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call_me_roy: Today, friends, we've gathered at Minute Maid Park here in the heart of the grape juice district to witness "Big Man" Mythology as it happens. |
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call_me_roy: I have purchased a steam engine and intend to use it to replace the Houston Astros. |
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SteamEngine: toot toooot |
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call_me_roy: However, in a bid to save his job and the jobs of his men, African American folk hero Roger Clemens has challenged me to a contest: |
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call_me_roy: Roger Clemens vs. The Steam Engine |
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OldLOL: who are those people, the ones sitting in the stands |
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call_me_roy: those are fans and well-wishers |
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OldLOL: tell them I hate them |
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call_me_roy: The contest exists thusly: The Rocket will attempt to strike out the steam engine. If he does, the jobs are saved and we might gain a game in the wild card race. |
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call_me_roy: Remember, this is the second week of September, so this is the exact moment when we need to win games and try to make it into the playoffs. |
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call_me_roy: I repeat, this is the most important time of the entire baseball season to win games, and Roger Clemens, being the guy we waited on all season to show up and help us win games is really going to try hard to help us win games right now. |
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call_me_roy: This will truly be a contest for the ages. |
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OldLOL: oh my groin /collapses |
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call_me_roy: What? What happened? |
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OldLOL: a football came out of nowhere and hit me upon the groin, and now my groin has fallen out. I think it's down around my ankles somewhere help |
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OldLOL: sorry I can't pitch right now
but I'm totally driven still don't worry I'll just pitch a little later
yes a little later |
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call_me_roy: Okay, sorry to bring everybody out. The season is over and you can all go home. |
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fLORIda: I will purchase that steam engine for one dollar American, good sir! |
