Welcome to the official travellers' website for Metro City, where those considering a visit to the area can see all our town has to offer. With over 25,000 shops, 13,000 restaurants, 1800 hotels and 28 Wal-Marts, it's no wonder how we've earned the name The City That Doesn't Sleep, Except Perhaps On Rare Ocassions When It Needs To Get To Work Early Or Go To A Doctor's Appointment The Next Morning. The menu to the left will help you plan your trip, but first we have a word from Metro City mayor Mike "The Body" Haggar.

It's been several years since I left the Capcom Wrestling Association to run for mayor of Metro City, according to this disturbingly in-depth plot guide I've found. I'll be the first to admit, Metro wasn't in the best shape when I came into office. The previous mayor had allowed crime to get out of control, and a gang of thugs known as the Mad Gears ruled the streets. But even I wasn't fully aware of the depravity of those we were dealing with until one fateful morning.

I was on hold with customer service over a supposedly "indetectable" wooden right hand that I felt was not living up to the advertising claims when I recieved a call on the other line. The man did not identify himself, rather he only asked me to turn on my TV.

The fiends had kidnapped a beautiful, innocent girl, and one who had apparently just been to the prom.

Unfortunately, it was only after I had started undressing her with my eyes that I realized it was my daughter, Jessica. I felt a little queasy. Then, the goon himself replaced Jessica on the screen, ruining what was left of my woody.

He implored me to make it easier on myself, that they wouldn't hurt the girl, all I had to do was snap into a Slim Jim. But I refused to bow to criminal demands. The man threatened that I would be sorry, and disappeared. I knew I didn't have much time. Something had to be done, and done fast. I called in my top advisor.

He was heavy with child, so I made it brief.

"Guy, the Mad Gear gang roams the streets unchecked. There's only one solution. We have to check them."

"..Check them?"

"Yes. Then they won't be unchecked any more. Now how do we go about doing this?"

Guy thought for a moment. "I think the only thing I ever check is my mail. And I just look out the window to see if it's there yet."

"Perfect. Would you mind looking out the window, and seeing if the gang is there?"

Guy hesitated, his mind slow to grasp the brilliance of my plan. But eventually he walked to the window and peered out onto the ruined cityscape below.

"Well?"

He hesitated again. I wondered if the baby was kicking, and it was disrupting his train of thought. "Yeah, they're definitely there. You don't happen to drive a blue BMW, do you?"

"Yes, yes I do. Why?"

"No reason. But you might want to take a look at the local bus route. Sir, this doesn't seem to be having much of an effect."

"Then what do you suggest?"

He began laying forth a plan so brilliant I could've thought of it. A plan rife with cunning elegance and tactical ingenuity. We would go to the streets. We would face the Mad Gears on their own turf. We would allow them to assemble en masse before us. Then we would procede to beat each and every member to death with our bare fists.

"Or a pipe or a sword or something, if you can find one," he added.

I turned away so he wouldn't see me wiping away the tear in my eye.

"Cody.."

"My name's Guy."

"Whichever. Cody, that's a wonderful plan. That's the kind of forward-thinking we need in this administration. Let's go."

We left right then and there to begin cleaning up the streets of Metro City. I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say we beat up a bunch of people and I threw a guy in a wheelchair with a crossbow out a 90th story window. Jessica, and the city, were safe.

So like I was saying, Metro City is a great town. We've got lots of stuff to do, so have fun. I'd like to leave you with some words of wisdom that my brother wrote, many years ago. They've been a great comfort to me in times of hardship, and hopefully will do the same for you.