The best site design possible.
I checked out Maddox's helpful hints regarding how to design a website, and have decided to try them out on this page. Here are a few things to remember:
1. USE BIG LETTERS SO THAT IT IS EASY TO READ
The bigger, the better. This way, it looks like you're writing big long articles, when in actuality your post is only about four and a half words long. Observe:
HI MY NAME IS MADDO
See? I feel like I just got done reading
fucking War and Peace!
2. YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN IS NOT A PIECE OF PAPER
All web pages should have light text on black backgrounds. Also, do not attempt to write on your monitor, make an airplane our of your monitor, play "monitor football", decorate your living space with "wall-monitor", purchase a weirdly-animated Nintendo game called "Monitor Mario", pack your lunch in a monitor bag, or purchase a monitor-back book. Conversely, the Confederate ironclad ship Merrimac did not wage war with the Paper.
3. INSIST THAT YOUR WEBSITE IS SHITTY-LOOKING ON PURPOSE AS A MEANS OF PROTEST
This borrows the strategy employed by the programmers of "Superman" for the Nintendo 64. Their coding was so terribly inefficient that the game experienced an almost unplayable amount of fog. The programmers excused this by saying that Lex Luthor had unleashed a deadly fog throughout Metropolis.
So when constructing a
shitty-looking webpage, make sure that everybody knows that it is supposed
to be shitty in an act of defiance. Thousands of disillusioned souls will
flock to your cause and fire automatic weapons in the air as Rage Against The
Machine plays in the background.
0 people said, "Hey, neat-looking site."
© 2003 by Maddux