertGuillaume: yeah okay on second thought |
