Cartoon
The All-New Super Friends Hour
Challenge of the Super Friends
Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show
The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians.
Galaxy Super Power Using Pals
Outerspace Super People
Super Mans

Animal
vfucking chinaman

Outfit: wristbands / tightie greenies / weight-lifting belt

Tagline: "Kaze no Yō ni Hayaku!”

Plot summary: For a while there, the Superfriends were all white guys. Even Wonder Woman was a white guy. Can you believe it? The color of their skin was white. I don't know about you, but if a group of superheroes has banded together to save civilization and myself from terrorist and zombies they should have varied levels of melanin in their skin and hair so that I can apparently be baby Tarzan or some shit and find one "like me." Remember when the Dream Team got together to jack move the entire world at basketball? Larry Bird and John Stockton were added to the team so that I could watch and enjoy! If it were just a bunch of black guys playing basketball I wouldn't have any idea what was going on!

Samurai fills the "Oriental" quota for the Superfriends. No, not the "Asian" quota. This motherfucker was oriental. He operates under the code of "Bushido," the Japanese code of conduct loosely analogous to the European concept of chivalry, by relating everything he says and does to Bushido. Samurai helps an old lady to cross the street and can't resist the urge midway through the crosswalk to stop, announce that benevolence is one of the seven tenets of Bushido, turn invisible, and boom, the old lady gets plowed by motorists. Yeah, he could turn invisible. His main power was turning parts of his body into tornadoes, but he could also turn invisible (by yelling "INVISIBLE MAN" in Japanese) and set himself on fire. Although I guess a lot of Asian people have that power. Samurai is also such a high yellow that you have to stand on your toes to see him. (more)

User Comments: I write a lot of these entries. I write about bears in shirtless collars, I write about ethnic teens in khaki jumpers making "heart" come out of rings, I write about squirrels in trenchcoats and musketeer turtles. But for the first time since I started this section I can truly ask, "what the goddamn is up with this guy's clothes."

If he was a female character in the 90s I could slap a padded boxing helmet on her, give her a sword with two blades, and blame it all on Rob Liefeld. I could put a thousand cross-hatched lines on his face and blame him on Jim Valentino. He could yell IGO MOEN and set himself on fire in front of Joe Quesada's cats, I wouldn't care. But this is a guy on a kids show in the 1970s wearing wrestling trunks and suspenders (without pants, or a shirt) that TURN INTO HIS SHOULDERPADS. So basically you've got a guy with a top-knot and a diaper turning his foot into a tropical storm to lift and separate Solomon Grundy. You know why Spider-man's costume is so cool? It has spider webs on it. The Fantastic Four wear blue suits with a 4 on the front. The Hulk wears pants. Samurai thought the best gear for defending the galaxy was a gold necklace and knee socks. Who do I blame that on? Hanna? Barbera? I doubt those guys were huddled over the drawing board, trying to incorporate Feudal Japanese history into their cartoon. But they could've at least given a guy named SAMURAI some samurai stuff.

Hey, wait a minute, where's the Innuit Superfriend, with the power of CONTROLLING FIRES

User Rating: 4.40/10 (like 15 votes)