Top 5 Games of All Time

by Stevo

5. Grand Theft Auto 1

I played this after all the others and it really isn't that good. I'd probably rate it like a 3 or a 4 becuase you can't even snipe off old ladie's heads with a sniper rifle from 300 yards out while having sex with a hooker and beating up a cop.

4. Gtamd Theft Auto 3

This game is what got me into games. I used to hate video games becuase I thought most of the people who played them were just acne faced nintendo geeks sitting in their parent's basements watching wrestling and drinking fresca out of a two liter bottle who have never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or have actually seen a girl and that they were all overweight anime fans wearing t-shirts with nonsensical japanese characters and writing which means nothing but they think stands for nobility and pride or something while they wait in line for the next Star Wars movie for roughly 439 days. Nah but this game is hype and now I like all sorts of games like Grand Theft Auto, True Crime: Streets of LA, and Grand Theft Auto Vice City.
 

3. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

This game gets a bad rap. I mean sure you can pick up a hooker, have sex with the hooker, beat the hooker with a golf club, and then take the hooker's money but I mean it's just a game. I know I'm not gonna go out and kill someone in real life just because I saw somebody in a video game do it. I mean anyone that dumb obviously has problems already and like, maybe their parents should've whipped them silly with an extension cord or something when they were younger. I mean I play GTA to escape from real life and to do things I couldn't do in real life. Also you can blast some pigs with some shotgun. Pigs=cops for those not in the know.

2. Mario 1

Hey what can I say? Sometimes you've just got to respect your roots and give the old school it's props. I remember how me and my friend Jeff would blaze up every day after school and then go to his house to play Mario 1 on his computer's NES emulater. I mean I'm only 14 so I wasn't even alive when the game came out but I respect the games that inspired my favorite ones of all time (lol I'll give you three guesses) and Jeff has this really cool hacked ROM where Mario is in a wheel chair and instead of question blocks he hits handicapped signs and he doesn't shoot fire anymore becuase he pees on the bad guys instead. Also, what's the deal with the mushrooms making you big? What were these guys smoking when they came up with that idea?

1. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Oh man this game is so hype. It's not even out yet but I already know it's gonna be the best game ever. You're gonna play as this black guy and if you eat too much food you'll get really fat. I can eat whatever I want and I don't gain a pound. I was at McDonalds with Erica and she watched me pound three double cheeseburgers and I was like "Don't worry I'm not going to gain a pound, I do this like three times a week," then my right arm siezed up and I collapsed into a writhing heap on the floor. Now I'm the youngest kid in school to have had a heart attack and also the youngest kid to have ever brought a colostomy bag to school.

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