 |
BakersDozen:
Carlos, we're going to offer you a one-year, $6.5 million deal to avoid
arbitration but I've got some reservations and I wanted to talk to you about them. |
 |
KaZambrano:
yokay |
|
BakersDozen:
Every time the Cubs do a club chat something bad starts happening due to that
blasted goat and we all get hurt or Mark Prior falls off a bridge or something. |
|
BakersDozen:
We are willing to give you 43 times the average salary of a doctor if you
will make twenty starts. |
|
KaZambrano:
well acourse, i mean i |
|
BadOhman:
BAWS!! COME QUICK!!! I GOT TERRIBLE NEWS |
|
BakersDozen:
doot doot doot sorry not listening doot doot doot |
|
BadOhman:
BUT IT'S MARK, BAWS, MARK WAS TROWN FROM A MOVING CAR AND GOT CRUSHT B'NEATH
A STEAMROLLER! HE'S LIKE A PANCAKE BAWS, I DON'T THINK HE CAN... |
|
BakersDozen:
Right, so Carlos, when I say "6.5 million dollars" I don't mean
"6.5 million one dollar bills." I'm talking 6.5 million HUNDRED dollar
bills. So that raises the sum significantly. |
|
BakersDozen:
And that's guaranteed to you if pitch until the All-Star Break, or at least
until a month or so before when we know we're mathmatically out of the race. |
|
KaZambrano:
wow at sounds like a great deal ats more an i was aspecting, i tell you what,
i'll |
|
dempsterslut:
Coach |
|
BakersDozen:
not now Ryan I'm making Carlos a hand-tossed pizza |
|
dempsterslut:
I just thought you'd want to know about Kerry Wood, we just got a phone call
and he |
|
BakersDozen:
nope
|
|
dempsterslut:
He was at Cape Canaveral with his family and |
|
BakersDozen:
nope |
|
dempsterslut:
and the space shuttle started tipping over and it |
|
BakersDozen:
nope |
|
dempsterslut:
and it made a crack in a fault line and now there's a hole in the world and
we're hurtling towards our |
|
BakersDozen:
Carlos, what I'm saying is that I will spelunke into the goddamn ocean and
pay you in the dabloons of lost societies |
|
BakersDozen:
Just make it onto the field and do not entangle or choke yourself with your
uniform while you're putting it on |
|
KaZambrano:
i make no guarantees |
