Cartoon
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures

Animal
medieval dickweed

Outfit: vest / jacket tied around waist / guns / lots of guns

Tagline: "Whoa."

Plot summary:  When best friends Bill S. Preston (Esquire) and Ted "Theodore" Logan are in danger of being separated and their band broken up because they're failing history, George Carlin of the Future shows up (because the band is important to future world peace) with a telephone booth that allows the boys to travel through time and ace their history report. They do so, and George Carlin of the Future does an extended monologue about the seven dirty words you can't say IN THE FUTURE. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and FLARG.

A couple of years later Bill and Ted were assassinated by robot thems and navigated both Heaven and Hell to return to Earth, regain their worldly importance, and lip-synch to a KISS powerballad while wearing large, pasted-on beards. "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey" is one of the most underrated and under appreciated movies ever made, both because of its hilarious and original screenplay and because it taught us that all we need to acheive world peace is the Grim Reaper playing music while on Mars and the voice of Paul Stanley.

So what did Bill and Ted do in the interim? They dicked around in a cartoon series that finds the twosome working the words "excellent" and "bogus" into conversation even more unbelievably than before. Sometimes even in the middle of words. I swear I once heard Ted call Bill a flarging cocksexcellentucker.

In a word, "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures" was most non-non non-non NON heinous. As opposed to catholic school, which is nun heinous.     (more)

User Comments:  Movie Ted and Cartoon Ted are seperated only by their frequency of using the word "fag." They dress the same, act the same, and are both cardboard images voiced by Keanu Reeves.

I worshipped these movies as a kid but could never get behind the cartoon, much like the "Back to the Future" that asked me to invest emotionally in Doc Brown's children. No dice. The joy of watching Sigmund Freud try to pick up women in the mall while holding a corn dog is not subtly replaced by Ted bouncing up and down like an Animaniac even when he's standing still. I don't get that. It's harder to make an image move than it is to make an image not move. Why can't Richard Linklater understand that? Trace Ethan Hakwe. Just fucking trace him. His eyeballs don't need to bulge to make me understand how he's feeling. Hey, guys in charge of animating "Home Movies," are your arms constantly in motion so muchso that you are unable even with sophisticated T-square technology to draw a straight line? A line. A LINE. HERE LOOK

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I just made that in no seconds. NOW COACH MCGUIRK'S HEAD WILL NOT LOOK LIKE IT IS MADE OUT OF WORMS. YOU ARE WELCOMED.

User Rating: 7.4/10 (668,111 votes)