| |
**Online Host**
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the National League. Pretty soon, she came upon a clubhouse. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl. |
|
Goldilocks: This porridge is okay, but I'll probably end up throwing it out. |
| |
**Online Host**
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl. |
|
Goldilocks: This porridge should've been thrown out a long time ago! |
| |
**Online Host**
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge. |
|
Goldilocks: This porridge is on the ground with big chunks of shattered bowl floating around in it. |
| |
**Online Host**
Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed... |
|
Goldilocks: This bed is more comfortable than it should be...but eeeeeeh |
| |
**Online Host**
So she lay down in the second bed...
|
|
Goldilocks: This bed is covered in water and train grease. The hell? |
| |
**Online Host**
So she lay down in the third bed...
|
|
Goldilocks: This bed is juuuust ri- |
| |
**Online Host**
The Colossus of Rhodes with a bunch of old-style medieval maces duct-taped to the torso has fallen onto Goldilocks and crushed her.
As she lay motionless beneath the wreckage, the three coaches came home. |
 |
girardi_and_cola: Oh no, someone has broken into our house! please please please let me stay and investigate pleeeease |
 |
BallParkFrank: My porridge!!!! /bursts into tears |
 |
BakersDozen: I'll just assume the worst about my bed and go back to wandering around in the goddamn forest |
